Wishing on a Star
Title: Wishing on a Star
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG
Word count: 3,731
Disclaimer: Alas, I own nothing. If I owned them, I wouldn't be here.
Warning: MPREG. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Okay so this is a prompt I filled anonymously at
spn_hardcore a while back. And, well, I want all my stories in one place so now I'm posting this in my journal.
The Prompt: Jared and Jensen have been trying to have a baby for three years with no success. Eventually, Jensen leaves Jared, who believes it's his own fault they can't have kids. However, a few weeks later Jared learns he's finally pregnant, but he's afraid to tell his husband. Someone knocks some sense into both of them.
A/N: The title comes from the song of the same title, originally by Rose Royce, and covered by various others. I was really struggling to find a title for this and I could kind of make the lyrics fit the story so I was like "eh. It'll do..."
Jared sits on edge of the tub, anxiously waiting for the 2 minutes to be up. It’s not his first time taking a pregnancy test. Hell, it’s not even the tenth. He and Jensen having been trying to conceive for about two years now, but every time he takes the test it comes back negative.
Every time the little white stick only has one line on it and Jared feels himself break just a little more every time. He knows that this is putting a strain on his and Jensen’s relationship. Jensen really wants kids. Jared’s known that since the beginning. And he wants kids too, he does. But he feels like he’s letting Jensen down with every negative test.
After a while he stopped telling Jensen that he was taking the tests. He just couldn’t stand to see the look of disappointment that crossed Jensen’s face when it came back negative.
The clock on his phone beeps. The 2 minutes are up.
Jared gets up and walks over the counter, unconsciously holding his breath as he picks up the test. He lets out in out in a deep, shuddering exhale.
Negative. Again.
~*~
Jared throws yet another test in the trash.
Three years. Three years and he’s still not pregnant. By this point Jared has lost count of the amount of tests he’s taken.
He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. Why can’t he get pregnant? Why can’t he give Jensen this?
Jared knows that he’s acting more and more withdrawn with every test he takes. He can’t help it. He just really wants for once for there to be two lines instead of just the one. He wants to give Jensen a baby so badly but he just can’t. Jensen deserves to be with someone who can give him what he wants, and what he wants is a baby.
He guesses that if he just distances himself emotionally it won’t hurt as much when Jensen does leave. And he knows he will.
One month later he was proved right.
~*~
Jensen packs his bags, getting ready to leave.
He doesn’t want to, but over the last year or so Jared has been getting more and more distant to the point where nowadays it’s like living with a complete stranger. Jared barely talks to him, doesn’t seem to want to look Jensen in the eyes, and he’s just generally not the bubbly, outgoing man that he married.
Jensen’s not a fool. He knows that this probably has something to do with the fact that they’ve been unable to conceive. It breaks his heart that he may not have any children, but what he can’t seem to make Jared understand is that he would rather have no children at all if it meant having Jared. He wants kids with Jared and he just wouldn’t be happy with anyone else, even if it meant having kids.
Jensen thinks that Jared believes it’s his fault that they can’t conceive. That would explain his withdrawal, he supposes. Jensen has tried to suggest them going to a fertility doctor but Jared rebuffs him every time he tries to broach the subject. He guesses it has something to do with not wanting to be told definitively that you can’t have children. Jensen gets that. He feels like that himself. He’s so scared that he’s the one with the problem, and even though he’s dying to know, it would break his heart to hear it; to know that he’s letting Jared down.
However, no matter how hard he tries, Jared just keeps withdrawing into this shell that Jensen just can’t get him to break out of. He’s tried everything, but he doesn’t know how to help his husband. It’s hard living with this ghost of a man that used to be his husband. It’s hard and it’s breaking his heart.
So that’s why he’s leaving. He really doesn’t want to; he loves Jared with all his heart, but he can’t help him and it’s too hard to be around him.
~*~
Jared doesn’t blame Jensen for leaving. Hell if he were Jensen, he would have left a long time ago. Well, maybe not. But still… He doesn’t blame Jensen. All Jensen wants is children so why stay with someone who can’t give you that?
It hurts. He won’t deny that. It hurts not being with Jensen. But it hurt more being with him and knowing he couldn’t make him happy. At least now Jensen can be with someone who can give him the children that he so desperately wants.
It’s better this way.
~*~
Jared’s been feeling nauseous for about a week now. The last couple of days have seen him up at the crack of dawn legging it for the bathroom before he vomits. The nausea won’t seem to give him a break, and he’s getting sick of it. Pun not intended.
It’s been nearly a month since Jensen left. He hasn’t seen or spoken to him. He knows he’s staying with Chris though; mainly because Chris and Steve came by to pick up a few of Jensen’s things.
