(no subject)
I dont know anymore, i dont know about me. im tired of going to bed thinking everything is ok, only to wake up the next morning to find out its not. Have you ever tryed to go to sleep when you have a million things on your mind and they all link together in a matter of like 3.456567 seconds. And you lay awake tossing and turning because your lost in thought, and b4 you know it its already 230am? Well thats me everynight. It seems like theres way to much for me to handle, and then when it feels like the earth has finally stopped spinning and i've had enough time to plant my feet on the ground, stand up straight, and take a deep breath... my feet fall out from underneith me and it knocks the wind right out of me.
I dunno, call it a rough patch in my life, call it bad luck, call it whatever you want. All i know is it doesnt make me happy. What would make me happy is being how i used to be, not letting little, tiny, mi-nute things bother me. But now i feel like if I ignore the little things... there gunna turn into somthing bigger. Take for instance my dad, i ignored the fact we didnt have a relationship for a long time.. i mean i worked to have him in my life.. but it seemed like the harder i worked.. the harder i fell when it didnt work out. and now... hes leaving. He lives 6 blocks away and we barly talk.. how do i establish a relationship with him when hes 6 states away? He says it will work out.. but in my heart.. i dont believe it.
I just wanna get away from it all i dont what my life to be consumed by heartbreak. Dont get me wrong.. my life isnt horrible by no means. && No, im not angry at the world, and no i dont hate my parents, my bestfriend, or anyone whos ever hurt me.
Lifes about giving second chances, hoping that maybe the second time around.. things will work out. I guess im gunna have to give life a second chance... go out on a limb.. make it work out for me. and if it doesnt, i can go down saying i sure as hell tryed.
I dunno, call it a rough patch in my life, call it bad luck, call it whatever you want. All i know is it doesnt make me happy. What would make me happy is being how i used to be, not letting little, tiny, mi-nute things bother me. But now i feel like if I ignore the little things... there gunna turn into somthing bigger. Take for instance my dad, i ignored the fact we didnt have a relationship for a long time.. i mean i worked to have him in my life.. but it seemed like the harder i worked.. the harder i fell when it didnt work out. and now... hes leaving. He lives 6 blocks away and we barly talk.. how do i establish a relationship with him when hes 6 states away? He says it will work out.. but in my heart.. i dont believe it.
I just wanna get away from it all i dont what my life to be consumed by heartbreak. Dont get me wrong.. my life isnt horrible by no means. && No, im not angry at the world, and no i dont hate my parents, my bestfriend, or anyone whos ever hurt me.
Lifes about giving second chances, hoping that maybe the second time around.. things will work out. I guess im gunna have to give life a second chance... go out on a limb.. make it work out for me. and if it doesnt, i can go down saying i sure as hell tryed.