(no subject)

[sandralizpolanc]

well.
at the moment i am pissed off.
because i lost my damn journal. and it pisses me off!
my sisters a retard and i hope she knows it.
my state of mind is out of this world.
i wish i was dead. and i wish god could take me away.
i make myself feel even worse.
im a damn insecure person.
i loose hope in myself very easily.
my courage is slowly driftin away
i thought i was good.
i thought my life was coming back together.
but i soon learned that it is me
that is ruining my life.
i make myself depressed.
it is not anyone elses fault.
averyone else could give a crap
and nobody will probably open this.
everytime i pray to god.
and everytime i do this is what i say:
please make me strong.
plese make me believe n myself
show me that ur here.
make me a fighter.
make me happy.
ive been trying god.
ive been trying but its so hard.
i always fall back down.

and then i wonder why that prayer never worked.
and i feel liek its all myfault that im like this.
and its is.
it is all my fault.
and noone elses.
im probably not gonna die
unless i commit suicide.
but im not.
im here for a reason.
i wonder what it is.
for now ill keep going.
doing what i love.
singing and acting.
and yess. i know im gonna be famous
and if you dont believe in me go screw yourself
stop trying to taske away the last hopes that i have in something bitch.
and yess i said it. i wish i was dead.