Jared has been trying to avoid his own friends; he doesn’t want their sympathy. He doesn’t need it. He’s fine. Jensen can be happy now. He can go find himself a new guy or girl and have all those babies that he wants.
He’s totally fine with that. Jared hopes that if he thinks it enough times, it might actually come true.
Jared suddenly surges from the couch and makes it to the bathroom just in time to lose his meagre breakfast.
~*~
The next day, Jared sits on the sofa staring at the paper bag that he got from the drug store on his way home. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up just to have them trampled on. Again. Especially with everything that’s been going on.
Jared takes a deep breath, steels himself, picks up the bag and goes into the bathroom.
Five minutes later he’s staring at 2 blues lines on a little white stick.
~*~
Jared can’t believe it. He’s staring at the pregnancy test in his hands and there are two blue lines. Two. Not one. Two!
After three years of trying, when Jensen has finally given up on him, THAT’s when the test comes back positive? Seriously?
Un-freaking-believable.
Jared doesn’t know what to do. This is all he’s wanted for three years and now that it’s finally happened it’s nothing like he thought it would be. For one, he though Jensen would be sitting right there next to him.
He should probably call Jensen. He knows that he should call Jensen. He has a right to know that after all these years he’s finally going to become a father. But he just… can’t.
~*~
Jared heaves himself up from the couch to answer the door. At first he’d hoped that whoever it was would just go away, but after 10 minutes of knocking he figured he should probably see who it is.
He opens the door to find Sandy, hand poised for another round of knocking.
“Jared! It’s about time!” Sandy exclaims.
Jared walks back into the living room, leaving the door open for Sandy to follow. He would try to get her to leave if he thought it would do any good. But he knows his friend and he knows that she won’t be leaving until she’s satisfied and she’s done what she’s come here for.
“Jared, you’ve been ignoring all my phone calls!” complains Sandy as she takes a seat next to Jared on the couch.
“No, I haven’t,” Jared lies but he can’t he doesn’t look her in the eyes as he does.
Sandy gives Jared a sceptical look. “Yes, you have. And not just mine. I know Chad and Sophia haven’t been able to get hold of you either. You’ve been avoiding us. When was the last time you even left the house? And going to work doesn’t count!”
Jared snaps his mouth shut at Sandy’s last remark. He looks up at her rather sheepishly.
Sandy’s tone changes to a more concerned tone when she asks, “What’s going on? I know you haven’t gone out much since Jensen left but at least you’d pick up the phone occasionally. But these last few weeks you haven’t even done that. Something must’ve happened. So, what’s going on?”
Jared sighs, resigned. He knows that Sandy is going to keep hounding him until he tells her. And she’s right. Ever since he found out that he was pregnant he has been really withdrawn. Even more so than he was before.
“I’m pregnant,” Jared says on a sigh.
Sandy just stares at him for a minute with her mouth hanging slightly open.
“What? How? I mean, when?”
“I found out a few weeks ago. The doctor said I’m about 2 months along now.”
“Have you told Jensen?”
“No,” Jared sighs. “I know I should, but I just… I don’t know what to say. And I don’t know what he’ll say. I’m scared,” Jared says, turning to look at Sandy with pleading eyes. “I mean, what if he doesn’t come back? Or worse, what if only comes back for the baby? I don’t think I could live like that. And what if he thinks I’m only making it up to make him come back?”
“Honey, Jensen won’t think that. Jensen knows you. He knows you would never do something like that.”
“But that’s the whole reason he left. He wanted kids and I wasn’t delivering. What’s he going to think if I suddenly up and say I’m pregnant a month and half after he left?”
“I’m sure that’s not the reason he left. Jensen wouldn’t do something like that. Jensen loves you. He wouldn’t leave just because you guys haven’t been able to have kids yet.”
“Well that is the reason he left,” Jared snaps at her. Sandy just stares at him with a dubious look on her face. “Look,” Jared sighs, “I’m getting kind of tired. I’ll call you in the morning.”
Sandy gets up from the couch, knowing when she’s been dismissed. “Okay. Fine. But you’d better call me.” With that Sandy lets herself out the front door.
~*~
Sandy knows that Jared probably isn’t going to call her. She also knows that he isn’t likely to call Jensen any time soon to tell him. Not of his own accord anyway. She knows that Jared and Jensen still love each other. They love each other just as much today as they did on their wedding day.
She’s going to have to do some meddling. She has to if she wants to get them back together again. She also knows that she can’t do it on her own. Which means that she has to do something that she would really rather not do; she’s going to have to call Chris.
~*~
Sandy and Chris have never really gotten along; Sandy doesn’t know why, they just haven’t. She thinks he’s a bit of an ass. But then again, she’s friends with Chad who’s a total douche, so maybe that’s not the reason.
