Fic: The Inevitable Slide: Brendon/Ryan, Brendon/Ryan/Keltie: NC17
The Inevitable Slide
Author: Jenn (samedifference_)
Pairing: Panic at the Disco, Brendon/Ryan, Brendon/Ryan/Keltie
Rating: NC17, for explicit m/m & m/f sex
Warnings: threesome, Brendon’s filthy mouth, voyeurism
Word Count: 7,979
Disclaimer: fiction from start to finish, still not mine.
Notes: Can you tell that this fic has taken over my life recently? I know my flist can. For more evidence see: my lj header.
Beta’d by the lovely x_rivulet. Also thanks to choclitbunny for unintentionally forcing me to get this together in my head. My flist is full of lovely people that either encouraged this madness or told me they would read it regardless of the girlfriend thing, so I blame them. Lyrics stolen from Snow Patrol’s Chocolate.
I found out quickly that feedback is like crack for writers. It really makes this worth sharing with you all, so leave some! ♥
Summary: “Keltie wants to watch us fuck,” Ryan says evenly, like it’s a perfectly rational thing to throw out there and discuss.
***
Goodness knows I saw it coming
Or at least I'll claim I did
But in truth I'm lost for words
***
“I think I want to watch,” Keltie says slowly, carefully, while they’re curled around each other in the bus lounge, a movie playing in the background. It takes a second, but Ryan pulls away a bit so he can look at her, one eyebrow raised slightly but face otherwise impassive.
“Come on, Ryan. Don’t act like it’s some huge secret, when it’s clearly not.” Keltie pokes him in the side. “I was there last night, remember? The band meeting about the ‘no fucking on the bus’ rule, and the way you two keep breaking it, and how Spencer’s sick of walking in on blow jobs and then having to wash his eyes out with bleach.”
“Keltie, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ryan smiles.
“Look, okay. This break has been good for us. This is what we needed. Plus, it’s not like I’ve been sitting home at night crying over you, so I don’t expect that from you either.” She smiles.
“What? I’ll kick his ass.” Ryan gives her pretend shock. He knows exactly what she’s talking about.
“Shut up, Ryan.” Keltie swats his arm. “It was all very tragic, if you recall.” Ryan grunts in acknowledgement. Yeah, Keltie thinks, the bastard was married.
“I still want to kick that douche bag’s ass,” Ryan mumbles. Three AM phone calls are never his favorites, especially not when she’s being emotional and incoherent about some guy that isn’t him.
Keltie kisses his cheek appreciatively and lays her head back on his shoulder. “Besides, you already know I would rather you have a thing with Brendon than some skanky scene queen groupie.”
“I like the way you rationalize things, baby,” Ryan says, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Works in my favor, at least.”
“Is that a yes then?”
Ryan sighs and slowly laces their fingers together, a promise.
He carefully says, “I love you, you know. I never stopped.”
Keltie’s heart beats a bit faster. Ryan doesn’t say it much, so when he does say it, she knows he means it.
“I just hope you’re not trying to prove anything by asking for this, because it’s okay if you’re still not, you know, okay with Brendon and I- how we’re- doing whatever the fuck it is we’re doing.” Ryan frowns.
She squeezes his hand. “We’ve talked about this, Ryan.” She is okay with the Ryan and Brendon thing. Mostly. “I just, I don’t know okay? I guess I want to know how you are with each other, see how you are with someone who’s not me. Can’t it just be curiosity?”
Ryan rolls his eyes. Clearly not, but Keltie can’t really force herself to tell him the other reason, the one about it helping her move on by convincing herself that this thing between them is bigger than they admit to everyone, including themselves. Bigger than what her and Ryan have, and that’s okay. She tells herself that’s okay because she wants Ryan to have that, even if it isn’t with her.
And Ryan is still hers. He says it often enough that Keltie believes it, but she also knows that he was Brendon’s before she even knew who Ryan Ross was, before Keltie knew Brendon was Ryan’s too, and now, now it’s just a little more obvious, a little more visible. This is the part where she convinces herself to let them have that.
It’s not a big deal, she tells herself, don’t make it into something bigger before you know for sure.
“Ryan, you’re hot, Brendon’s hot, so the sex is automatically hot.” She shoves his shoulder, tries for a playful approach. “Probably unbelievably hot.” Ryan shoves back with his shoulder, fails at keeping the smile from his face.
“It would actually be more rational if you weren’t okay with this whole thing. You know that right?”
Keltie smiles and nods because it’s true. She knows that. “I love you, and I trust you. So trust me, okay? I want this. You’re they only one I would ever ask to do this for me.” She whispers, “Please. Please do this for me, Ryan.”
Ryan leans in and places a soft kiss across her lips. It isn’t exactly an answer yet, but she’s getting closer.
Then Brendon’s rushing into the lounge, stupid oversized sunglasses covering his face, sweat and sunshine clinging to his skin.
“Dude, Alex just bought this kick ass mandolin from some shop downtown. I’m going and you’re coming with me,” Brendon smiles, all teeth. “Can’t let me go buying shitty instruments, right?” Ryan makes a face at Brendon, one that says he clearly doesn’t buy it. “Okay, okay,” Brendon sighs dramatically. “Really you’re coming because Zack’s being a hard ass and won’t let me go by myself. Happy now?”
Brendon waits, drums his fingers on the door frame impatiently.
