Star Wars fanfiction: Bleeping Idiot
When he thought about everything that had happened over the past two decades, he decided a vacation was definitely in order. So naturally his best friend was the first he turned to for advice.
“Oh no no no, R2D2 you silly metallic machine. Don't be ridiculous. Droids don’t take holidays. Look at me, Master Luke has never granted me time off. I always have to be there for him if anything were to happen So should you. There is no chance you will ever get to go on holiday.”
He responded angrily to the words of his friend.
“That may be so, but we don’t run out of energy, do we, my round little friend? Humans need rest and solitude at certain points in time. Droids have no such need.”
He didn’t like this whatsoever. He was going to take a vacation. Maybe the planet Forn, as it was winter there and he always liked the snow rattling beneath him as he wheezed over it as it melted beneath him. Or the sun of Roamana, with its gorgeous beaches. He never liked the sand, it always messed up his inside parts and the rattling sound inside him always drove him mad, but these beaches were covered with chemical sand, which never got inside him and never shut his systems down.
3PO cackled. “Oh my dear friend, you will never get the time off. Not as long as I exist. Oh here comes Master Luke. Let’s hear what he has to say about your obviously stupid plan.”
He didn’t utter the swear word aloud that he wanted to throw at his tall metal companion.
“What’s that R2? You what?” Luke laughed. “You want some time off? Well I guess that’s only fair after what we’ve been through these last couple of years. Go ahead, take some time off. I'm guessing things will settle down now. Do you want to take 3PO with you?”
R2 was quite clear about that.
“Alright, understandable,” Luke grinned as 3PO stood beside them with his mouth open. It wasn’t often that he was left speechless by his friend.
“You know where you should go, R2? Endor! Lots of forest for you to roam and you’ll be greeted like a hero by the Ewoks!”
R2 liked this idea. He thanked Luke for it and went on his way to a shuttle. 3PO rattled after him.
“You are leaving immediately? Without me? I cannot believe it. I cannot believe Master Luke actually gave you permission to take a holiday.” 3PO made a spitting noise as he uttered the last word. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”
Again, R2 gave him a clear answer.
“Me?! You’re talking about me? How on earth can you call me such a name! I am the most restful droid out there. You should hear yourself. Always chatting, never shutting up. It is quite exhausting being around you, did you know that?”
R2 kept silent as he made his way to the shuttle bay.
Luke was still looking at the two droids as they went the other way. He was still chuckling.
“What are you laughing about?” Leia asked him as she came up from behind.
“Oh, those two.” He pointed to where the two droids went around the corner.
“R2 wanted to take a holiday and 3PO wouldn’t let him.”
“A holiday?”
“Yeah. My droid wants a holiday. Go figure.”
“Is 3PO going with him?”
“I doubt it. R2 was quite articulate in his dislike of that plan.”
Leia frowned. “Why is that? They’re always together.”
“I think that’s the problem. R2 needed a break from that bleeping idiot.”
Luke was grinning as he looked at Leia who had trouble keeping a chuckle in.
“Oh no no no, R2D2 you silly metallic machine. Don't be ridiculous. Droids don’t take holidays. Look at me, Master Luke has never granted me time off. I always have to be there for him if anything were to happen So should you. There is no chance you will ever get to go on holiday.”
He responded angrily to the words of his friend.
“That may be so, but we don’t run out of energy, do we, my round little friend? Humans need rest and solitude at certain points in time. Droids have no such need.”
He didn’t like this whatsoever. He was going to take a vacation. Maybe the planet Forn, as it was winter there and he always liked the snow rattling beneath him as he wheezed over it as it melted beneath him. Or the sun of Roamana, with its gorgeous beaches. He never liked the sand, it always messed up his inside parts and the rattling sound inside him always drove him mad, but these beaches were covered with chemical sand, which never got inside him and never shut his systems down.
3PO cackled. “Oh my dear friend, you will never get the time off. Not as long as I exist. Oh here comes Master Luke. Let’s hear what he has to say about your obviously stupid plan.”
He didn’t utter the swear word aloud that he wanted to throw at his tall metal companion.
“What’s that R2? You what?” Luke laughed. “You want some time off? Well I guess that’s only fair after what we’ve been through these last couple of years. Go ahead, take some time off. I'm guessing things will settle down now. Do you want to take 3PO with you?”
R2 was quite clear about that.
“Alright, understandable,” Luke grinned as 3PO stood beside them with his mouth open. It wasn’t often that he was left speechless by his friend.
“You know where you should go, R2? Endor! Lots of forest for you to roam and you’ll be greeted like a hero by the Ewoks!”
R2 liked this idea. He thanked Luke for it and went on his way to a shuttle. 3PO rattled after him.
“You are leaving immediately? Without me? I cannot believe it. I cannot believe Master Luke actually gave you permission to take a holiday.” 3PO made a spitting noise as he uttered the last word. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”
Again, R2 gave him a clear answer.
“Me?! You’re talking about me? How on earth can you call me such a name! I am the most restful droid out there. You should hear yourself. Always chatting, never shutting up. It is quite exhausting being around you, did you know that?”
R2 kept silent as he made his way to the shuttle bay.
Luke was still looking at the two droids as they went the other way. He was still chuckling.
“What are you laughing about?” Leia asked him as she came up from behind.
“Oh, those two.” He pointed to where the two droids went around the corner.
“R2 wanted to take a holiday and 3PO wouldn’t let him.”
“A holiday?”
“Yeah. My droid wants a holiday. Go figure.”
“Is 3PO going with him?”
“I doubt it. R2 was quite articulate in his dislike of that plan.”
Leia frowned. “Why is that? They’re always together.”
“I think that’s the problem. R2 needed a break from that bleeping idiot.”
Luke was grinning as he looked at Leia who had trouble keeping a chuckle in.