If she could, Sandy would avoid Chris as much as possible. Obviously they’re quite often in the same place, their best friends being married and all, but when they are they tend to stay out of each other’s way. It’s a mutual dislike. But this concerns Jared and Jensen, and if it gets them talking to each other, finally communicating, then it is totally worth having to deal with Chris.
“Yeah?” Chris’ rough voice comes from the other side of the phone line.
“Chris? It’s Sandy.”
“Sandy? McCoy? Why are you calling me? Is Jared okay?”
Sandy is somewhat pleased to hear a note of concern in Chris’ voice. He may be an ass but at least he cares about his friends.
“No, not really,” Sandy replies. “He hasn’t been okay for a while. Neither has Jensen. That’s why I’m calling. I need your help to get them back together.”
Chris lets out a quick bark of laughter. “You need my help? That’s rich, coming from you.”
“Chris, don’t be an ass about this,” Sandy says exasperatedly. “Do you want them back together or not?”
“Well, yeah, of course I want them back together; Jensen’s been miserable. It’s a real downer. I’m just enjoyin’ you comin’ to me for help.”
“Are you going to help or not, Christian?”
“I dunno. Are ya gonna ask nicely?”
Sandy sighs. “Christian. Will you please help get Jared and Jensen back together?” Sandy asks in her sweetest voice.
“I’ll consider it.”
“Christian!” Sandy snaps.
“Alright, alright! I’ll help. Jeeze. So what’s the plan?”
“We need to get them talking. And Jared refuses to call Jensen. He’s convinced that the only reason Jensen left is because they hadn’t been able to conceive.”
“Well that’s not true,” Chris cuts in. “Jen would never do that. He loves Jared. He’d never leave because they couldn’t have kids.”
Sandy lets out a breath she hadn’t realised she’s been holding. She knew that couldn’t have been the reason Jensen left. She’s just glad to have it confirmed. Especially by the person who knows Jensen best. Well, second best behind Jared. Except he hasn’t been demonstrating that very well lately.
“That’s why we need to get them talking. We need to get them in same place…”
~*~
“Come on, Jay. Come out with us!”
“Please?” Sophia asks, batting her eyelashes.
“Yeah come on man. It’ll be fun,” Chad adds in.
“Come on, Jay, you haven’t been out in ages! You need to get out of this house! Come on. Just for one hour and then, if you’re not having fun, we’ll let you leave,” Sandy pleads, taking hold of Jared’s hand.
“Okay, fine,” Jared says on a sigh. He knows that he’s not going to get the quiet night in that he’d been hoping for. His friends are just going to keep badgering him until he gives in and it’ll just save a whole lot of grief to just give in early. Hopefully this way he’ll be able to be in bed in about two hours.
“Yay!” Sandy and Sophia squeal, going over to hug Jared. They then take a hand each and lead him to the door, Chad trailing behind grabbing Jared’s coat for him on the way out.
~*~
The car pulls up to the side of an apartment building. Jared, sitting in the front seat, looks to his side at Sandy, a question on his face.
“We said we’d drop by and pick up Misha,” Sandy says in explanation.
Jared nods and gets out the car with Sandy, Sophia and Chad to go into the apartment building.
As long as he’s already out, Jared’s looking forward to seeing Misha. It’s been a while since he’s seen his friend and Misha is always fun to be around. Maybe Sandy had a point about going out making him feel better. He won’t tell her that though. He’d never hear the end of it.
“Jared!” Misha greets when he flings open his apartment door. “Come on in.”
“Thanks, man. It’s good to see you,” Jared trails off when he walks into the living room to see Jensen, Chris and Steve sitting on the sofa.
“Jared,” Jensen says, looking just as surprised to see Jared as Jared is to see him.
Jared turns around to fix Sandy with a glare. He just knows that she has something to do with this. And from the look on her face he can tell that he was right with that assumption. When Jared turns around again, he can see Jensen giving Chris a similar glare to the one he gave Sandy.
“Look,” Sandy starts, “you two need to start talking to each other. You are both miserable without one another, and we’re sick of it.” Sandy indicates around the room where the rest of their friends are nodding their heads in agreement. “So we’re going to leave you two in here to talk about everything and we’re not letting you leave until you’ve cleared everything up between you two.”
All of their friends walk out of the room, leaving Jared and Jensen alone for the first time in weeks.
“I’m sorry about this. I didn’t know they were going to do this,” Jensen starts.
“How’d they get you here?”
“Chris said he and Steve had a gig and I had come and help them. You?”
“Well, you know Sandy. She and Sophia wouldn’t stop asking until I agreed to come out so I just relented.”