Keltie blushes and bites her lip because a sudden and particularly vivid image of Brendon flashes thorough her mind, jeans around his ankles, pressed against the door he’s currently leaning against, Ryan pounding into him from behind, making the most obscene noises as he just takes it, and that would be- Okay, apparently she really does think it would be hot, and she’s deciding if that’s completely bizarre when she looks over and Ryan’s staring at her like he can read her thoughts, knows what she’s thinking about. Oh God.
“Oh what? Am I interrupting the sexy times or something?” Brendon jokes. He has no idea.
“Keltie wants to watch us fuck,” Ryan says evenly, like it’s a perfectly rational thing to throw out there and discuss.
Brendon raises his eyebrows, surprise quickly turning to intrigue. “Huh,” he says thoughtfully.
“He’s in,” Ryan sighs. Convincing Brendon was never going to be the issue, Keltie knew that already.
“What? Oh, you mean like right now?” Brendon goes for the belt buckle on his jeans, completely serious. “I think that store closes in an hour, but that’s still plenty of time, unless-”
Ryan rolls his eyes and gets up from the couch.
“Keep your pants on, Brendon.” Ryan shoves him down the hall in the direction of the bus door.
“But I don’t need pants if we’re fucking, Ryan Ross.”
“Later,” Ryan promises sternly with another shove, then smiles at Keltie over his shoulder.
She smiles back, watches them go, stomach fluttering a bit in anticipation.
Yeah, that’s about the reaction she expected.
From both of them.
***
Later that night, Keltie catches them whispering in an abandoned Hush Sound dressing room right before they go on. Brendon’s sitting on the make-up counter and Ryan’s facing him, standing between his legs. Brendon’s fingers are sweeping through the hair at the back of Ryan’s neck and his face is uncharacteristically calm and intent while he talks. She can’t hear them, but the sight of them huddled together is enough to make her heart speed up, mostly anticipation now, only a tiny bit of residual jealousy clinging, but she pushes that last thing away. It’s petty and silly to keep doing that.
She watches them from the doorway and thinks about how it’s always been like this. She’s always liked watching them be together from a distance, even when her and Ryan were a couple. But, it took Ryan on his knees, Brendon’s cock in his mouth after the show three nights ago for her to actually realize this. She only caught the very end, then Brendon sliding to the floor to push his hands through Ryan’s hair and bring their mouths together gently, soft and deep at the same time, and it was more intimate than she ever expected. It didn’t hit her until then that maybe there’s more going on here than what she thought.
She doesn’t regret it, deciding to take a break. There was still too much living to do, still is, for both of them. She’s living, she is.
And this is Ryan living, Keltie reminds herself. This is what they both decided was best.
“Keltie Colleen! My favorite voyeurist! Come here.” His smile is there again, wide and magnetic, and he beckons her over with wide arms.
She doesn’t hesitate in walking towards them. And maybe it’s weird that Brendon’s still one of her best friends despite the fact that he’s currently involved with the love of her life, but it never felt weird to her. Brendon and Ryan, they never kept this from her, never hid it, or pretended it was something else. Brendon came to her first, told her that he wouldn’t start anything with Ryan if she was against it, said that they both just wanted to try something they’d been inching towards since the beginning. No big deal. Sex without complication, and it felt right to let them have that.
Surprisingly, they’ve settled into an easy friendship since then, with a few unspoken agreements between the three of them. Brendon quietly steps aside when she’s around, lets them be Ryan and Keltie for as long as they need, but Keltie can’t ever seem to keep him away for very long, always drawing him in closer because she wants him there, wants him close.
They never throw it in her face either, or didn’t before she blatantly asked them to. Ryan’s always cautious about outward signs of affection with Brendon regardless of the situation, but he’s getting better at not being afraid to show it around Keltie. And she wants that. It’s important to her that they are genuine when they’re around her even if that means she can see it all clearer, the way they look at each other, the way they’re getting closer to something that’s more than casual.
“Move Ross, make room for my favorite.” Ryan sits on the counter next to Brendon, thighs and hips pressed together. Brendon pulls Keltie to stand between his legs and hugs her tightly to him, and Keltie hugs him back, lets his warmth sink into her. Brendon hugs like he wouldn’t want to be doing anything else in the world. “Where have you been all my life, gorgeous?”
“You saw her five minutes ago.” Ryan kicks Brendon’s ankle as he smiles and leans in to kiss her lightly. Brendon never complains about any affection they show each other, and Keltie’s grateful because she’s never been able to give it up completely, not yet anyway.
“Longest 5 minutes of my life. Hey. Hey.” He pokes Keltie in the side. “Where’s my love? You get to see me naked, don’t I at least get to kiss you first? I’d say that’s pretty fair.” Keltie smiles, combs her fingers through his hair affectionately.
“I’ll settle for an ass grab,” Brendon says, leaning into her touch. Keltie ignores him, places a soft kiss across his mouth instead.
“Thank you,” she whispers against his lips, and it feels like it’s for more than just what he’s currently giving her.
Brendon nods, he gets it.
“Anything. Just ask, okay?” he whispers sincerely, presses his lips more firmly to hers this time.
Brendon makes it easy to love him.
“Christ,” Ryan breathes. Keltie rests her head on Brendon’s shoulder, snuggles into him as she looks over at Ryan.
“Oh damn, Kel,” Brendon laughs, the vibrations from his body making her feel safe, warm. She fists his shirt tighter. “Ryan’s having a few issues over there. We might have to help him out-" Brendon reaches for Ryan’s shirt, pulls him closer.
