(no subject)
so a few weeks ago i had this huge lump under my arm that they had to remove..and they never told me what it was..but i ended up going to the doc three times that week for it and still nothing..never told what it was..they switched me from one med to a stronger...still dont know why...and now i found three more lumps under my other arm...i am going today at 4:30 and they better tell me what it is...dang it..
o well on a different note...hung out with an old friend last night just watched movies and talked it was fun...i actualy kind of missed him in a way.and im glad we got to finally get our schedules right to hang out...
so i realized that i really dont need a mom as much as i thought... i have my dad and he ll i need..hes all i ever needed i just never realized it till now with this whole thing with my mom...this is how i feel about it if she isnt grown up enought to cal me and talk it through and apologoze like i did then who nees her cuse obviously she doesnt care..how i feel, where i end up, or what im doing in my life. she doent know about these new lumps and i wont tell her...nothing that happens in my life is any of her concern now...i just wish i would have realized it when the whole divorce went down and i chose my mom for the summer....it really did hurtmy dad more that i thought it would...he always was my hero...and always will be.
i miss the innocence of childhood, the imagination, the not a care in the world, the no drama with family or anyone for that matter, the simpleness, camping, boating, swimming in the pool everyday, going downtown and buying candycigs and eating them before i got home cause i was allowed to buy them. rollerblading everywhere, cheerleading. i just miss it all...and if i could go back i would...i would change a lot about my high school years, i wouldnt have became best friends with some of the people i did, i wouldnt have dated some of the people i did, and i wouldnt have cheered, i wouldve been more involved and tried harder in school...bu i guess everything happens for a reason...
doc appt today..and thats about it..
i might see if b. wants to chat for a bit but other than that...boring day.
o well on a different note...hung out with an old friend last night just watched movies and talked it was fun...i actualy kind of missed him in a way.and im glad we got to finally get our schedules right to hang out...
so i realized that i really dont need a mom as much as i thought... i have my dad and he ll i need..hes all i ever needed i just never realized it till now with this whole thing with my mom...this is how i feel about it if she isnt grown up enought to cal me and talk it through and apologoze like i did then who nees her cuse obviously she doesnt care..how i feel, where i end up, or what im doing in my life. she doent know about these new lumps and i wont tell her...nothing that happens in my life is any of her concern now...i just wish i would have realized it when the whole divorce went down and i chose my mom for the summer....it really did hurtmy dad more that i thought it would...he always was my hero...and always will be.
i miss the innocence of childhood, the imagination, the not a care in the world, the no drama with family or anyone for that matter, the simpleness, camping, boating, swimming in the pool everyday, going downtown and buying candycigs and eating them before i got home cause i was allowed to buy them. rollerblading everywhere, cheerleading. i just miss it all...and if i could go back i would...i would change a lot about my high school years, i wouldnt have became best friends with some of the people i did, i wouldnt have dated some of the people i did, and i wouldnt have cheered, i wouldve been more involved and tried harder in school...bu i guess everything happens for a reason...
doc appt today..and thats about it..
i might see if b. wants to chat for a bit but other than that...boring day.