OMG? WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
in 3 days i will be 22, what have i done with my life, well lets recap shall we (knowing people are screaming no) up until l i was 15 my life was an agrivated vortex, all i did was get more beat up and more mentally fucked, then i decided that i was going to be nothing like my mother and i turned a com pleat 180 i got a job and tried to save money ,but my mom took all of that and kicked me out, it was then i knew my life was going to be harder then i had expected, well for the next 7 years my life was like a roller coaster and all i wanted to do was get off, the major highlight and one of the biggest disappointments was japan, after all of the secrafices i still had to come back to this god forsaken country, only to be knocked flat on my face yet again. life truly can be unforgiving, i have learned the hard way, but as with every thing there is hope, I am slowly doing better and i have a wonder is person by my side, this time i hope for the long haul, she is so beautiful, and smart, and loving, and more then i could have ever dreamed of, and now with my 22 just days away i know that life is not all that bad, i have lived my life the only way i thought i could, by my own, and never taking others advice, but now i find myself second guessing even my stout principles, i have seriously been thinking about revenge, imagine, me, revenge, i am trying to hold onto what all this time i thought was what life should be, and that is "to live with no malice in your heart, to all ways help your friends, even at the cost of your own happiness, and above all else to be honest to myself and others" i took these things for granted several times, 1 being one of the most painful losses i have had to suffer( i am so sorry jen please forgive me) but no more, i have learned it is true quality of character that counts, i will stick to my ideals like white on rice, i will work hard to make a life for myself and for others that depend on me, i will always be true to myself and those closest to me and never again sway from my true feelings, I want everybody who reads this to to take it to heart, there are those that are so close to you that you don t even know it protect what you value and never let in to the world, you are your own person, no matter what others say, i have learned much and i continue to learn to this day, life is hard but to be without the love of self is the hardest thing to do, "love yourself and others will fallow". to all my friends i love you with all of my heart and soul, till our paths cross again odaijini*that means take care of yourself*