“She wants a show, Ryan.” Brendon nuzzles along Ryan’s jaw, leaves opened mouthed kisses there.
“No, Brendon.” Ryan tries to dodge Brendon’s mouth, his hands. “Later. We have a show in an hour.”
“I can be quick. You know I can be quick.” God, if Brendon uses that tone anymore, the one where his voice bleeds sex, Keltie might just say yes, lets go right the fuck now. And Ryan wouldn’t say no, he wouldn’t, not if she wanted it too.
“Later,” Ryan warns.
Brendon pouts, lower lip pushed out, but he lets go and Ryan squeezes his thigh before he slides off the counter. Keltie holds onto Brendon though, and he lets her, cards his fingers through her hair and presses his lips to her skin.
***
Keltie gets a text during the concert that night. She’s not sure how Brendon manages to send it between songs during their set, but it’s there all the same.
BIG finale on ur last nite. <3 bden & ry
She closes her eyes, heart racing.
The last night she’s on the road with them is a hotel night. They’re making her wait.
***
Keltie decides she could listen to them argue about chord progressions until she’s old and can’t hear anymore, and even then she’d still be content to just watch.
She pulls at a few blades of grass absently. Unfortunately, this little revelation probably wont help her with that closure thing she was looking for. Life is not fair, not in the slightest. And it’s a funny thing to want really, but she’s surprising herself a lot lately, so this is just something else to add to the list.
She’s only mildly interested in the actual argument this time, but she props her head in her hand anyway so she can watch them. They’re facing each other, acoustics in their laps, sun glinting off steel and shiny wood.
“You know I hate that fucking chord, yet you still want to use it,” Brendon says, pick in his mouth, muffling his words.
“How can you hate specific chords? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. A three chord progression is a three chord progression, you can’t just fuck around with that because you feel like it, Brendon. It’s about the flow of the song,” Ryan says, bending over his guitar to scribble something down in a spiral notebook.
“No. Fuck that. Fuck the flow.” He takes the pick out of his mouth and points it at Ryan. “You’re just doing it to piss me off. And it’s not about the song, it’s about how I feel about the fucking song. I’m not singing something I hate.”
“Douche bag.”
“Asshole.”
“I want to hear it,” Keltie says.
They both pause mid insult and look over at her, probably forgot she was even listening, that she was close enough to hear.
When they’re writing together, they get into this weird headspace where the rest of the world falls away and nothing else matters except the music and each other. It’s amazing to see up close, the way the creativity sparks between them, the way their opposing personalities complement each other, balancing like nothing Keltie’s seen before.
The arguments can be pretty epic too. Keltie learned that about them pretty quickly.
Brendon says, “Okay.”
At the same time, Ryan says, “No.”
They look at each other in surprise and Keltie sighs, turns over on her back, grass prickling at her shoulders and lower back where her tank top is riding up. She squints up at the blue, blue sky. There aren’t any clouds today.
“It’s not done yet,” Ryan says to Brendon. He’s always more likely to be cautious about sharing.
“It doesn’t matter. We don’t seem to be getting anywhere, so maybe she can help,” Brendon argues, always the optimistic one of the two.
Ryan huffs, muttering something under his breath that Keltie can’t hear, but then starts playing softly.
Keltie, she knows next to nothing about music and chords and guitars but she knows what sounds good to her and she knows Brendon and Ryan. Sometimes that’s enough.
She closes her eyes, stretches her arms above her head, lets the soft hum of something beginning seep into her skin, tickle at her toes. The solo part starts soon after, Brendon’s playing now, a swirl of tangled notes that meld and mesh with Ryan’s steady chords. It’s pretty, in a morose and melancholy sort of way, reminds her more of their earlier music, of Tacks, and that throws her off, but it’s a good kind of surprise. It is rough in places, even she can tell, but it’s a good start, a good beginning.
Brendon starts singing softly and Keltie’s heart beats a bit faster. She can feel the emotion of it pouring out of him like it always does, but the feel of the song doesn’t truly hit her until Ryan starts singing too, until they’re both strumming and singing together. Ryan’s an octave below Brendon during the chorus, their voices sliding past each other, layering with the chords.
God, it’s breathtaking.
She decides in that moment that if she got to choose, the last thing she would ever want to hear in her life would be Brendon’s voice and Ryan’s guitar, together. Or maybe she’d choose the other way around, Ryan’s voice and Brendon’s guitar. As long as it was both of them, she thinks she probably wouldn’t care who did what.
She hopes they don’t ask her about the words, because she hears them, sure, but she doesn’t process them. That’s all they are after all, just words. When she listens to something the dancer in her takes over. She wants to feel the emotion in it, wants to hear it with her entire body. That way she gets at something that’s deeper than syllables and rhymes.
Then it stops, too abruptly, unresolved.
“That’s what we’ve got right now,” Brendon says, starts strumming again idly. “We need another verse, and to decide on this fucking chord. Hey, why don’t we just change the key?”
“Because I like the key,” Ryan says.
“Oh what, Ryan? You can attach emotions to keys, but I can’t do that with chords?”
Keltie cuts them off before they can get any further into another argument, “Play it again, just the part you’re arguing about.”
Ryan does. She hears it, the switch, the way it fits, but also how it doesn’t.
“It fits with the song, but I don’t like the chord.” She tilts her head back to smile at them upside down.
“Well that solves exactly nothing,” Ryan says.
“She didn’t like the chord, she agreed with me, didn’t you hear her?”
“She agreed with both of us, dumbass. You only chose to hear the last part.”
