graduation is tomorrow. help me.
so im moving all the crap that was in my bedroom into the master bedroom and all the crap that was in the office room downstairs into the "wii" room. i have way too much stuff and not enough shelves to organize it all in. le sigh. i hate moving stuff.
tomorrow is my graduation! it doesnt feel very exciting yet. i guess its because i have no idea what im doing with my life right now so its more like a dread-the-future kind of feeling rather than a omg-i-never-have-to-write-another-paper-or-study-for-another-final-ever-again kinda mood. this whole not knowing thing is just killing me.
on another note, i called my uncle today to ask him if he was gonna come to my graduation and we chatted for a bit. he then suddenly says that he read my facebook "blog" and saw that i had lost but then found my camera. i was like....oh..my...god. yes i knew that he had a facebook, but i didnt think he actually used the thing. and he can read my status and read my wall (what he referred to as the "blog"). grossss...what else does he know about my life that i would rather not discuss with the older generations of my family? my parents dont even know that i lost my camera...i hope he doesnt bring this up tomorrow at my graduation. then the questions will just come pouring in...where did you lose it? when did you lose it? how did you get it back? you had to go and meet the guy?? who went with you? where did you have to go to get it? ...perhaps i could tell the truth...cuz do they really know what bay to breakers is anyway? ugh...at least he doesnt know that i have a real blog.
i feel bad that i have this need to hide everything from my parents...i wish they would be more accepting of me going out and actually experiencing things in the world. my dad has been significantly more lenient nowadays. almost a complete 180 from what he used to be in a sense...because he has become a lot more..i guess, caring? he called me the other day and got mad at me because i dont call him to talk about things enough...or really ever. he wishes that i would talk to him more. and he even wondered if it was his fault that we have a communication gap rather than the usual "blame everything on me because everything is my fault and only i am the one who can change anything" kind of situation. its weird. its weird talking to him in general.
and with this whole moving thing my mom has been coming over to the house more to try to help out. it has been annoying tho because i have to hide all of dennis's stuff, except that was a complete failure because she came over completely unannounced and he was here and all his stuff was everywhere and it was pretty clear that he had been staying over, which is a no-no. after he took out all his stuff, he still left some things behind, which i have to hide still...not to mention my photos and BCPs. and this all goes back to this uncomfortable feeling that i have to hide everything from my parents...as if the things that im doing are really wrong. but they arent. not in my opinion anyway.
i told dennis that i kinda wish i could go and live somewhere else. maybe not forever, but at least for a little bit. a few years maybe? i wish i could just get away or at least see something new. something that is different from here...where ive been for 22 years. but he told me that honestly, california is pretty nice. the bay area and south bay especially. since he has seen a bit, at least more than me anyway. but still. i dont really care. i just want to get away.
tomorrow is my graduation! it doesnt feel very exciting yet. i guess its because i have no idea what im doing with my life right now so its more like a dread-the-future kind of feeling rather than a omg-i-never-have-to-write-another-paper-or-study-for-another-final-ever-again kinda mood. this whole not knowing thing is just killing me.
on another note, i called my uncle today to ask him if he was gonna come to my graduation and we chatted for a bit. he then suddenly says that he read my facebook "blog" and saw that i had lost but then found my camera. i was like....oh..my...god. yes i knew that he had a facebook, but i didnt think he actually used the thing. and he can read my status and read my wall (what he referred to as the "blog"). grossss...what else does he know about my life that i would rather not discuss with the older generations of my family? my parents dont even know that i lost my camera...i hope he doesnt bring this up tomorrow at my graduation. then the questions will just come pouring in...where did you lose it? when did you lose it? how did you get it back? you had to go and meet the guy?? who went with you? where did you have to go to get it? ...perhaps i could tell the truth...cuz do they really know what bay to breakers is anyway? ugh...at least he doesnt know that i have a real blog.
i feel bad that i have this need to hide everything from my parents...i wish they would be more accepting of me going out and actually experiencing things in the world. my dad has been significantly more lenient nowadays. almost a complete 180 from what he used to be in a sense...because he has become a lot more..i guess, caring? he called me the other day and got mad at me because i dont call him to talk about things enough...or really ever. he wishes that i would talk to him more. and he even wondered if it was his fault that we have a communication gap rather than the usual "blame everything on me because everything is my fault and only i am the one who can change anything" kind of situation. its weird. its weird talking to him in general.
and with this whole moving thing my mom has been coming over to the house more to try to help out. it has been annoying tho because i have to hide all of dennis's stuff, except that was a complete failure because she came over completely unannounced and he was here and all his stuff was everywhere and it was pretty clear that he had been staying over, which is a no-no. after he took out all his stuff, he still left some things behind, which i have to hide still...not to mention my photos and BCPs. and this all goes back to this uncomfortable feeling that i have to hide everything from my parents...as if the things that im doing are really wrong. but they arent. not in my opinion anyway.
i told dennis that i kinda wish i could go and live somewhere else. maybe not forever, but at least for a little bit. a few years maybe? i wish i could just get away or at least see something new. something that is different from here...where ive been for 22 years. but he told me that honestly, california is pretty nice. the bay area and south bay especially. since he has seen a bit, at least more than me anyway. but still. i dont really care. i just want to get away.