group mentality
I’ve never felt a part of a group. When I was young, I tried to, hell, I still try to now in some aspects of my life. The problem is that I can’t understand it. I’m defective in that way. I lack that ‘thing’ that links people together. When it comes to socialization, there’s a point in which I lack the ability to fit in. I am community-deficient. For instance fitting in, means ‘giving in’, and to the outside world ‘giving up’. That’s not what I want. I want to be part of the team. I want to be able to accept the fact that I can rely on others, and I want to believe in their good intentions.
However, I can’t, and I don’t know why. I know that it’s a good thing. Group mentality is a word that’s overused by pessimists who feel that their individuality is somehow threatened -its immature and creates a wall which makes it impossible to work with others; I repeat, I don’t want that.
I find that I can work in smaller groups, preferably one or two folks who are devoid of the politics which blind us to creating a solution fueled by reasons beyond self-serving ambition (whoa, run-on). However, when it comes to trying to integrate and socialize with larger groups, I get lost in the crowd. I become intimidated because I don’t know how to handle myself. Talk to a person one-on-one and see how much they change in a group whether it be a social gathering or meeting at work, and you’ll find that they become more ‘agreeable’ to the point in which, not all, but many of their values are lost. When it comes down to it, it is impossible. The basic definition of being an individual consists of being ‘one’. So, its not the fault of human nature, but a part of it.
Its an unequivocal truth that there’s safety in numbers. Its impossible to fight a battle alone, and we learn this from our first interaction with others. The bullying at school, joining the jeering crowd during a fight, the need to join a gang, and to desire to be with the ‘in’ crowd even when you know you’d never fit in. It’s a defensive mechanism designed to camouflage us from those who would harm us. The ironic thing being that those who we fear, act out of fear themselves. We camouflage ourselves from one another to the point in which we rarely understand one-another. Ask yourself how many people actually know you, or want to know you? How much do you wish to understand every individual that you meet? You will find that there are few and far-between.This is not a bad thing, but a natural response to a world full of threat. Even when we know and come to accept this truth you’ll find that transcending it is one of the most unnatural and difficult things to do.
The phrase, “Just be yourself.” is rarely acted upon because of fear; fear of not being accepted by others. I myself find myself not being myself because I’m afraid others may think that I’m ‘boring’. Like Mena Suvari’s character in ‘American Beauty’, I act the way others expect me to act so much that I don’t have a ‘true’ personality. I like to believe that every human being on the planet knows this. I like to believe that we all secretly hate ourselves for it, whether consciously or unconsciously. The lingering guilt that we feel, the exhaustion at the end of the day, that ‘thing’ that we can’t describe, its our unconscious mind trying to help us understand ourselves. The problem is that many of us are buried within layers of personas to be able to. The emptiness we all feel is not truly knowing ourselves, and not taking the time to try or to accept this truth. And will haunt us for the rest of our lives because our souls are indefinable and governed by the fourth dimension of time. Every day is a new experience which alters our understanding of the world. Though we retain the characteristics of the soul, our individuality is constantly being molded in this understanding.
So what does this mean? If we can never understand ourselves how do we remove the emptiness we feel? The answer is that we can never remove it, but when we understand it. When we understand that it as a part of us, we allow ourselves to accept who we are. We’re able to understand that everyone around us is governed by the same rules. Knowing this, we are able to accept and become more empathetic to others.
While our need for survival forces us into group mentality, we are able to see it as such. It is not who we are, it is not who others truly are. And that should make a difference.
However, I can’t, and I don’t know why. I know that it’s a good thing. Group mentality is a word that’s overused by pessimists who feel that their individuality is somehow threatened -its immature and creates a wall which makes it impossible to work with others; I repeat, I don’t want that.
I find that I can work in smaller groups, preferably one or two folks who are devoid of the politics which blind us to creating a solution fueled by reasons beyond self-serving ambition (whoa, run-on). However, when it comes to trying to integrate and socialize with larger groups, I get lost in the crowd. I become intimidated because I don’t know how to handle myself. Talk to a person one-on-one and see how much they change in a group whether it be a social gathering or meeting at work, and you’ll find that they become more ‘agreeable’ to the point in which, not all, but many of their values are lost. When it comes down to it, it is impossible. The basic definition of being an individual consists of being ‘one’. So, its not the fault of human nature, but a part of it.
Its an unequivocal truth that there’s safety in numbers. Its impossible to fight a battle alone, and we learn this from our first interaction with others. The bullying at school, joining the jeering crowd during a fight, the need to join a gang, and to desire to be with the ‘in’ crowd even when you know you’d never fit in. It’s a defensive mechanism designed to camouflage us from those who would harm us. The ironic thing being that those who we fear, act out of fear themselves. We camouflage ourselves from one another to the point in which we rarely understand one-another. Ask yourself how many people actually know you, or want to know you? How much do you wish to understand every individual that you meet? You will find that there are few and far-between.This is not a bad thing, but a natural response to a world full of threat. Even when we know and come to accept this truth you’ll find that transcending it is one of the most unnatural and difficult things to do.
The phrase, “Just be yourself.” is rarely acted upon because of fear; fear of not being accepted by others. I myself find myself not being myself because I’m afraid others may think that I’m ‘boring’. Like Mena Suvari’s character in ‘American Beauty’, I act the way others expect me to act so much that I don’t have a ‘true’ personality. I like to believe that every human being on the planet knows this. I like to believe that we all secretly hate ourselves for it, whether consciously or unconsciously. The lingering guilt that we feel, the exhaustion at the end of the day, that ‘thing’ that we can’t describe, its our unconscious mind trying to help us understand ourselves. The problem is that many of us are buried within layers of personas to be able to. The emptiness we all feel is not truly knowing ourselves, and not taking the time to try or to accept this truth. And will haunt us for the rest of our lives because our souls are indefinable and governed by the fourth dimension of time. Every day is a new experience which alters our understanding of the world. Though we retain the characteristics of the soul, our individuality is constantly being molded in this understanding.
So what does this mean? If we can never understand ourselves how do we remove the emptiness we feel? The answer is that we can never remove it, but when we understand it. When we understand that it as a part of us, we allow ourselves to accept who we are. We’re able to understand that everyone around us is governed by the same rules. Knowing this, we are able to accept and become more empathetic to others.
While our need for survival forces us into group mentality, we are able to see it as such. It is not who we are, it is not who others truly are. And that should make a difference.