Keltie tunes them out again, they still have a good twenty minutes of arguing left in them before they make up, or make out, or both.
She closes her eyes and concentrates on the sun against her skin and the low rumble of their voices tumbling together. And that leads her to thinking about other things, how their voices would sound together during sex. She knows how Ryan is, how he isn’t vocal at all, not unless she catches him off guard, does something he isn’t expecting, but that’s fine though, because she can usually tell when she’s doing something right. She suspects Brendon wouldn’t be able to shut up during sex, mouth running faster than his brain can process. That might be okay too. God, it would be more than okay-
“Does it get you hot? Thinking about it?” Keltie doesn’t open her eyes, but she can feel Brendon hovering over her, shadowing the sun away from her skin, probably with a big stupid knowing grin across his face. She can’t remember if she fell asleep or not, or how he ended up so close. She’s still outside though, can smell the summer air, feel the grass at her shoulders and toes.
“Gets you all hot, that’s why you want to watch. But is it boys fucking in general? Or is it the two of us specifically.” And he sounds genuinely curious.
Keltie whispers, “It’s you. Both of you together.” Apparently, she’s in the mood for confessions.
Brendon laughs softly and she’s glad he finds this all very amusing. It makes it easier for her to convince at least one of them that that’s the entire reason why she wants this, that it has nothing to do with digging herself out of this vortex of ryanrossandbrendonurie.
“That’s pretty fucking kinky you know. Wanting to watch someone you were with, fuck someone else.”
It’s true, she knows that, but she needs this. Needs a giant push, something to make her change the way she loves Ryan Ross. And this, this is what will do it.
Keltie reaches blindly, fingertips connecting with Brendon’s cheek first. She places her palm there and has the sudden urge to tell him that he’s the only person she would ever trust with Ryan, the only one she would give him up completely for. He should know that, she decides. She pulls off his sunglasses gently so she can trace his features with her hand, and Brendon’s still, lets her touch; forehead, brows, eyelids, bridge of his nose, lips.
He kisses the tip of her thumb, and it feels like he understands. For now, that’s enough. Then he settles down beside her, wraps an arm around her middle, and tucks his chin into her shoulder. She holds him close.
“I think,” He hums absently for a second or two. “I think you’re the only girl I’d ever consider proposing to, Keltie Colleen. If I asked you to marry me, would you say yes?”
“I would,” and she’s surprised by how sincere she is. He kisses her cheek softly and pulls her tighter against him, curling around her side, bare toes tickling against her calf.
“I’d buy you anything you wanted, a huge mansion on the French Rivera, sunsets and gardens full of roses and lilies. Ryan would be our pool boy. We would pay him well, but he’d have to work in the nude. It would be part of his contract, of course. Oh and we’d occasionally invite him to have wild threesome sexual adventures with us.” Brendon sighs, “It would be awesome.”
Keltie smiles and laughs easily. She laughs because she wouldn’t mind that scenario, as ridiculous as it sounds, at least they’d be together.
***
She’s falls asleep watching Gossip Girl in the back lounge with Jon that night after the show. Cassie tapes it for him, which should be odd, but knowing Jon, it really isn’t.
Jon’s safe and good at cuddling and she doesn’t necessarily have sexual fantasies about him, and she doesn’t think she’s in love with him, or falling in love with him, and he doesn’t usually ask questions, so it’s a nice break from the crazy her life has become.
She wakes randomly and the television is still glowing, volume on low, bus engine comforting and familiar.
“I don’t think I’m strong enough to walk away,” she whispers into the darkness. It really does feel safer to make confessions in the dark. She isn’t sure Jon’s still awake until he drapes his arm around her shoulder and she sinks into his solid warmth.
“Are you sure that’s what they want?” he whispers back. Keltie sighs. It’s not about that really. It’s about what she needs to do.
Because this isn’t about her. It was never about her.
***
When Keltie gets up later, it’s almost three in the morning. She finds them sleeping in Ryan’s bunk, both in t-shirts and boxers. Brendon has his body pressed firmly to Ryan’s back, hand splayed over his abdomen, lips barely brushing the back of his neck. Ryan shifts a bit in his sleep, hooks his toes back around one of Brendon’s ankles and Brendon flexes his fingers, holds tighter.
This is Brendon and Ryan without the stage show, without the dramatics, without the pressure of proving anything to anyone else, this is just them existing together. It isn’t anything other than what it is, and what it is makes Keltie’s heart ache, a steady pain that makes it hard to breathe, and harder to move.
This, it lets her finally see what she was looking for in the first place.
***
“You’re in love with him,” she says.
Brendon smiles at her, takes another bite of his cereal. “So are you,” he garbles, mouth full of food.
Keltie just stares at him because there isn’t anything else to say.
***
Brendon puts his brand new antique mandolin down on the table carefully and says, “So. Who gets to do what?” as he cracks his knuckles dramatically. Apparently, they’re letting her choose who tops. Keltie thinks it’s kind of silly, that it doesn’t really matter to her, that she isn’t even sure she still wants to do this anymore now that she knows what she needs to know, but Brendon insists, says it’s like really awesome interactive porn, or something.
She gets it, she does. By giving her choices, they’re trying to make her comfortable with this whole thing that she started in the first place, which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to her. She should be the one that needs to do the convincing, not the other way around.
“Are you going to plead your case?” Keltie smiles, playing along because Brendon’s always been hard to say no to. She pulls her knees up to her chest, but Brendon still has no problem leaning in close.