Jensen smiles at that. “Yeah, they are quite persistent,” Jensen supplies with a slight chuckle.
After that, they fall into a tense silence.
Jensen’s the one to break it.
“How’ve you been?” he asks, looking up at his estranged husband.
“I’m okay.”
“Yeah? ‘Cause I’ve been a bit of a mess,” Jensen says with a rueful smile.
Jared looks up at that, a little startled. He wasn’t expecting Jensen to say that. After all, he was the one that left.
“What? Why?”
Jensen lets out a noise of disbelief. “Why? Jared it wasn’t easy for me. And I didn’t want to leave. Believe me, it was the last thing I wanted to do. But I just didn’t know what else to do.”
“What do you mean?”
Jensen sighs. “Jared you’ve been with drawing from me. You won’t talk to me anymore, you barely look at me. I just didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to break you out of it. And leaving probably wasn’t the best thing I could’ve done, but it was just getting so hard living with you when you were trying to distance yourself from me. It hurt. I mean, I thought I was supposed to be the person that you came to when something was troubling you, but it seemed like you were blocking me out.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you felt that way.”
Jensen looks at Jared incredulously. “Can you please just tell me why? Why you’ve been withdrawing from me? If you don’t want to be with me anymore, just tell me.”
“What?” Jared looks up at that. He really hadn’t expecting that. “I thought you didn’t want to be with me.”
“Why would you think that?” Jensen asks, confused.
“Because I couldn’t give you any children,” Jared says, his voice small.
“No, Jared. I want kids, yes, but I’d rather be with you. If it meant I could be with you, I’d rather not have any children. You are the most important thing in the world to me,” Jensen says, going over to Jared and cupping his cheek, “I love you so much. And I never want to be without you.”
“I love you, too,” Jared says, leaning into Jensen’s touch.
Jensen presses a chaste kiss to Jared’s lips. It wasn’t a passionate kiss, but it spoke of love.
“Can you believe that I’m not gonna leave you if we don’t have kids?”
“Yeah,” Jared says quietly into the space between them.
“Are you gonna stop distancing yourself from me and actually talk to me if something is bothering you?”
“Mhmm.”
“Good. Then, can I come home now? Chris does not have the most comfortable sofa.”
“Yeah,” Jared says with a slight chuckle. “I’d love it if you came back home with me.”
Jared wraps his arms around Jensen’s neck, and Jensen hold Jared close to him in a tight hug.
~*~
When Jared and Jensen come out from Misha’ s living room, all of their friends turn to them, and when they see that Jared and Jensen are holding hands, they all break out into huge grins, with slightly smug looks on their faces.
“We’re gonna head home now. Chris, is it okay for me to come by for my things in the morning?”
“Yeah, man, ‘course. Just get your boy home,” Chris answers with a knowing smile.
Jensen rolls his eyes and Jared and Jensen say goodbye to their friends, receiving hugs from all of them, before leaving to go back home. Their home. Together.
~*~
A few hours later, Jensen is sitting back on the couch with Jared curled up against his side. They’ve been talking a lot the last few hours. About everything, really. They’ve talked about their insecurities and they can help each other and make sure that this never happens again.
“Okay, so, now that we’re talking, and I’m confiding in you, I have something I need to tell you.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” Jensen asks, trying not to worry. Jared is biting his bottom lip and is looking unsure, which is making Jensen concerned.
“Yeah. I, uh, I didn’t know how to tell you… but, um, I’m pregnant.”
Jensen’s face splits in a megawatt grin, and he crushes Jared in a hug, pressing his lips to his husband’s.
“When did you find out? Do you know how far along you are?”
“I found out a couple weeks ago. The doctor says I’m about nine weeks.”
“You’ve known a couple weeks? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jensen doesn’t ask in an accusatory tone, he just wants to know.
“I didn’t know how. I know I should have. I was scared. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, baby. I love you. So much.”
“I love you, too.”
Jared curls back up against Jensen after having pressed a kiss to Jensen’s lips, Jensen’s hand moving down to Jared’s, for the moment, still flat stomach.
~*~
Epilogue
The last few months haven’t been easy. They’ve still had their issues but instead of bottling it all up they’ve been talking to each other and making sure that their issues don’t become unmanageable.
Jensen’s been happy to see that Jared has been more and more like his old self as the days pass, and he’s enjoyed being pregnant.
Jensen sits on the edge of the bed, one arm curled around Jared, the other resting gently on the little bundle in his arms.
Right now, Jared looks exhausted, but he’s just glowing with happiness and pride. After twenty-one hours of labour he’s finally holding his little baby in his arms and he couldn’t be happier.
It wasn’t easy getting where they are now, but looking down at his little baby, Jensen just knows that it was all worth it.
