I am totally and utterly in love with this verse, and this little halloween chapter was absolutely adorable :) Keep up the good work, it's amazing and moving every time! Thanks for this :) Cheers!
Thank-you for the latest installment! I honestly didnt think the poem would spur you to write more beach 'verse but I am glad it did. :D
Okay so I was reading this and getting into the story and thinking "huh. That's not so bad! Jensen's mother is still a raging bitch but he's dealing and Jared is still there, and Sandymg isn't going to make me actually watch her torture Jensen with his candy. And it was all good and I got through it without wanting to cry! Until Taking the peanut M&Ms from Jared’s outstretched hand Jensen is surprised at the tremble in his body. He means to flirt back, to say yes, to suggest games they could play. He means to say thank you.
What comes out is, “I love you.”
Nice work, you made me leak.
I think I'll go back and read the whole verse again just because can :D
The poet is an instant muse for me. I read him very sparingly because of that. This one hit me less literally. I explored tragedy. Both large and small and point of views thereof.
You are also right that this installment did not contain the childhood flashbacks directly. All was shown indirectly. I'm glad you thought it still worked.
My beta said I made her cry, too :)
Since this is a true sequel to Seagull it represents a more emotionally open Jensen. Well, as much as he can be for now.
I had to chuckle at this because sometimes I feel like Danni, but most often I feel like Jensen when it comes to my Ohio weather:
Sometimes you get days like that, living on the shore. Danni says it feels like they are inside a cloud. Jensen has a much more pragmatic view of the damp chill. It just sucks.
Oh my gosh… just picturing Jared in a peanut M&M is giving me the giggles. And poor Jensen, drifting, but Jared’s there to catch him. And I really can’t blame Jensen at all for defending his mom. She raised him, it’s what he knows, he loves her.
His plea to Jared makes sense to me, even though it still angers me, makes me sad:
“So … that’s what a mother is supposed to do. Keep bad things away from her kids. Please … don’t turn it into something tragic. Just. Don’t. Okay?”
And this part brought tears to my eyes because I very much understand it, felt it, been through it myself. Sometimes no matter how much you want the words to come out, inexplicably staying stuck inside.
Hee. Thanks. The line you pointed out is absolutely the pivotal line in the story. "Don't turn this into something tragic". It's what I got from the poem. Tragedies that should be but aren't. Pretty much all of Jensen's childhood falls under this.
But as you say, he isn't just defending his mother. He truly also believes because it's all he's ever known.
His experiences with Jared are such a huge contrast that they leave him disconcerted.
It's been fun writing this character. Broken in a semi-tragic way.
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Keep up the good work, it's amazing and moving every time!
Thanks for this :)
Cheers!
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Okay so I was reading this and getting into the story and thinking "huh. That's not so bad! Jensen's mother is still a raging bitch but he's dealing and Jared is still there, and Sandymg isn't going to make me actually watch her torture Jensen with his candy. And it was all good and I got through it without wanting to cry! Until Taking the peanut M&Ms from Jared’s outstretched hand Jensen is surprised at the tremble in his body. He means to flirt back, to say yes, to suggest games they could play. He means to say thank you.
What comes out is, “I love you.”
Nice work, you made me leak.
I think I'll go back and read the whole verse again just because can :D
Reply
You are also right that this installment did not contain the childhood flashbacks directly. All was shown indirectly. I'm glad you thought it still worked.
My beta said I made her cry, too :)
Since this is a true sequel to Seagull it represents a more emotionally open Jensen. Well, as much as he can be for now.
Reply
I had to chuckle at this because sometimes I feel like Danni, but most often I feel like Jensen when it comes to my Ohio weather:
Sometimes you get days like that, living on the shore. Danni says it feels like they are inside a cloud. Jensen has a much more pragmatic view of the damp chill. It just sucks.
Oh my gosh… just picturing Jared in a peanut M&M is giving me the giggles. And poor Jensen, drifting, but Jared’s there to catch him. And I really can’t blame Jensen at all for defending his mom. She raised him, it’s what he knows, he loves her.
His plea to Jared makes sense to me, even though it still angers me, makes me sad:
“So … that’s what a mother is supposed to do. Keep bad things away from her kids. Please … don’t turn it into something tragic. Just. Don’t. Okay?”
And this part brought tears to my eyes because I very much understand it, felt it, been through it myself. Sometimes no matter how much you want the words to come out, inexplicably staying stuck inside.
As they pull apart Jensen tries ( ... )
Reply
But as you say, he isn't just defending his mother. He truly also believes because it's all he's ever known.
His experiences with Jared are such a huge contrast that they leave him disconcerted.
It's been fun writing this character. Broken in a semi-tragic way.
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