“I usually top,” Brendon volunteers, stares at Ryan who’s pressed in close to her other side, computer on his lap. “Which should be obvious because Ryan’s clearly the chick in this little situation.”
Spencer closes his computer and shoves his hands over his ears as he walks out of the room saying, “I can’t bleach my ear drums, assholes. I hate you all.”
Keltie can’t help it, a short burst of laughter pours out of her. Her hand flies to her mouth.
“But Brendon likes to bottom more than he admits. Has been known to beg for it on occasion,” Ryan smiles, completely unfazed by Spencer’s departure.
Brendon’s mouth opens wide in surprise. “Fucker,” he laughs. He shoves at Ryan, jostling Keltie a bit.
Then he’s climbing over her a bit clumsily, shoving the laptop away so he can sit on Ryan’s thighs, facing him. “Well Ryan here likes me to top because he’s a control freak, but gets off on losing that control.” Brendon sighs and shakes his head in mock disapproval. “It’s a whole weird power thing for him.”
Yeah, Keltie thinks, sounds just like Ryan.
Ryan pinches Brendon’s side and tries to shove him off. Brendon squeaks in protest and grabs Ryan’s arm, shoves back at him laughing. They’re so easy like this, playful even. She can see the closeness better from here, the way they know each other, the way she wishes she could be a part of that.
She bites her lip and watches helplessly. She should get up, she should leave before this thing happens tonight, but she still can’t let go, not yet. She isn’t quite strong enough, but she will be.
She will.
***
“You don’t have anything to prove to me,” Ryan wraps his arms around her from behind. She leans into him, can hear Brendon’s laughter from the adjoining dressing room.
“I know.” Keltie holds onto him, closes her eyes and says, “You’re in love with him.”
“Yeah, well. He’s easy to love.”
“He is,” she sighs.
***
Brendon finds a chair in the hotel room, arranges it carefully so it’s right next to one of the double beds, and pats the cushion, smiling. He calls it her front row seat to the boy sex theater or something. He’s trying to keep the mood light, trying to keep Keltie comfortable.
Brendon kisses her lightly, says, “love you” into her skin and she believes him.
He quickly yanks his thin t-shirt over his head, throws it, then starts to work at his belt as he moves in closer to Ryan. He reaches for him without hesitating and brings their mouths together, tongues following, and that’s okay. Keltie can handle that. She’s watched them make out before.
Brendon pulls back, says, “Jesus Ross, would you get naked already?” He starts to fumble with the buttons of Ryan’s vest muttering to himself about how stupid and pointless vests are. Ryan swats his hands away and warns him with a raised eyebrow. Insulting Ryan’s vests will get you nowhere, Keltie knows this. Brendon knows this too.
“Okay you do it, but I still think they’re fucking stupid. Vests are just not efficient items of clothing for getting naked.” Ryan rolls his eyes and sits down on the edge of the bed and Brendon turns to rummage through his bag on the desk. Ryan looks over at Keltie, waiting. She nods, encouraging, and he smiles back shyly before turning his attention back to the buttons on his vest. He carefully folds it after it’s off his shoulders and his shirt joins the neat pile next. Brendon leans over unsubtly while he searches, unbuttoned jeans falling a bit further down his hips, and Ryan smacks his ass indulgently.
“Hey!” Brendon yelps, laughing.
“Hurry up then,” Ryan says while he works his own pants and underwear down, cock half hard already. There’s a sudden wave of nostalgia floating around in her stomach as she thinks about the last time she saw Ryan naked, the last time she touched him, and it’s almost too much, all of this. She grips the arms of the chair and digs her toes into the fabric to keep the memories from crushing her.
Brendon looks over his shoulder, says to Ryan, “Jesus, usually I’m the impatient one.” He turns again and shakes his ass. “It’s going to be a good night. I can tell already.” Ryan groans and reaches for Brendon’s pants, pushes them down as quickly as he can. They’re tight though so Brendon has to help kick them off, but they manage.
Brendon turns and holds two items up in victory, lube in one hand, condoms in the other.
“I win!” he sing songs. “What’s my prize?” He raises his eyebrows suggestively.
“How about my cock up your ass?” Ryan challenges, completely straight faced like only he could. Keltie’s cheeks burn and she buries her face in her knee to hide her smile.
“Ryan Ross!” Brendon grabs his chest in mock offense, eyes shining bright. “I am so very offended by your excessively lewd comment.” She tries to stifle her giggles, she really tries, but they bubble over the surface anyway. Brendon’s performing for his audience of one, and Keltie’s just as mesmerized by his presence here as she is when he’s on stage.
“I’ll show you lewd,” Ryan murmurs before he shifts to the very edge of the bed and grabs Brendon by the hips, wasting no time in dragging Brendon’s underwear down his legs. Brendon steps out of them, and Keltie can’t help but stare a little. He’s beautiful, all pale skin and lean muscle, cock jutting out, full and hard, ready.
Keltie forgets to breath for a second, because the mood seems to shift and bend with the way Brendon’s looking at Ryan like he’s absolutely everything. It makes her stomach flutter, her fingers tingle.
Then he moves to straddle Ryan’s thighs, dropping the condoms and lube on the bed beside them. He shifts to get comfortable, or maybe just to line up their cocks better. That must be it, because Brendon rocks just a bit and they both gasp. Ryan pulls Brendon by the neck and their mouths meet in the middle. The muscles in Brendon’s back shift and bunch gorgeously as he leans forward, arms wrapped around Ryan’s shoulders.