The End
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG
Word count: 3,731
Disclaimer: Alas, I own nothing. If I owned them, I wouldn't be here.
Warning: MPREG. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Okay so this is a prompt I filled anonymously at
spn_hardcore a while back. And, well, I want all my stories in one place so now I'm posting this in my journal.
The Prompt: Jared and Jensen have been trying to have a baby for three years with no success. Eventually, Jensen leaves Jared, who believes it's his own fault they can't have kids. However, a few weeks later Jared learns he's finally pregnant, but he's afraid to tell his husband. Someone knocks some sense into both of them.
A/N: The title comes from the song of the same title, originally by Rose Royce, and covered by various others. I was really struggling to find a title for this and I could kind of make the lyrics fit the story so I was like "eh. It'll do..."
Jared sits on edge of the tub, anxiously waiting for the 2 minutes to be up. It’s not his first time taking a pregnancy test. Hell, it’s not even the tenth. He and Jensen having been trying to conceive for about two years now, but every time he takes the test it comes back negative.
Every time the little white stick only has one line on it and Jared feels himself break just a little more every time. He knows that this is putting a strain on his and Jensen’s relationship. Jensen really wants kids. Jared’s known that since the beginning. And he wants kids too, he does. But he feels like he’s letting Jensen down with every negative test.
After a while he stopped telling Jensen that he was taking the tests. He just couldn’t stand to see the look of disappointment that crossed Jensen’s face when it came back negative.
The clock on his phone beeps. The 2 minutes are up.
Jared gets up and walks over the counter, unconsciously holding his breath as he picks up the test. He lets out in out in a deep, shuddering exhale.
Negative. Again.
~*~
Jared throws yet another test in the trash.
Three years. Three years and he’s still not pregnant. By this point Jared has lost count of the amount of tests he’s taken.
He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. Why can’t he get pregnant? Why can’t he give Jensen this?
Jared knows that he’s acting more and more withdrawn with every test he takes. He can’t help it. He just really wants for once for there to be two lines instead of just the one. He wants to give Jensen a baby so badly but he just can’t. Jensen deserves to be with someone who can give him what he wants, and what he wants is a baby.
He guesses that if he just distances himself emotionally it won’t hurt as much when Jensen does leave. And he knows he will.
One month later he was proved right.
~*~
Jensen packs his bags, getting ready to leave.
He doesn’t want to, but over the last year or so Jared has been getting more and more distant to the point where nowadays it’s like living with a complete stranger. Jared barely talks to him, doesn’t seem to want to look Jensen in the eyes, and he’s just generally not the bubbly, outgoing man that he married.
Jensen’s not a fool. He knows that this probably has something to do with the fact that they’ve been unable to conceive. It breaks his heart that he may not have any children, but what he can’t seem to make Jared understand is that he would rather have no children at all if it meant having Jared. He wants kids with Jared and he just wouldn’t be happy with anyone else, even if it meant having kids.
Jensen thinks that Jared believes it’s his fault that they can’t conceive. That would explain his withdrawal, he supposes. Jensen has tried to suggest them going to a fertility doctor but Jared rebuffs him every time he tries to broach the subject. He guesses it has something to do with not wanting to be told definitively that you can’t have children. Jensen gets that. He feels like that himself. He’s so scared that he’s the one with the problem, and even though he’s dying to know, it would break his heart to hear it; to know that he’s letting Jared down.
However, no matter how hard he tries, Jared just keeps withdrawing into this shell that Jensen just can’t get him to break out of. He’s tried everything, but he doesn’t know how to help his husband. It’s hard living with this ghost of a man that used to be his husband. It’s hard and it’s breaking his heart.
So that’s why he’s leaving. He really doesn’t want to; he loves Jared with all his heart, but he can’t help him and it’s too hard to be around him.
~*~
Jared doesn’t blame Jensen for leaving. Hell if he were Jensen, he would have left a long time ago. Well, maybe not. But still… He doesn’t blame Jensen. All Jensen wants is children so why stay with someone who can’t give you that?
It hurts. He won’t deny that. It hurts not being with Jensen. But it hurt more being with him and knowing he couldn’t make him happy. At least now Jensen can be with someone who can give him the children that he so desperately wants.
It’s better this way.
~*~
Jared’s been feeling nauseous for about a week now. The last couple of days have seen him up at the crack of dawn legging it for the bathroom before he vomits. The nausea won’t seem to give him a break, and he’s getting sick of it. Pun not intended.
It’s been nearly a month since Jensen left. He hasn’t seen or spoken to him. He knows he’s staying with Chris though; mainly because Chris and Steve came by to pick up a few of Jensen’s things.
