Collide: The endless sun
The endless sun
Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Chronicles of Narnia don’t belong to me (sadly). Credit goes to those who do own them.
She was younger but by no means less in wisdom than her siblings. Queen Lucy knew that her faith that Aslan will not abandon Susan is justified. The youngest Pevensie knew that Susan was not lost, contrary to the news that had been brought to their doorstep. She understood the truth behind the turn of events, that Susan had found her way.
She lived her days allowing the world to see her loss. Lucy missed her older sister. The relationship of the two girls could not be compared to what she had with her brothers. Theirs was a different bond and in the light of the sun, she allowed the world to know her pain.
But in the dead of night when the rest of the world was asleep, the young queen of Narnia smiled. She imagined her sister happy in the arms of the man she loved, a fairy tale that played out in her mind. It was not a simple story for she was not ignorant of the possibility that Caspian indeed returned for the star’s daughter. Every night, Lucy pictured in her mind how Susan would love Caspian in silence. She saw in her mind how eventually the young king would realize who it was he should choose. The only thing she could not reconcile was exactly how Ramandu’s daughter would make a clean break of it all.
There was actually one scene that she could not let go of, the one that entered her mind since she found out that Susan was missing. In her mind it was a similar day to when they left, the skies a clear and crisp blue backdrop to the tree that stood tall before all of Narnia. Again Caspian and Susan stood before all of Narnia, facing each other as if they did not know the world was watching them. And then there was Aslan, his greatness present to bless the union that would bring forth the future kings and queens of the land.
This was the last thought Lucy had in her mind as she felt Edmund’s arms go around her, shielding her from something she could barely see. The tale spun into the happy ending as the roaring sound of the train came close-too close. Lucy felt light as she closed her eyes and watched the couple kiss much like she saw them that fateful day, only this time it symbolized the future that was to come. She did not hear Peter scream in horror for the only sound she could recognize was Aslan’s mighty roar as the jubilation of Narnia showered Caspian and Susan.
It felt like breaking through the surface of the sea after believing for a few moments that you were drowning. Queen Susan looked at herself in the mirror and felt like she could breathe normally again. All around her, ladies fussed over her things, making sure they were perfect. She only smiled as she reminded them to calm down and pretend it’s just like any other ordinary day. They only replied with a blank look and proceeded as if they never heard her. They were more excited, it seemed making her laugh quietly once more.
This day was almost a year in the making. It had taken that long for her to rebuild her own sense of self-worth and forgive herself completely. To say it was difficult was an understatement for the guilt that racked her spirit seemed chained to her and she could not let go. But the light of Narnia and the love of her king refused to keep her in the dark.
There were days when Caspian would push her to be part of decisions, both important and seemingly trivial, that affected Narnia. He worked to remind the queen of her stature and what she could do for her people. The king directed her eyes to the world, the good she could do instead of wallowing in her own misery.
She stood up to put on her dress and breathed a sigh of relief when she found that it fit her perfectly. Susan twirled and felt the soft swish of the fabric beneath her. She giggled with delight at the sound, finally catching the excitement of those around her. The queen wondered how Caspian would react when he saw her.
“His majesty will be in awe,” one of her ladies in waiting murmured, answering the question written plainly on her face.
Susan merely smiled and imagined Caspian recounting the moment of her walking down the aisle after the ceremony, when it was just them and the whole world was asleep. In the past months, this was her favorite part of the day-when she would just sit quietly to listen to Caspian regales her with stories about his day. In those precious moments, the only thing that mattered was his voice and how safe she felt. She felt proud to be his confidante, knowing that he trusted her enough to be that open with her and to listen to her opinion. Susan learned what it meant to be Caspian’s friend and for this she was eternally grateful to the woman who died for this to even be possible.
The ghost of an old pain passed through Susan’s eyes as she remembered the daughter of the star who must have stood this way once upon a time. She said a silent message of thanks and promised to take care of their love as best and for as long as she could.