Keltie squirms a bit in her seat because oh god, she almost forgot that this would be excruciatingly hot, and it isn’t anything like she expected, but it’s real and it’s happening.
Ryan licks his palm and wraps his long fingers around Brendon’s dick, moves his hand along the length lazily. Brendon moans softly against Ryan’s lips, hips pushing forward to match the rhythm of Ryan’s hand.
“Do you hear that Keltie?” Ryan turns to look straight at her, hand still moving. “It gets even better when he’s being fucked.”
Oh.
Brendon’s eyes slip closed and he pants against Ryan’s cheek, losing himself in it. “He’ll say he likes it best on his back so he can watch me come, see my face when it happens. But what he really likes is to take it on his hands and knees because that way I can fuck him harder, deeper.”
“Jesus, Ryan," Brendon moans. ”Cheating. You’re cheating.”
“Yes,” Keltie blurts out, hands inching to the top of her sweat pants.
“Yes what, baby?” Ryan teases, sucking a bruise into Brendon’s shoulder, hand still working him, and his eyes never leave hers because he’s still checking to make sure she’s okay, that this is actually what she wants, and she’s never loved him more.
“Yes, I want to see.” She gasps softly, because she didn’t actually say that out loud did she? Ryan smiles and bites at Brendon’s shoulder. She did, she said all of that. Brendon moans low and pushes up on his knees spreading his legs wider, grabs onto Ryan’s shoulders to anchor himself.
“Yes. C’mon, Ryan. C’mon.” Brendon chants as he watches Ryan hesitate for a second, obviously thrown off by gaining Brendon’s permission too. He doesn’t usually top, Keltie definitely remembers that part.
But she thinks it’s probably all the same to Brendon, who’s doing the fucking and who’s getting fucked, as long as something’s happening, as long as it feels good. He plays into the power dynamics because Ryan likes it, but she can also see that Brendon, he likes to throw out the rules too, make up his own as he goes along, maybe just to spite Ryan half the time, or just force him to think outside of his immediate expectations.
Brendon grabs the lube from the bed and swings it in front of Ryan’s face, “This would be good right about now.” Ryan snatches it from him, mumbles, “fucker” under his breath as he quickly uncaps it and lubes up his fingers.
Then he reaches behind Brendon to spread his cheeks, rubbing without pushing in yet, challenging. “Don’t fuck around, asshole. I’ll change my mind, and then Keltie can watch you beg for it. You want that?” Ryan bites at his bottom lip but his chin is up defiantly, maybe he does.
Brendon’s pushing back into it, and Ryan finally lets one finger press in while Brendon’s rutting just a bit into Ryan’s stomach like he can’t help it. And Keltie can hardly stand it herself, can hardly stand to watch Ryan’s long fingers push in and pull out again, first one then two at the same time, then three, disappearing inside Brendon’s body as he groans through it.
She wants someone to touch her, oh god, wants fingers in her, on her.
Then Brendon starts talking, and Keltie just listens, helpless against the pull of his voice. “Kel, Keltie, do you know what this feels like? His hands, Keltie. Ever let Ryan stretch you, tear you apart like this? Nothing. Nothing compares to the burn of it, but it’s so good. So fucking good.”
She has. She wants that now, Ryan’s hands on her, in her. Wants Brendon’s voice rumbling low right against her ear. Wants Brendon’s hands too and his mouth, oh god, his mouth.
Brendon quickly reaches for the condoms and tears one packet open with his teeth. Keltie doesn’t have a clear view, but she can tell by the way Ryan’s mouth opens and his eyes close, the way his body tenses, that Brendon’s touching him, rolling the condom on.
She knows what Ryan looks like when he’s being touched.
Brendon whispers something to Ryan, close to his ear so she can’t hear, and Ryan nods, eyes flicking over to her just once. Ryan pulls his fingers out and Brendon twists away, gets on his hands and knees without hesitating. Ryan gets up behind Brendon, pushes his fingers back in immediately.
“Fuck. I’m ready, asshole. C’mon,” Brendon growls impatiently, but then his whole body tenses and trembles. “Jesus. Ryan,” Brendon pants desperately, sweaty from exertion, from anticipation. Keltie watches Ryan pull his fingers out slowly and Brendon whines at the loss but braces himself for what’s coming, head bowed, fingers fisting the coarse hotel sheets. Ryan lines himself up and pushes forward a little at a time, breathing in sharp intakes.
Once he’s all the way in, Brendon pushes back, encouraging Ryan to move. Silent communication that comes with knowing each other. Ryan grips Brendon’s hips and pulls out and pushes back in, just once, but it’s forceful and deliberate, makes Brendon cry out and shudder, mouth wide.
“Yes,” he hisses. And Ryan moans too before he starts a brutal but steady rhythm, building up to something deeper with every thrust. And Keltie’s never seen him like this, a bit darker and forceful, more reckless, and she thinks maybe he’s always been holding back on her because he thought that’s what she wanted. Brendon, he never wants Ryan to hold back on him, and Ryan believes him, gives him everything.
Or maybe she just never knew what she really wanted. Keltie knows what she wants now, and it has nothing to do with soft or delicate or easy.
She wants them to crush her between them, she wants hard and rough and she wants slow and torturous. She wants it all.
“Tell me, Brendon,” and she doesn’t even recognize her own voice, the way it’s demanding yet shaking, still unsure of this ache tearing at her insides.