Jared has been trying to avoid his own friends; he doesn’t want their sympathy. He doesn’t need it. He’s fine. Jensen can be happy now. He can go find himself a new guy or girl and have all those babies that he wants.
He’s totally fine with that. Jared hopes that if he thinks it enough times, it might actually come true.
Jared suddenly surges from the couch and makes it to the bathroom just in time to lose his meagre breakfast.
~*~
The next day, Jared sits on the sofa staring at the paper bag that he got from the drug store on his way home. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up just to have them trampled on. Again. Especially with everything that’s been going on.
Jared takes a deep breath, steels himself, picks up the bag and goes into the bathroom.
Five minutes later he’s staring at 2 blues lines on a little white stick.
~*~
Jared can’t believe it. He’s staring at the pregnancy test in his hands and there are two blue lines. Two. Not one. Two!
After three years of trying, when Jensen has finally given up on him, THAT’s when the test comes back positive? Seriously?
Un-freaking-believable.
Jared doesn’t know what to do. This is all he’s wanted for three years and now that it’s finally happened it’s nothing like he thought it would be. For one, he though Jensen would be sitting right there next to him.
He should probably call Jensen. He knows that he should call Jensen. He has a right to know that after all these years he’s finally going to become a father. But he just… can’t.
~*~
Jared heaves himself up from the couch to answer the door. At first he’d hoped that whoever it was would just go away, but after 10 minutes of knocking he figured he should probably see who it is.
He opens the door to find Sandy, hand poised for another round of knocking.
“Jared! It’s about time!” Sandy exclaims.
Jared walks back into the living room, leaving the door open for Sandy to follow. He would try to get her to leave if he thought it would do any good. But he knows his friend and he knows that she won’t be leaving until she’s satisfied and she’s done what she’s come here for.
“Jared, you’ve been ignoring all my phone calls!” complains Sandy as she takes a seat next to Jared on the couch.
“No, I haven’t,” Jared lies but he can’t he doesn’t look her in the eyes as he does.
Sandy gives Jared a sceptical look. “Yes, you have. And not just mine. I know Chad and Sophia haven’t been able to get hold of you either. You’ve been avoiding us. When was the last time you even left the house? And going to work doesn’t count!”
Jared snaps his mouth shut at Sandy’s last remark. He looks up at her rather sheepishly.
Sandy’s tone changes to a more concerned tone when she asks, “What’s going on? I know you haven’t gone out much since Jensen left but at least you’d pick up the phone occasionally. But these last few weeks you haven’t even done that. Something must’ve happened. So, what’s going on?”
Jared sighs, resigned. He knows that Sandy is going to keep hounding him until he tells her. And she’s right. Ever since he found out that he was pregnant he has been really withdrawn. Even more so than he was before.
“I’m pregnant,” Jared says on a sigh.
Sandy just stares at him for a minute with her mouth hanging slightly open.
“What? How? I mean, when?”
“I found out a few weeks ago. The doctor said I’m about 2 months along now.”
“Have you told Jensen?”
“No,” Jared sighs. “I know I should, but I just… I don’t know what to say. And I don’t know what he’ll say. I’m scared,” Jared says, turning to look at Sandy with pleading eyes. “I mean, what if he doesn’t come back? Or worse, what if only comes back for the baby? I don’t think I could live like that. And what if he thinks I’m only making it up to make him come back?”
“Honey, Jensen won’t think that. Jensen knows you. He knows you would never do something like that.”
“But that’s the whole reason he left. He wanted kids and I wasn’t delivering. What’s he going to think if I suddenly up and say I’m pregnant a month and half after he left?”
“I’m sure that’s not the reason he left. Jensen wouldn’t do something like that. Jensen loves you. He wouldn’t leave just because you guys haven’t been able to have kids yet.”
“Well that is the reason he left,” Jared snaps at her. Sandy just stares at him with a dubious look on her face. “Look,” Jared sighs, “I’m getting kind of tired. I’ll call you in the morning.”
Sandy gets up from the couch, knowing when she’s been dismissed. “Okay. Fine. But you’d better call me.” With that Sandy lets herself out the front door.
~*~
Sandy knows that Jared probably isn’t going to call her. She also knows that he isn’t likely to call Jensen any time soon to tell him. Not of his own accord anyway. She knows that Jared and Jensen still love each other. They love each other just as much today as they did on their wedding day.
She’s going to have to do some meddling. She has to if she wants to get them back together again. She also knows that she can’t do it on her own. Which means that she has to do something that she would really rather not do; she’s going to have to call Chris.
~*~
Sandy and Chris have never really gotten along; Sandy doesn’t know why, they just haven’t. She thinks he’s a bit of an ass. But then again, she’s friends with Chad who’s a total douche, so maybe that’s not the reason.
