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1. List 10 things you want to say to 10 DIFFERENT people but know you never will.
2. Don't say who they are.
3. Never discuss it again.
1. I spend a lot of time believing that you really are the best thing that ever happened to me. You taught me so much, about myself, about the world, and I'll never forget that. Even though you broke my heart, I don't regret a second of having known you [except for maybe how much time I spent letting you get the best of me.] I'm a completely different person because of you, and I will always be grateful for that. I'm fairly certain you saved my life.
2. I don't even know what I want to say to you. We had some of the best times of my life. You made me feel beautiful, accepted, and worthy of happiness. You made me feel loved. I don't know if anything you said was even true anymore, but I'd like to think that it was. I know that we have to be apart now, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you that's been unfair. And I do trust you. I'm just a little confused about things.
3. I wish I could tell you everything I feel toward you. You're one of my best friends, and I feel like I can tell you anything. But I wish you could tell me things. I feel like I don't know anything about you. And lately there are a few things you've been doing that haven't really matched up to things you've said to me. I think you focus too much on what people think of you. I think you care too much about yourself. I think you treat people a certain way because you know that, if you do, they'll treat you a certain way. And while that's not necessarily a bad thing, it's not a quality I admire in you. You shouldn't do some of the things you do, and it drives me crazy. It's probably jealousy. I don't even know. I think you're far too closed up and I wish you would talk to me. Or talk to anybody for that matter. I worry about you. And even though you're one of the coolest people I've met in high school, I think that we're all being a little bit tricked.
4. What can I even say about you? You're the best friend I have ever had, and even though we have our dumb little arguments, I wouldn't change a second of our friendship. You're not even just a friend to me anymore. You're an extension of myself. I don't know where I would be if I never met you. I wouldn't be the same person. That scares me. Your influence over my life scares me, to be honest. You matter too much to me. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
5. I'm so sorry for the way I treated you. I wasn't being a good friend. I was selfish. I was stupid. I wish things could go back to the way they were, but I know they can't. Some of the best memories of my life were with you. You were one of my best friends. I hope we can start hanging out more again. I wish I was more able to see how amazing you were when we were better friends. I treated you like shit, and I can't blame you for getting upset. I just hope you can understand and forgive me.
6. I find it hard to have a great friend when you seem unable to talk about anything serious for more than three seconds. You never are willing to admit you're wrong. You claim to never be upset. I hate that. It's inhuman. Still, I think you're an amazing person. I love hanging out with you. You make me feel comfortable and good about myself. I love that you're so upbeat. I just wish you could be a little more honest... with me and with yourself. You scare me too. And I'm sorry that I can't feel the way you want me to feel. If it's any consolation, I wish I could feel that way too. It just so happens that I don't.
7. I don't know why our friendship is falling apart! I still think you're just as great as ever. I need to work on making time for people in my life. I'm so busy half the time, that the other half I just want to sit at home in my pajamas and watch tv. It's stupid. And we REALLY need to get back to where we were. You're one of the few friends I have who I honestly value as much as I should. I don't want to leave you after high school!
8. You're one of the friendliest people I've ever met. You make me feel so welcome and so lovely and so wonderful. You are an amazing person and you must not let ANYBODY ever tell you differently. I'm so happy that things are going well for you these days. I couldn't imagine a person more deserving of happiness. And you listen to all my random whining and crap, and for that I am ETERNALLY grateful to you. You're wonderfullllll!
9. You scare me sometimes. You're so perfectly happy and friendly that it's almost unnatural. I don't know if you're hiding something, or if you're in denial or what. And don't get me wrong I love that you're so cheery! It makes everybody around you feel great. It's just sometimes I wonder if you feel like you have to be. And I want to tell you that you don't. If you're sad, then be sad. If you're angry, then be angry. But if you're honestly not then good for you! I only wish we could all be as open and wonderful as you. You're one of the greatest people I've ever met. I'm so glad you came into my life.
10. I'm not sorry for anything. You being whiny and clingy and obsessive is not my fault. If you want to go and cry in a corner because you feel excluded every so often then go ahead. That's not my problem and I'm not going to apologize. And I'm not sorry for having better relationships with other people than with you. I like him more than you. And I mean, as a person. We just get along better. Don't try to tell me there aren't people who you get along with better than me. Because that's bullshit. Just shut the fuck up and get over yourself.
