You've reached Sam and Max, Freelance Police. We're not in right now. If this is an emergency, scream louder and maybe some bystanders will be able to assist you with your unfortunate predicament.

Hello, law-abiding citizens and evil-doers! You've reached Sam. If you meant to call our freelance police hotline, then you misdialed pretty badly. I would look into that, if I were you. So anyway. Leave a message at the beep so we can get right back to you. As soon as Buckethead here stops throwing light bulbs at me.