“It’s time, your majesty,” said one of the ladies
The gentle queen nodded and took a deep breath, ready to finally meet her groom.
The king was not a picture of calm as he paced back and forth before all the people that waited for the bride with him. He fidgeted with his fingers as he walked, ignoring Trumpkin as he rolled his eyes.
“She’s coming, your majesty, no need to worry.” Trumpkin reminded his king who simply pretended no one had spoken.
Caspian knew that she would come if their fate only depended on their will but he found the rest of the universe quite difficult to trust. Every step they took was dangerous for it might lead to paths that would separate them and he was unsure if they would find their way back again.
He was still counting the seconds, the minutes and the hours he spent with her, wondering how much time they had left and wishing for countless more days with Susan. He lived his life making sure that every moment mattered, that every chance he had he would let her know he loved her. It was a welcome surprise that the queen matched his efforts.
Every day he would find small notes in places he frequented, each one reminding him to be careful, to do well or to simply smile and avoid frowning. He had grown accustomed to watching her take on some of the most persistent members of his council just so she could buy him some time to rest.
Caspian stopped pacing as he remembered the tradition they had developed in the months they had spent together. He recalled how they talked at the end of each day, her face so animated that after a time he could easily discern how she felt or what she was thinking. The king learned to understand her beyond the queen that she was but as a friend that he shared his life with. Many times she was the voice of reason when his own emotions clouded his judgment but even more than that she was the person he could trust with anything and everything.
And now this person was nowhere in sight. Caspian sighed in obvious anxiety and resumed his pacing much to the dismay of the dwarf beside him. The king heard a deep rumbling chuckle that stopped him in his tracks.
“She is on her way, your majesty; there is no need to worry.” Aslan said lightly
Immediately Caspian dropped to his knees and bowed to the great lion.
“You’re here…” Caspian said, unsure of what to say.
“To bring the peace of mind you seek through the message that this is now her true home. To bless this union of two people who have conquered things that seemed impossible. To bring you hope that even if you have lost so much, there is still much you can expect from this life. I am here, dear one, for these reasons. Do not be afraid. I have not come to take her away. Now, King of Narnia, rise for your queen has arrived.”
To this day, Caspian could not remember clearly what happened past seeing Susan at the end of the aisle as she began to walk towards him. He vaguely recalled his promise of loyalty, companionship and love. He could barely make out the words she spoke as tears streamed down her face in happiness. The only thing he was sure of was Aslan’s great roar that sealed their bond as husband and wife that fateful day before all of Narnia.
It didn’t matter to him that he could not paint that image as detailed as he wanted to in his mind. The only that was important now was the life he had, the family he had made with Susan. He watched silently, leaning casually by the doorway, as Susan sat on the bed with their son in her arms as she told him a story about the uncles and aunt he never knew.
Rilian was three and was growing up quite fast. He was running the day after he learned to walk and his curiosity was unrivaled. He asked about anything that caught his attention and had taken to forming his own theories about things, even the stars in the sky.
One day, he will ask about how his parents met and the story that unfolded after. Caspian knew it will be his tale to tell. He would tell little Rilian about this other world that his mother came from, the thirteen hundred years that separated them, the horn that caused their fates to be intertwined, the homecoming of his mother and that friend who sacrificed her life for his happiness. But it was not yet that day.
“Father!” his son said finally noticing his presence, “Can you tell me again about when you escaped from the castle in the middle of the night?”
Caspian smiled and sat on the empty side of the bed next to his son, thanking Aslan for this chance to be the father he never had.
He watched as his father’s casket was lowered into the ground beside his mother. Rilian’s tears fell on the soft earth they slowly piled on the tomb. Finally, they would be reunited in Aslan’s country, this time for keeps. The son finally was able to smile at this thought, knowing what his parents went through and that now they had an eternity together.
