Talk Theory, RPS J2 AU, [PG]
Title: Talk Theory
Author: sandymg
Beta: borgmama1of5
Summary: Timestamp for Talk Hard Verse. Jared and Jensen are supersymetric partners.
Wordcount: 1,600 - one-shot
Genre: RPS, J2 AU
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Rating/Warnings: PG
Disclaimer: This is fiction. No harm intended. No profit made.
A/N: Follows Talk Hard, Talk Soft , Talk Forceful and Talk Strong (recommended to be read first).
A/N2: For violetrose1922 and dr_ducktator who requested this on my prompt request post.
Talk Theory
Jared lights the last candle and smiles. Jensen should be home soon. Home. It’s still new, their living together. But Jared’s stuff is fully moved in now and so far … almost twenty-four hours, it’s been good. The jiggle of the lock in the door brings Jared’s head up.
“Hi.” Jared smiles as Jensen’s gaze travels quickly around the room. “What’s all this?”
Jared’s grin is as bright as the candles he’s lit. Dozens of them. And it’s hokey and he knows it. But really he doesn’t care. “Happy anniversary.”
Jensen’s brows come together in his adorably puzzled look. His eyes grow wide and his mouth drops open just a little. “It … it’s not … “
“We’ve lived together one day,” Jared announces brightly.
Jensen stares. Lower lip still hanging. Pretty much he’s speechless. Not that surprising. Jensen never really talks that much. Well, he does to Jared. Sometimes. When he’s geeking out about something. Jared listens then and hears most of it. Mostly he just loves the light in Jensen’s eyes when he’s animated.
“Jen?”
Jensen blinks then looks at his watch. A hand comes up to silence Jared. Jensen is staring at his watch intently. “Now,” he says softly.
“Now what, Jen?”
“Now … it’s been one day right now. You moved the last box in at this time yesterday. Well, now three seconds ago yesterday.”
Jared knows that tearing up over this is really ridiculous and way gay and … dammit, how does Jensen do this to him every time? “Come here,” he says through a throat that feels stuffed with cotton.
Kissing Jensen is always this revelation. He keeps expecting to not be surprised. To not marvel at the sweetness and perfection and lush warm lips pressed against his. Thinks that eventually it’s got to feel old hat. They’ve kissed so many times. But. Jensen’s tongue swirls against his, sucking and seeking and his teeth tug on Jared’s bottom lip, drawing the skin in and stinging just so and then soothing the pinch with a wet, heated rub. “God, I love you,” Jared murmurs into his lover’s mouth.
“I don’t.”
Jared startles backward, shocked. “What?”
Jensen looks confused then his eyes crinkle into a bemused smile. “No. That’s not … I didn’t mean.” His head ducks. “You know how I feel about you.”
“Then what did you mean?”
“You said ‘God.’ I don’t believe … you knew that, right?”
Jared takes a step back. He guesses he had known. Sort of. Had they never discussed faith before? They spoke about everything at some point, right?
“Jay?”
Jensen has his hands on Jared’s shoulders. “I’m sorry. We were … and I got. Derailed. I don’t know why that happens. Things just pop in my head. Always have and then I blurt them out and it’s all wrong. I’m stupid. I’m sorry.”
“No. Don’t. It’s okay. You can say anything to me.” Jared is still mulling what Jensen has just said. So his boyfriend is an atheist. Jared’s not religious in the church-going sense. But he’s always believed. His parents did and he assumes his siblings do and well, it just seems … normal.
Jared being Jared, he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind. “So, who’d marry us?”
Jensen jumps back, releasing Jared’s arm like he’s been burned.
This time Jared is blushing. He doesn’t know why he said that. They just moved in together and that was a huge step what with Jensen’s father and all that drama. It was too soon to think about any other steps. Except it’s Jensen. And part of Jared knows this is forever.
He babbles to cover the awkward moment. “So … no God? How come?”
Jensen blinks again. He rakes his hand through his hair. “No need. There’s enough in the natural world. I can look around and never stop being amazed.”
“Yes. I mean, sure. But then how do you explain it all? I don’t necessarily believe in a white-haired old man sitting on a throne and looking for worship. But I think there’s gotta be a something behind it all. You know?”
“Oh there is. Supersymetry.” At Jared’s open-eyed gaze Jensen takes a deep breath and continues. “It’s a theory that attempts to unify everything. I’ve told you before how quantum mechanics and Einstein's theory of gravity -- general relativity -- led to inconsistencies in explaining things.”