Brendon smiles wide, panting, eyes closed, like he’s especially pleased that she’s asking, like he was waiting for it. “It’s-God Keltie. I’m- full, so full and stretched, ripped apart. Good, so good. Like I want more but I don’t because, fuck, it’s almost. Almost too much but not enough and-ah, everything.” Keltie can’t stop the moan from escaping her throat, thighs squeezing together because her clit is throbbing now, aching for some kind of contact.
Brendon’s watching her now, watching her squirm in the chair, hand inching between her thighs.
“Oh baby. You want to touch yourself? Wanna get off while you watch us fuck?” Brendon says in that bleeding sex voice of his. The same one that could convince Keltie to do anything, anything at all. All he would have to do is ask.
Brendon pushes up on his knees, kneeling, and leans into Ryan, back flush against Ryan’s front. Ryan holds him close with an arm across his chest, still deep inside, but he grunts in disapproval because he can’t do much besides rock gently in this position with nothing to push against, but Brendon doesn’t seem to be in any hurry. He rocks back in tiny motions, hips tilting forward, and nuzzles back along Ryan’s jaw says, “Look at how pretty she is all flushed and hot like that, Ryan. She wants to get off, should we let her?”
Ryan looks at her, eyes half closed, says, “C’mere, Keltie. C’mere.”
No, oh no. That’s not.
Keltie feels like crying, because god she wants too, wants to throw herself in the middle of this because she can’t stand being so far away anymore, but this isn’t what was supposed to happen.
She didn’t plan for wanting this.
“Want you, baby. C’mere,” Brendon purrs.
She stands on shaky legs, still unsure but willing to do anything right now, even if that means this is the only time she’ll ever be a part of it all. When she gets close enough, Brendon takes her hand and pulls her towards him so she’s kneeling on the bed facing them, flush against Brendon, cock pressing hot and solid into her thigh, skin sweat slick against her hands where they’re gripping his shoulders, so tight.
Brendon presses his lips to her neck while Ryan kisses her knuckles. She shivers as Brendon’s fingertips brush under her shirt over her lower stomach, pushing her sweat pants further down her hips. “Is this okay? You have to tell me, us, if it isn’t.” Sincerity drips from his voice, curling into her, soothing. She looks over his shoulder at Ryan and Ryan nods, whispers, “It’s okay, we both want this.”
Keltie pulls Brendon to look at her, threads her fingers through his damp hair, and brings their lips together softly. He opens almost immediately, tongue playing against her own. It’s different, the way he kisses is different compared to Ryan. Ryan’s methodical about it, careful and deliberate. Brendon, he’s everywhere at once, and not as gentle, like he would kiss her the same if she were anyone, but he still makes her feel like she’s the only one he ever wants to be kissing.
His hands fist her t-shirt, bringing it up and over her breasts. Brendon pulls it over her head quickly before kissing her again. She’s distracted by Brendon’s mouth, so very distracted, but eventually she feels the push of his body coming harder and harder into her own.
Oh god, Ryan’s still fucking him, still in him. That’s just-god.
“Fuck. I can’t,” she hears Ryan plead, breathing heavy.
Brendon pushes forward so Keltie is lying on her back, so he’s back on his hands and knees above her, and Ryan takes that as his chance to start pounding into him from behind. She does her best to kick off her sweat pants without getting them in the way of the tangled boys above her and Brendon tries to help, but he’s mostly a writhing moaning mess with other things on his mind, especially when Ryan reaches down and fists his cock.
Keltie knows when Ryan’s getting close, he’s been close for a while now, so it doesn’t take long before he’s coming hard and fast, gritting his teeth and moaning through it. Brendon follows shortly after, arches into it, spilling come over her stomach and Ryan’s hand.
Brendon collapses heavy on top of her after Ryan pulls out, and she holds him there, slides her fingers through his wet hair, mostly not caring about the come drying sticky between them. She spreads her legs wide so he can rest against her, softening cock rubbing wetly against her thigh and panties.
“Fuck, how are you not naked yet?” Brendon says smiling wide, body still trembling and heaving as he starts to trace his tongue along the top edge of her bra. “Want you naked. Want you trembling and moaning. Want you.” She pushes up a bit and unclasps her bra, letting it fall off her shoulders. Brendon stares for a second, mouth open.
“Oh. Oh Ryan Ross has been holding out on me. I haven’t seen a good pair of breasts in so long.” He palms both, then licks and sucks at her nipples enthusiastically.
“Fuck.” Ryan. Keltie looks over at him standing at the foot of the bed, condom disposed of, eyes lust heavy.
Brendon laughs, looks at Ryan over his shoulder, says to Keltie, “He likes watching too.”
Brendon’s eyes are shining again, and Keltie forgets to breathe.
“Can I?” he asks and Keltie sighs and nods. Don’t ask, she thinks, you don’t need to ask. She feels the pads of his calloused fingertips inch closer to her center, then finally, finally he pushes her panties aside and strokes between her wet folds. He finds her clit quickly and she moans at the contact.
“Yeah?” He says pressing his fingers there, right there.
“Yeah. God yes,” she hisses, spreading her legs even wider, lower back arching with the feel of it. She feels the bed dip, and Ryan’s hand wraps around her ankle.
“Mmm. That’s what you wanted while you were watching Ryan fuck me, isn’t it? Someone to touch you there, someone to make you come. Did you want my hands? Ryan’s hands?” He licks across her ear. “My mouth?”
“Everything,” she gasps.
He looks at her then, and she feels torn open from the inside. Like he gets it, understands what she means by everything. He kisses her deep for a few second then pulls back.