If she could, Sandy would avoid Chris as much as possible. Obviously they’re quite often in the same place, their best friends being married and all, but when they are they tend to stay out of each other’s way. It’s a mutual dislike. But this concerns Jared and Jensen, and if it gets them talking to each other, finally communicating, then it is totally worth having to deal with Chris.
“Yeah?” Chris’ rough voice comes from the other side of the phone line.
“Chris? It’s Sandy.”
“Sandy? McCoy? Why are you calling me? Is Jared okay?”
Sandy is somewhat pleased to hear a note of concern in Chris’ voice. He may be an ass but at least he cares about his friends.
“No, not really,” Sandy replies. “He hasn’t been okay for a while. Neither has Jensen. That’s why I’m calling. I need your help to get them back together.”
Chris lets out a quick bark of laughter. “You need my help? That’s rich, coming from you.”
“Chris, don’t be an ass about this,” Sandy says exasperatedly. “Do you want them back together or not?”
“Well, yeah, of course I want them back together; Jensen’s been miserable. It’s a real downer. I’m just enjoyin’ you comin’ to me for help.”
“Are you going to help or not, Christian?”
“I dunno. Are ya gonna ask nicely?”
Sandy sighs. “Christian. Will you please help get Jared and Jensen back together?” Sandy asks in her sweetest voice.
“I’ll consider it.”
“Christian!” Sandy snaps.
“Alright, alright! I’ll help. Jeeze. So what’s the plan?”
“We need to get them talking. And Jared refuses to call Jensen. He’s convinced that the only reason Jensen left is because they hadn’t been able to conceive.”
“Well that’s not true,” Chris cuts in. “Jen would never do that. He loves Jared. He’d never leave because they couldn’t have kids.”
Sandy lets out a breath she hadn’t realised she’s been holding. She knew that couldn’t have been the reason Jensen left. She’s just glad to have it confirmed. Especially by the person who knows Jensen best. Well, second best behind Jared. Except he hasn’t been demonstrating that very well lately.
“That’s why we need to get them talking. We need to get them in same place…”
~*~
“Come on, Jay. Come out with us!”
“Please?” Sophia asks, batting her eyelashes.
“Yeah come on man. It’ll be fun,” Chad adds in.
“Come on, Jay, you haven’t been out in ages! You need to get out of this house! Come on. Just for one hour and then, if you’re not having fun, we’ll let you leave,” Sandy pleads, taking hold of Jared’s hand.
“Okay, fine,” Jared says on a sigh. He knows that he’s not going to get the quiet night in that he’d been hoping for. His friends are just going to keep badgering him until he gives in and it’ll just save a whole lot of grief to just give in early. Hopefully this way he’ll be able to be in bed in about two hours.
“Yay!” Sandy and Sophia squeal, going over to hug Jared. They then take a hand each and lead him to the door, Chad trailing behind grabbing Jared’s coat for him on the way out.
~*~
The car pulls up to the side of an apartment building. Jared, sitting in the front seat, looks to his side at Sandy, a question on his face.
“We said we’d drop by and pick up Misha,” Sandy says in explanation.
Jared nods and gets out the car with Sandy, Sophia and Chad to go into the apartment building.
As long as he’s already out, Jared’s looking forward to seeing Misha. It’s been a while since he’s seen his friend and Misha is always fun to be around. Maybe Sandy had a point about going out making him feel better. He won’t tell her that though. He’d never hear the end of it.
“Jared!” Misha greets when he flings open his apartment door. “Come on in.”
“Thanks, man. It’s good to see you,” Jared trails off when he walks into the living room to see Jensen, Chris and Steve sitting on the sofa.
“Jared,” Jensen says, looking just as surprised to see Jared as Jared is to see him.
Jared turns around to fix Sandy with a glare. He just knows that she has something to do with this. And from the look on her face he can tell that he was right with that assumption. When Jared turns around again, he can see Jensen giving Chris a similar glare to the one he gave Sandy.
“Look,” Sandy starts, “you two need to start talking to each other. You are both miserable without one another, and we’re sick of it.” Sandy indicates around the room where the rest of their friends are nodding their heads in agreement. “So we’re going to leave you two in here to talk about everything and we’re not letting you leave until you’ve cleared everything up between you two.”
All of their friends walk out of the room, leaving Jared and Jensen alone for the first time in weeks.
“I’m sorry about this. I didn’t know they were going to do this,” Jensen starts.
“How’d they get you here?”
“Chris said he and Steve had a gig and I had come and help them. You?”
“Well, you know Sandy. She and Sophia wouldn’t stop asking until I agreed to come out so I just relented.”