Jared nods because Jensen has spoken of this before. Doesn’t mean Jared understands it. Jensen accepts the nod and continues. “Supersymetry brings it all together. Really it brings everything together. It postulates that symmetry exists between bosons and fermions.” He rubs his hair again. “A boson is a particle that transmits a force and a fermion makes up matter. The theory connects all known elementary particles by assuming supersymetric partners.”
Jensen has stopped to catch his breath and Jared can do nothing other than smile brightly. Jensen gives him a what? look.
“Supersymetric partners, Jen. That’s us.”
That earns him an atom-exploding smile. Jensen’s skin is golden in the candlelight and his eyes are on fire and suddenly forever doesn’t seem long enough.
“Does it bother you … “ Jensen asks softly. Voice hesitant in a way Jared hasn’t heard in a while. “Does it bother you that I don’t believe in god?”
Jared knows this is an important question. One they really should have asked before, except there were so many other things going on. He came so close to losing everything that he can’t even let himself think about it without shuddering. He opens his arms. “Can I just believe for the two of us?”
Jensen sinks back into him and slowly they work their way to the sofa. Jared keeps Jensen in his arms and they land with a soft plop that elicits an adorable giggle from Jensen. Green eyes are consuming him with naked emotion. “I love you.”
Jared’s gotten used to hearing the occasional me, too from Jensen responding to Jared’s impulsive declarations. Or the whisper in his ear as they were making love. This? Jensen staring it into his eyes? Comes closer to proving Jared’s beliefs than anything ever had before. He leans in for another kiss. Soft and moist and meltworthy. They inhale air and reluctantly shift apart.
“I made dinner.”
“I know. Smells good.”
Jared grins but doesn’t move. “So … who did you talk to today?” Jared hasn’t asked this in a while and Jensen smiles briefly but then something clouds his face. Jared instantly feels concern.
“Sally was out. Mitch was working the front.”
Sally is the barista in Jensen’s favorite coffee shop and one of the first people Jensen regularly started talking to daily upon Jared’s urging. Mitch works there, too. But he has this teasing side that Jared’s always thought bordered on mean. Jared really doesn’t like Mitch. “What he say?”
“No-thing.”
Stuttering. Jared really, really doesn’t like Mitch. He looks at Jensen pointedly.
A sigh. “He asked where my nor-mal half was.”
Fuck. “Jensen. You’re perfect. You can’t let that asshole get to you.” Jensen was so smart. Yet also so dumb about himself. And it didn’t help that the one person who’d taken care of Jensen his entire life never really got past Jensen’s differences himself. “He was wrong, Jen. I love you exactly for who you are, not despite it.”
This entire exchange brings it all back. Although Jensen’s father loves his son very much Alan had seen early on how much Jensen’s genius made him different. His father had protected Jensen fiercely. Hid his son rather than expose him to people who couldn’t understand Jensen’s magnificent mind. It’s not like Alan Ackles had been all wrong. So many people didn’t understand. Only Alan was so scared for his son it led to a distrust of others that had nearly ripped Jared and Jensen apart.
Jensen’s father’s influence isn’t about to vanish that quickly despite Jared’s love. And Jared knows that. But they’d gotten this far. Jensen had let Jared move in. And today is the first day of forever, no matter how hokey that thought is.
Jensen is still by his side, being characteristically quiet. Jared squeezes him closer wishing he’d never brought up the talking thing.
“Supersymetry is part of string theory,” Jensen blurts, turning his head as he speaks and Jared blinks at the sudden flip back to the previous topic. Jared nods his head. He maybe actually knew that. Hanging out with a genius has its advantages.
Jensen looks away. “So that means maybe there’s an alternate universe somewhere where I … where I’m normal.”
“Then I’m glad I live in this universe,” Jared replies quickly. His hand goes to Jensen’s chin and turns Jensen’s face back to him. “This is the only you I ever want.”
Jared’s rendered his partner speechless again. Into the silence Jared adds, “String theory brought us together, right?”
Jensen’s eyes widen. Jared perseveres even though really he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. “Um … random possibilities?”
That garners the start of a smile. “Like my being connected to you on the phone line and not somebody else?”
“Yeah. Like that.”
Jensen’s soft voice saying he just wanted to talk would forever be engraved in Jared’s heart. Changed his life.
The light shimmers along the walls from the flickering candles. Shadows lost in an ancient dance. “Jared?”
“Yeah, Jen?”
“If I could believe in god, it would be because of you.”
And then the strangest thing happens. Because no matter what, Jared could always talk. Only Jared is speechless. Until Jensen’s lips meet his again and talking really doesn’t matter.
fin