His stubble tickles against her skin as he rubs his cheek down her torso pressing opened mouth kisses there, licking at the come on her stomach, her abs, making them quiver. He eases her panties down her legs and Keltie kicks them off quickly.
Then she’s opening her thighs wide and Brendon’s right there, spreading her open so he can rub at her clit hard and fast now. She closes her eyes, pants through the building heat in her pelvis, body shaking, and just when she’s about to crash over the edge Brendon stops and circles around her clit instead of touching it directly. Keltie pants and whimpers, and Brendon smiles up at her as he arranges her so one knee is over his shoulder. In the next moment she forgives him though, because his mouth is there with his fingers and he’s licking and sucking her now, hard and relentless.
“He’s good with his mouth,” Ryan smiles knowingly. Keltie moans in agreement, because oh yes. Yes, he is.
Then they’re both there. Ryan presses kisses to her knee, the inside of her thigh, hands sinking into Brendon’s hair. Brendon pulls Ryan to him when he comes up to breathe, lips swollen and shiny wet. Ryan goes for his mouth immediately, kisses him sloppily, all tongues and teeth and soft breathy moans.
Fuck. They can’t keep doing this to her.
“Stop teasing me, oh my god, you’re fucking hot together, I get it okay, but I need-" They both look at her in surprise. Okay, that was louder than she intended, but whatever. It isn’t fair. What they’re doing to her isn’t fair. Don’t they know?
“Get her off. Stop being a dick,” Ryan says, shoving Brendon’s shoulder. Brendon laughs easily as he presses his mouth against Ryan’s once more and tugs at his bottom lip with his teeth before settling back down to driving her crazy with his mouth. Ryan moves up to kiss her and she holds him to her lips as her body tenses and her thighs tremble.
Then she’s coming, the word finally repeating over and over again in her mind as she cries out, but she probably says it out loud too, because Ryan’s smiling against her lips. Brendon doesn’t let up, keeps licking her through it and she hasn’t come that hard or that long in well- ever.
And this is it, this is the part where she spills her insides all over the floor and watches everything crumble down around her.
“I don’t care, Ryan. Brendon, I don’t care if it’s stupid or selfish or if it falls apart tomorrow,” she pleads through her orgasmic haze, fingers digging into the back of Ryan’s neck as she watches Brendon lick at his lips after he raises up. And she hauls Brendon to her, kisses him hard, tasting herself on his tongue. “Want you both so much.” Then she’s dragging her tongue across Ryan’s mouth, kissing him too.
“That’s the plan, baby,” Ryan whispers right against her ear and it makes her shiver. Brendon smiles wickedly, that genius plan smile of his that means trouble. Those fuckers planned all of this, all of it. Keltie laughs, feels lighter and ready to cry and achingly warm and hysterical all at the same time. Brendon twists away, grabbing two condoms from the floor where they fell off the bed, and the lube too. God, if he needs all of those things, that means-
“You decide who goes where,” Ryan says. And Keltie, she doesn’t much care who goes where, as long as they’re both there, both with her and in her, god, even in each other. As long as it feels good and right, and as long as they keep giving her everything because this, this is them, this is how she fits with them, how she always wants to fit with them.
End.
The Sequel to this is: The Inevitable Catch (Completed September 08)
Author: Jenn (samedifference_)
Pairing: Panic at the Disco, Brendon/Ryan, Brendon/Ryan/Keltie
Rating: NC17, for explicit m/m & m/f sex
Warnings: threesome, Brendon’s filthy mouth, voyeurism
Word Count: 7,979
Disclaimer: fiction from start to finish, still not mine.
Notes: Can you tell that this fic has taken over my life recently? I know my flist can. For more evidence see: my lj header.
Beta’d by the lovely x_rivulet. Also thanks to choclitbunny for unintentionally forcing me to get this together in my head. My flist is full of lovely people that either encouraged this madness or told me they would read it regardless of the girlfriend thing, so I blame them. Lyrics stolen from Snow Patrol’s Chocolate.
I found out quickly that feedback is like crack for writers. It really makes this worth sharing with you all, so leave some! ♥
Summary: “Keltie wants to watch us fuck,” Ryan says evenly, like it’s a perfectly rational thing to throw out there and discuss.
***
Goodness knows I saw it coming
Or at least I'll claim I did
But in truth I'm lost for words
***
“I think I want to watch,” Keltie says slowly, carefully, while they’re curled around each other in the bus lounge, a movie playing in the background. It takes a second, but Ryan pulls away a bit so he can look at her, one eyebrow raised slightly but face otherwise impassive.
“Come on, Ryan. Don’t act like it’s some huge secret, when it’s clearly not.” Keltie pokes him in the side. “I was there last night, remember? The band meeting about the ‘no fucking on the bus’ rule, and the way you two keep breaking it, and how Spencer’s sick of walking in on blow jobs and then having to wash his eyes out with bleach.”
“Keltie, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ryan smiles.
“Look, okay. This break has been good for us. This is what we needed. Plus, it’s not like I’ve been sitting home at night crying over you, so I don’t expect that from you either.” She smiles.
“What? I’ll kick his ass.” Ryan gives her pretend shock. He knows exactly what she’s talking about.
“Shut up, Ryan.” Keltie swats his arm. “It was all very tragic, if you recall.” Ryan grunts in acknowledgement. Yeah, Keltie thinks, the bastard was married.
“I still want to kick that douche bag’s ass,” