Almost Like Being In Love -- music and stream of thought
o/` To handcrafted beers made in local breweries. To yogurt, to yoga, to rice and beans and cheese. To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo. To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou. Emotion! Devotion! Causing a commotion! Creation, vacation.. mucho mastubation. Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new! To Sontag, to Sondhiem! To anything taboo! o/` MIMI
Excuse me, did I do something wrong?
I get invited, then ignored all night long
ROGER
I've been trying, I'm not lying
No one's perfect, I've got baggage
MIMI
Life's too short babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine
ROGER
I should tell you-
MIMI
I've got baggage, too
ROGER
I should tell you--
BOTH
Baggage-
OTHERS
Wine And Beer!
"The opposite of war isn't peace... it's creation!"
It's difficult not to sing right now. I miss music: as long as I have memory going back, music was always a mainstay of my life: choir, musicals, church, school, opera... I always expressed myself through song because that made sense. In the past few years, I've not had time or opportunity to sing, unless it's been in the car, or with Paige.
My tenor to first soprano range has eroded to a simple alto-mezzo soprano: I've lost around half my range, especially in the upper registers. My lungs don't sustain like they used to. My sinuses don't stay clear like they used to-- is that because I don't sing? Because the clogged means my resonance is lost through my nasal cavity, which is hell on the higher notes.
I want to dance. I learned some dancing when I was much younger, but I want to take ballroom dancing classes. I never really wanted to be a pretty princess *chuckles* more than just for one day just to see what it was like, and then it was specifically a Disney princess; however... the idea of for once in my life getting to feel someone's arms around me and spinning across a dance floor...
Swing dancing with Matt was one thing-- it was fun, dancing with my brother, but it's a different thing to swing: swing dancing is high energy and more like playing than anything else. Sure, I've gone out line-dancing (wanna make somethin' of it?). I've danced at clubs, where it's more like shaking your ass than actually dancing. But traditional dancing? Hell I've never even slow-danced at a school dance... when I'd go, I'd sit in the back and drink caffiene and watch everyone else and listen to the conversations around me. But I've never had a man take my hand and lead me out to the dance floor, place his hands on my hips, and lose ourselves in the music. And I'd love to experience that... even if it's just in the living room, forgetting the rest of the world for a few moments.
I try to kill off my hopeless romantic, because there's a reason the word "hopeless" proceeds "romantic". Chivalry is dead. There are no knights in shining armor... and no handsome rogues in leather, either. No. There's no trust, no truth, no romance-- except as smokescreen, covering up lies and deceptions.
Even though I know this, why do I keep hoping for even one moment of fairytale happily ever after? Being raised on Rodgers and Hammerstein, Gershwin, and Disney has somehow put a fucked up hope in the back of my head that someday, I will have Some Enchanted Evening... that someday, my "prince" will come, and there will be an upswelling of music and we'll break into a duet of epic proportions, and then live happily ever after.
Or... at least the happily ever after part.
But happily ever afters don't exist, right? That's what I keep reminding myself, at least-- I keep trying to kill off the hopeless part of me who sees the potential for something that... well, can't exist. Fairytales are just that: tales. True love is a fallacy.
Isn't it?
Excuse me, did I do something wrong?
I get invited, then ignored all night long
ROGER
I've been trying, I'm not lying
No one's perfect, I've got baggage
MIMI
Life's too short babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine
ROGER
I should tell you-
MIMI
I've got baggage, too
ROGER
I should tell you--
BOTH
Baggage-
OTHERS
Wine And Beer!
"The opposite of war isn't peace... it's creation!"
It's difficult not to sing right now. I miss music: as long as I have memory going back, music was always a mainstay of my life: choir, musicals, church, school, opera... I always expressed myself through song because that made sense. In the past few years, I've not had time or opportunity to sing, unless it's been in the car, or with Paige.
My tenor to first soprano range has eroded to a simple alto-mezzo soprano: I've lost around half my range, especially in the upper registers. My lungs don't sustain like they used to. My sinuses don't stay clear like they used to-- is that because I don't sing? Because the clogged means my resonance is lost through my nasal cavity, which is hell on the higher notes.
I want to dance. I learned some dancing when I was much younger, but I want to take ballroom dancing classes. I never really wanted to be a pretty princess *chuckles* more than just for one day just to see what it was like, and then it was specifically a Disney princess; however... the idea of for once in my life getting to feel someone's arms around me and spinning across a dance floor...
Swing dancing with Matt was one thing-- it was fun, dancing with my brother, but it's a different thing to swing: swing dancing is high energy and more like playing than anything else. Sure, I've gone out line-dancing (wanna make somethin' of it?). I've danced at clubs, where it's more like shaking your ass than actually dancing. But traditional dancing? Hell I've never even slow-danced at a school dance... when I'd go, I'd sit in the back and drink caffiene and watch everyone else and listen to the conversations around me. But I've never had a man take my hand and lead me out to the dance floor, place his hands on my hips, and lose ourselves in the music. And I'd love to experience that... even if it's just in the living room, forgetting the rest of the world for a few moments.
I try to kill off my hopeless romantic, because there's a reason the word "hopeless" proceeds "romantic". Chivalry is dead. There are no knights in shining armor... and no handsome rogues in leather, either. No. There's no trust, no truth, no romance-- except as smokescreen, covering up lies and deceptions.
Even though I know this, why do I keep hoping for even one moment of fairytale happily ever after? Being raised on Rodgers and Hammerstein, Gershwin, and Disney has somehow put a fucked up hope in the back of my head that someday, I will have Some Enchanted Evening... that someday, my "prince" will come, and there will be an upswelling of music and we'll break into a duet of epic proportions, and then live happily ever after.
Or... at least the happily ever after part.
But happily ever afters don't exist, right? That's what I keep reminding myself, at least-- I keep trying to kill off the hopeless part of me who sees the potential for something that... well, can't exist. Fairytales are just that: tales. True love is a fallacy.
Isn't it?