(no subject)
what do you say when your father tells you that he seriously considers the thought of suicide... that he really thinks that he is unworthy to have raised the best most honest man hes ever met, he was refering to me... and that he seriously thinks that he would he would only be a burden on us if he stayed around. well i didnt really say anything.. he said this all, and i was trying to think of something but after him talking for about 30 min i suddenly had to run to the bathroom and started dry heaving harder than i have ever with out actually throwing up. i suspect that one could call it the pysical manifestation of my emotions... i dunno if that even makes scence... he came in with a glass of water and a wet cloth for me to put on my forhead... i told him that he had to stop it and that he would never make it throught any operation if he thought like that, and that he was gonna make it through it becuase he wasnt allowed not to. i then went into my room... i think ive possibly shed too many tears in my life becuase i seem now incapable... but my stomach hurts pretty bad. needless to say i dont think im painting at theatre jax today.