lighthearted monday!
here's the thing: no one tells you that having kids means your heart breaks every single day. no one tells you that when you love someone that much, it's fucking painful. the buddhists tell you life is suffering. and it is. it hurts to love them. i walk around in a constant state of low level anxiety (sometimes ratcheted up to a high state) because i'm scared of losing them or of something happening to them. i hate seeing them having trouble navigating the world. i want to pull them close to me, keep them in my sight and protect them from everything that is hard or that hurts.
i used to actively court death and now i'm so scared that it's going to come back and find us. i cannot lose any of my people. it's a mantra, a prayer, a plea. please, just keep them happy healthy safe and strong.
i used to actively court death and now i'm so scared that it's going to come back and find us. i cannot lose any of my people. it's a mantra, a prayer, a plea. please, just keep them happy healthy safe and strong.