(no subject)
Yay happiness! Christopher took me to Olive Garden yesterday which I haven't been to in so long and it was fantastical! His phone kept ringing but being 'who he is' with 'the store n all' (chris' sayings) he has to always have his phone on, ya know 'incase something happens'... (boys i tell ya). Well then we went back to the apartment and had so much fun we talked and joked and it was just us two and we got so close it was awesome. It's nice to have somebody where you know that when you call them their happy to talk to you. I still keep his note in my purse and I still smile everytime I read it. Gosh it's only been two weeks but how much better could this get? He's getting me some new shoes... I could tell he doesn't like mine... I'm kinda scared of how I dress and stuff cuz he's more upper class... I mean who goes and blows $600 on 3 shirts and a pea coat?... THEN wants to go to COACH? I mean I bought my cute lil pink sneaker shoes (kinda skater/punkish... getting into it more i think) for $7.99 and I LOVE THEM! He looked at them and was like yea their cute but I'm gonna get you some nice ones... from Eastbay or something? I've never heard of it... whatev to that... but hey if he really wants me to dress all nice he can buy me clothes right? Sounds good to me. But things are so good and we get along so well.... I hope this lasts, he even wants it to last... ahh 'loves it'
I need another job... I don't think I'm meant to ever have sleep. I wouldn't mind staying at Build a bear until 11:30 at night if I was getting paid better ... but gotta wait till 90 days comes... then I'll get my time.
School....
omg I frickin messed up again... I absensed out and can't go back till next semester. So instead of going to school I take this american schooling thing where they send me the pamplets and test packets and stuff and i send it in or some shit. I'm sooo pissed at myself... can i do anything right when it comes to stuff like that? God I want to graduate so bad... if I didn't want to I wouldn't have even tried going back for the full year I'm just so sick of the bullshit I keep putting myself through. You'd think that I'd want to see myself in a cap & gown since I missed myself doing it last year... and I told all my friends that they HAD to come because this is the most important thing to me... fuck getting a GED it's nothing but a 'Good Enough Dimploma' (wow i agree with JP on something).. but ahhh Sam stop fuckin up. This American School thing is like 100 bucks or somethin and I have to take one this semester and one next semester... fuck why am i complaining? I'm gonna do it, I have to... I want to go to college and actually be something worthwhile and prove EVERYONE wrong about me not having a future. NOBODY believes that I am anything else but a fuck up... I guess you can see that from the way I am but could SOMEONE GIVE ME ANY MOTIVATION OR HOPE AT ALL? ahhh ... i think i'm done bitching now...