(no subject)
This week has been one of many successes and failures. Which, of course, calls for bulleted lists.
I failed at:
•Writing Haiku. Srsly. 5-6-5? Wtf is wrong with my counting thing?
•Conversation. Everything coming out of my mouth is garbled, none of my stories are feeling fresh, and all new stories need editing.
•Doing my homework. For some reason, I just don't care anymore.
•Taking a Flexo test. Why were half those questions about viscosity? And why couldn't I remember if high viscosity meant runny or thick?
•Being angry. It's just a slow burn that I forget is there.
•NaNoWriMO. I have a general outline I wrote while shitfaced that is very entertaining. Other than that, I haven't worked on it at all.
•Being nice. I'm not normally this mean. Usually it is sympathy, morals, and caring that I lack, not being sweet and cuddly to people.
•Spelling. I r sudenly dum.
I succeeded at:
•Being annoying. Even I want to kick myself in the crotch and shout, "STFU ALREADY!"
•Being a very bad person. I bet that even Satan would raise his eyebrows at some of the things I've thought and said this week.
•Moping.
•Loosing my funny. I'm suddenly incapable of making something funny. I know it has been on the fritz for a while, but damn, this is bad.
•Dwelling entirely too much on failed relationships.
•Having anxiety and being very paranoid. Really, why don't I trust anyone or feel completely comfortable around anyone? Tonight, during a spa party, everyone was asked to close their eyes and relax. This is what galloped through my brain: "But what if you want to murder us all? I'm not the closest to the door. In fact, I would probably be the first one to be knifed in the throat since I'm sitting closest to you. Shit, why did I sit so close to you, you crazy stabby bitch. And I can't not close my eyes because then I'll be ostracized for not participating. Damn. Oh well, I'll just keep my ears open for the sound of a knife being unsheathed. Hmm. I wish I had a boy to fuck. Boy is good."
•Being viciously attacked by a fly. I then caught it between my thumb and forefinger, squeezed it enough to where it was permanently disabled but still alive, then tossed to the side and let it die a drawn out painful death. After reflecting on it later, I was surprised by how easily I let it suffer just because it annoyed me a little bit. Sometimes I wonder what kind of harm I could inflict on someone else if they were to consistently push the wrong buttons. And if I would be as indifferent to it as I was to the fly.
•Spent way too much time in my own head. Obviously.
I failed at:
•Writing Haiku. Srsly. 5-6-5? Wtf is wrong with my counting thing?
•Conversation. Everything coming out of my mouth is garbled, none of my stories are feeling fresh, and all new stories need editing.
•Doing my homework. For some reason, I just don't care anymore.
•Taking a Flexo test. Why were half those questions about viscosity? And why couldn't I remember if high viscosity meant runny or thick?
•Being angry. It's just a slow burn that I forget is there.
•NaNoWriMO. I have a general outline I wrote while shitfaced that is very entertaining. Other than that, I haven't worked on it at all.
•Being nice. I'm not normally this mean. Usually it is sympathy, morals, and caring that I lack, not being sweet and cuddly to people.
•Spelling. I r sudenly dum.
I succeeded at:
•Being annoying. Even I want to kick myself in the crotch and shout, "STFU ALREADY!"
•Being a very bad person. I bet that even Satan would raise his eyebrows at some of the things I've thought and said this week.
•Moping.
•Loosing my funny. I'm suddenly incapable of making something funny. I know it has been on the fritz for a while, but damn, this is bad.
•Dwelling entirely too much on failed relationships.
•Having anxiety and being very paranoid. Really, why don't I trust anyone or feel completely comfortable around anyone? Tonight, during a spa party, everyone was asked to close their eyes and relax. This is what galloped through my brain: "But what if you want to murder us all? I'm not the closest to the door. In fact, I would probably be the first one to be knifed in the throat since I'm sitting closest to you. Shit, why did I sit so close to you, you crazy stabby bitch. And I can't not close my eyes because then I'll be ostracized for not participating. Damn. Oh well, I'll just keep my ears open for the sound of a knife being unsheathed. Hmm. I wish I had a boy to fuck. Boy is good."
•Being viciously attacked by a fly. I then caught it between my thumb and forefinger, squeezed it enough to where it was permanently disabled but still alive, then tossed to the side and let it die a drawn out painful death. After reflecting on it later, I was surprised by how easily I let it suffer just because it annoyed me a little bit. Sometimes I wonder what kind of harm I could inflict on someone else if they were to consistently push the wrong buttons. And if I would be as indifferent to it as I was to the fly.
•Spent way too much time in my own head. Obviously.