lighthearted monday!

Oct 24, 2005 09:29

here's the thing: no one tells you that having kids means your heart breaks every single day. no one tells you that when you love someone that much, it's fucking painful. the buddhists tell you life is suffering. and it is. it hurts to love them. i walk around in a constant state of low level anxiety (sometimes ratcheted up to a high state) ( Read more... )

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themowingdevil October 24 2005, 06:45:52 UTC
i used to actively court death and now i'm so scared that it's going to come back and find us.

You have no idea how much I ID with this. It took my breath away to read.

I hope yr OK. I'm at work all morning but I'll be around this afternoon if you feel like corresponding!

xoxox

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santosha October 24 2005, 06:59:06 UTC
i'm ok, well you know, sort of anyway. just all this worry! but i guess growing up involves a fair amount of worry.

xoxo

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themowingdevil October 24 2005, 08:40:52 UTC
Well, yes.

But you said the thing I actively do not say because I'm not brave like that! Now I can admit it to myself.

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santosha October 24 2005, 08:46:29 UTC
i'm not brave because i want to be. i feel as if it's been foisted upon me.

and i think you're brave.

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themowingdevil October 24 2005, 11:20:25 UTC
I don't know about that. But, of course, life must be lived.

Yes, foisted is good, descriptive word.

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