Rilian was five when he first asked his mother about how she met the king. It was a quick reply for she simply reminded him about Caspian blowing the horn and magically returning them to Narnia. It was years later, when he was old enough to fancy a girl himself that he asked his father how he fell in love with the queen.
It was epic, the kind of story you could tell years later and it would still hold the audience enraptured and anticipating if there is a happily ever after waiting in the wings. For once, Rilian was silent and merely listened the entire time his father spoke. His insides churned as he learned of the physical pain his mother endured to return. He reached out as his father told him of the dilemma he faced between keeping his word and hurting the woman he loved. Rilian’s tears fell, much like they did today, when he learned about Seraphina and what she gave up for his family.
“Was it worth it?” he had asked his father
“I would go through it all over again if it was the only way to have the life I have now. I would do it for your mother and for you. I do not think we would appreciate what we have if not for the things we had to see in this life. I would be a lot weaker a king had I not gone through that. My son, love is not just about the days that you want to stretch out forever but also the moments that feel like it’s the end of everything.” Caspian answered
“What if mother is taken away from us?”
“She will not be returned to her world anymore, if that’s what you’re afraid of. But someday, she will die and she won’t be with us for a while.” Caspian replied.
“For a while?” Rilian asked, confused
“Ask your mother about Aslan’s country but just remember this-someday, when you feel like you’re alone in this world, have faith that we’ll be waiting for you there.” Caspian answered.
Rilian watched the night eclipse what was left of this day. The funeral had long been over and he was the only one who remained. He watched the stars as they shone brightly above him, wondering if Ramandu was still one of them. He wondered if Seraphina was watching too, if she wept for the passing of his father as well.
He sat down on the earth as he watched over the graves of his parents. Tomorrow, he will be king but for tonight he is an orphan, mourning for the loss of the parents who taught him how to live, laugh and love. He curled up into a ball hoping his father spoke the truth that they were waiting for him in Aslan’s country.
“Your son has served Narnia well, dear Susan” Aslan said to his companion
Susan nodded as her eyes surveyed the horizon. The fields before her were still and clothed in the brightness of the sun above them.
“He is my pride and joy Aslan. The moment I held him in my arms all the pains in my heart just melted away and I was released from any doubt that I belonged in Narnia’s history they way I did. Rilian breathed new life into that castle and placed everything in perspective. Thank you, Aslan, for helping me accept the consequences of my actions and letting me live the life I’ve always dreamed of.”
“The way you have lived out your days in Narnia as queen, mother and wife is enough thanks for me. I am proud of you, Daughter of Eve, for being greater than the destiny set out for you and for helping King Caspian do just the same.”
They stood in companionable silence as they watched the vast land before them. It was minutes or maybe hours before they saw the silhouette of a young man walking alone towards them.
“He’s here,” Caspian said as he arrived, holding Susan’s hand in his own.
Susan turned to Aslan as if asking for permission.
“Go, my child, it is time to be reunited with your son. In time, your siblings will join you but for today embrace our dear Rilian, for he is home at last.”
Caspian let the queen’s hand go as she ran towards her son. Rilian, upon realizing it was his mother, ran the rest of the way and spun her mother around in a tight embrace. The king followed them out on the field and hugged his son tightly to him.
Seraphina watched silently behind a tree, smiling as she watched the small reunion. She had also been waiting for this day, praying that she would have the chance to see the miracle Caspian and Susan had brought into the world-the son that restored Narnia and justified the part she played in history.
“You are still worth it,” she whispered, “My dear Caspian, I love you.”
Caspian looked up to see Seraphina standing on a hill. He caught the woman’s eye and nodded to her, acknowledging her presence. The king looked at his wife and son before turning to the star’s daughter once more.
“Thank you,” he whispered, “for letting go.”
Caspian took a deep breath and followed his family as they made their way to the heart of Aslan’s country where doubt and fear had no place and there was only hope, love and happiness for the rest of forever.
--fin
A/N Hope you enjoyed this! :)
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