Jensen smiles at that. “Yeah, they are quite persistent,” Jensen supplies with a slight chuckle.
After that, they fall into a tense silence.
Jensen’s the one to break it.
“How’ve you been?” he asks, looking up at his estranged husband.
“I’m okay.”
“Yeah? ‘Cause I’ve been a bit of a mess,” Jensen says with a rueful smile.
Jared looks up at that, a little startled. He wasn’t expecting Jensen to say that. After all, he was the one that left.
“What? Why?”
Jensen lets out a noise of disbelief. “Why? Jared it wasn’t easy for me. And I didn’t want to leave. Believe me, it was the last thing I wanted to do. But I just didn’t know what else to do.”
“What do you mean?”
Jensen sighs. “Jared you’ve been with drawing from me. You won’t talk to me anymore, you barely look at me. I just didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to break you out of it. And leaving probably wasn’t the best thing I could’ve done, but it was just getting so hard living with you when you were trying to distance yourself from me. It hurt. I mean, I thought I was supposed to be the person that you came to when something was troubling you, but it seemed like you were blocking me out.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you felt that way.”
Jensen looks at Jared incredulously. “Can you please just tell me why? Why you’ve been withdrawing from me? If you don’t want to be with me anymore, just tell me.”
“What?” Jared looks up at that. He really hadn’t expecting that. “I thought you didn’t want to be with me.”
“Why would you think that?” Jensen asks, confused.
“Because I couldn’t give you any children,” Jared says, his voice small.
“No, Jared. I want kids, yes, but I’d rather be with you. If it meant I could be with you, I’d rather not have any children. You are the most important thing in the world to me,” Jensen says, going over to Jared and cupping his cheek, “I love you so much. And I never want to be without you.”
“I love you, too,” Jared says, leaning into Jensen’s touch.
Jensen presses a chaste kiss to Jared’s lips. It wasn’t a passionate kiss, but it spoke of love.
“Can you believe that I’m not gonna leave you if we don’t have kids?”
“Yeah,” Jared says quietly into the space between them.
“Are you gonna stop distancing yourself from me and actually talk to me if something is bothering you?”
“Mhmm.”
“Good. Then, can I come home now? Chris does not have the most comfortable sofa.”
“Yeah,” Jared says with a slight chuckle. “I’d love it if you came back home with me.”
Jared wraps his arms around Jensen’s neck, and Jensen hold Jared close to him in a tight hug.
~*~
When Jared and Jensen come out from Misha’ s living room, all of their friends turn to them, and when they see that Jared and Jensen are holding hands, they all break out into huge grins, with slightly smug looks on their faces.
“We’re gonna head home now. Chris, is it okay for me to come by for my things in the morning?”
“Yeah, man, ‘course. Just get your boy home,” Chris answers with a knowing smile.
Jensen rolls his eyes and Jared and Jensen say goodbye to their friends, receiving hugs from all of them, before leaving to go back home. Their home. Together.
~*~
A few hours later, Jensen is sitting back on the couch with Jared curled up against his side. They’ve been talking a lot the last few hours. About everything, really. They’ve talked about their insecurities and they can help each other and make sure that this never happens again.
“Okay, so, now that we’re talking, and I’m confiding in you, I have something I need to tell you.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” Jensen asks, trying not to worry. Jared is biting his bottom lip and is looking unsure, which is making Jensen concerned.
“Yeah. I, uh, I didn’t know how to tell you… but, um, I’m pregnant.”
Jensen’s face splits in a megawatt grin, and he crushes Jared in a hug, pressing his lips to his husband’s.
“When did you find out? Do you know how far along you are?”
“I found out a couple weeks ago. The doctor says I’m about nine weeks.”
“You’ve known a couple weeks? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jensen doesn’t ask in an accusatory tone, he just wants to know.
“I didn’t know how. I know I should have. I was scared. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, baby. I love you. So much.”
“I love you, too.”
Jared curls back up against Jensen after having pressed a kiss to Jensen’s lips, Jensen’s hand moving down to Jared’s, for the moment, still flat stomach.
~*~
Epilogue
The last few months haven’t been easy. They’ve still had their issues but instead of bottling it all up they’ve been talking to each other and making sure that their issues don’t become unmanageable.
Jensen’s been happy to see that Jared has been more and more like his old self as the days pass, and he’s enjoyed being pregnant.
Jensen sits on the edge of the bed, one arm curled around Jared, the other resting gently on the little bundle in his arms.
Right now, Jared looks exhausted, but he’s just glowing with happiness and pride. After twenty-one hours of labour he’s finally holding his little baby in his arms and he couldn’t be happier.
It wasn’t easy getting where they are now, but looking down at his little baby, Jensen just knows that it was all worth it.
The End