Email exchange with my sister
On Nov 13, 2010, at 9:06 PM, Zoe Kunstenaar wrote:
Hey,
I need to know everything you can possibly remember about your labors and deliveries. Apparently there's an even greater similarity between the labor experience of sisters than there are of mothers and daughters. How did each labor start? How soon did you get to the hospital? How far dilated where you when you got there? Did you ask for an epidural right away and what did they say? I understand that if you are too far dilated when you get there (like 7 or 8 cm) they won't give you an epidural because they figure you're going to deliver before there's really a chance for it to be put in and start working (which sometimes takes as long as an hour and a half).
Did you have any amount of time with either labor where you experienced "early labor" where the contractions were more than 5 minutes apart and mild enough so that you could still talk? If so, how long did it last? (Apparently the average length of early labor is 6-12 hours). Do you know how long you were in "active labor" for? I think that's considered to be contractions 3-5 minutes apart and much more intense. They say the average for that is 2-6 hours. How about the third stage that's supposed to be the hardest? Apparently that's called "Transition" and is the worst part of it, when the contractions are 90 seconds long and every 2-3 minutes. The average for that they say is 30 minutes to two hours.
Did you get a break between the time you were 10cm fully dilated and the start of pushing contractions? How long did you push for? To my surprise, they're saying that that's a lot easier than the transition part.
Did you tear? Was any of it so overwhelming that you were fully screaming or wanted to die?
Any and all information you can give me will be helpful. I want an epidural and with twins it gets even more important in case baby b is breech and they have to reach in and turn him. Your answers might inform some of my decisions and discussions with my ob as to how soon to get to the hospital, how much to worry about getting the epidural in time, etc. I even have the option just to ask for a scheduled c-section, since I'm carrying twins. I might be more likely to do this if your stories involve a great deal of agony.
By the way, in case you didn't know, you're getting two nephews.
-Zoe
On Nov 14, 2010, at 12:32 AM, Karen Davis wrote:
Does not matter. You will have no control or say in the matter once your in labor. That is the most important information. It does not matter what you say when you get to the hospital. It will be all routine for them. Whatever that may be. Especially with twins. It's all about protocol. You will get mad and they won't care. Sorry. Ask anyone.
One Nov 14, 2010, at 1:02 AM, Zoe Kunstenaar wrote:
Can you please tell me your stories? I have a very patient-orientated obstetrician who is very interested in what I want and is known from everyone I talk to to really listen to what women want and what they plan. I've certainly heard it the way you're saying it from people who haven't been delivered by an obstetrician that they have formed a relationship with. That's why I'm going to this one. I have also hired a doula that is extremely experienced and has worked with my obstetrician on over 30 births and will be there to help me communicate with her (the ob). This is also an ob that has had twins of her own. I've worked very hard to find people that are known to respect their patients' process.
Besides, even if things don't work out the way I'm hoping, I'd like to know your labor pattern so that I can have a better idea of what to expect.
Hey,
I need to know everything you can possibly remember about your labors and deliveries. Apparently there's an even greater similarity between the labor experience of sisters than there are of mothers and daughters. How did each labor start? How soon did you get to the hospital? How far dilated where you when you got there? Did you ask for an epidural right away and what did they say? I understand that if you are too far dilated when you get there (like 7 or 8 cm) they won't give you an epidural because they figure you're going to deliver before there's really a chance for it to be put in and start working (which sometimes takes as long as an hour and a half).
Did you have any amount of time with either labor where you experienced "early labor" where the contractions were more than 5 minutes apart and mild enough so that you could still talk? If so, how long did it last? (Apparently the average length of early labor is 6-12 hours). Do you know how long you were in "active labor" for? I think that's considered to be contractions 3-5 minutes apart and much more intense. They say the average for that is 2-6 hours. How about the third stage that's supposed to be the hardest? Apparently that's called "Transition" and is the worst part of it, when the contractions are 90 seconds long and every 2-3 minutes. The average for that they say is 30 minutes to two hours.
Did you get a break between the time you were 10cm fully dilated and the start of pushing contractions? How long did you push for? To my surprise, they're saying that that's a lot easier than the transition part.
Did you tear? Was any of it so overwhelming that you were fully screaming or wanted to die?
Any and all information you can give me will be helpful. I want an epidural and with twins it gets even more important in case baby b is breech and they have to reach in and turn him. Your answers might inform some of my decisions and discussions with my ob as to how soon to get to the hospital, how much to worry about getting the epidural in time, etc. I even have the option just to ask for a scheduled c-section, since I'm carrying twins. I might be more likely to do this if your stories involve a great deal of agony.
By the way, in case you didn't know, you're getting two nephews.
-Zoe
On Nov 14, 2010, at 12:32 AM, Karen Davis wrote:
Does not matter. You will have no control or say in the matter once your in labor. That is the most important information. It does not matter what you say when you get to the hospital. It will be all routine for them. Whatever that may be. Especially with twins. It's all about protocol. You will get mad and they won't care. Sorry. Ask anyone.
One Nov 14, 2010, at 1:02 AM, Zoe Kunstenaar wrote:
Can you please tell me your stories? I have a very patient-orientated obstetrician who is very interested in what I want and is known from everyone I talk to to really listen to what women want and what they plan. I've certainly heard it the way you're saying it from people who haven't been delivered by an obstetrician that they have formed a relationship with. That's why I'm going to this one. I have also hired a doula that is extremely experienced and has worked with my obstetrician on over 30 births and will be there to help me communicate with her (the ob). This is also an ob that has had twins of her own. I've worked very hard to find people that are known to respect their patients' process.
Besides, even if things don't work out the way I'm hoping, I'd like to know your labor pattern so that I can have a better idea of what to expect.