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2. Don't say who they are.
3. Never discuss it again.
1. I spend a lot of time believing that you really are the best thing that ever happened to me. You taught me so much, about myself, about the world, and I'll never forget that. Even though you broke my heart, I don't regret a second of having known you [except for maybe how much time I spent letting you get the best of me.] I'm a completely different person because of you, and I will always be grateful for that. I'm fairly certain you saved my life.
2. I don't even know what I want to say to you. We had some of the best times of my life. You made me feel beautiful, accepted, and worthy of happiness. You made me feel loved. I don't know if anything you said was even true anymore, but I'd like to think that it was. I know that we have to be apart now, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you that's been unfair. And I do trust you. I'm just a little confused about things.
3. I wish I could tell you everything I feel toward you. You're one of my best friends, and I feel like I can tell you anything. But I wish you could tell me things. I feel like I don't know anything about you. And lately there are a few things you've been doing that haven't really matched up to things you've said to me. I think you focus too much on what people think of you. I think you care too much about yourself. I think you treat people a certain way because you know that, if you do, they'll treat you a certain way. And while that's not necessarily a bad thing, it's not a quality I admire in you. You shouldn't do some of the things you do, and it drives me crazy. It's probably jealousy. I don't even know. I think you're far too closed up and I wish you would talk to me. Or talk to anybody for that matter. I worry about you. And even though you're one of the coolest people I've met in high school, I think that we're all being a little bit tricked.
4. What can I even say about you? You're the best friend I have ever had, and even though we have our dumb little arguments, I wouldn't change a second of our friendship. You're not even just a friend to me anymore. You're an extension of myself. I don't know where I would be if I never met you. I wouldn't be the same person. That scares me. Your influence over my life scares me, to be honest. You matter too much to me. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
5. I'm so sorry for the way I treated you. I wasn't being a good friend. I was selfish. I was stupid. I wish things could go back to the way they were, but I know they can't. Some of the best memories of my life were with you. You were one of my best friends. I hope we can start hanging out more again. I wish I was more able to see how amazing you were when we were better friends. I treated you like shit, and I can't blame you for getting upset. I just hope you can understand and forgive me.
6. I find it hard to have a great friend when you seem unable to talk about anything serious for more than three seconds. You never are willing to admit you're wrong. You claim to never be upset. I hate that. It's inhuman. Still, I think you're an amazing person. I love hanging out with you. You make me feel comfortable and good about myself. I love that you're so upbeat. I just wish you could be a little more honest... with me and with yourself. You scare me too. And I'm sorry that I can't feel the way you want me to feel. If it's any consolation, I wish I could feel that way too. It just so happens that I don't.
7. I don't know why our friendship is falling apart! I still think you're just as great as ever. I need to work on making time for people in my life. I'm so busy half the time, that the other half I just want to sit at home in my pajamas and watch tv. It's stupid. And we REALLY need to get back to where we were. You're one of the few friends I have who I honestly value as much as I should. I don't want to leave you after high school!
8. You're one of the friendliest people I've ever met. You make me feel so welcome and so lovely and so wonderful. You are an amazing person and you must not let ANYBODY ever tell you differently. I'm so happy that things are going well for you these days. I couldn't imagine a person more deserving of happiness. And you listen to all my random whining and crap, and for that I am ETERNALLY grateful to you. You're wonderfullllll!
9. You scare me sometimes. You're so perfectly happy and friendly that it's almost unnatural. I don't know if you're hiding something, or if you're in denial or what. And don't get me wrong I love that you're so cheery! It makes everybody around you feel great. It's just sometimes I wonder if you feel like you have to be. And I want to tell you that you don't. If you're sad, then be sad. If you're angry, then be angry. But if you're honestly not then good for you! I only wish we could all be as open and wonderful as you. You're one of the greatest people I've ever met. I'm so glad you came into my life.
10. I'm not sorry for anything. You being whiny and clingy and obsessive is not my fault. If you want to go and cry in a corner because you feel excluded every so often then go ahead. That's not my problem and I'm not going to apologize. And I'm not sorry for having better relationships with other people than with you. I like him more than you. And I mean, as a person. We just get along better. Don't try to tell me there aren't people who you get along with better than me. Because that's bullshit. Just shut the fuck up and get over yourself.
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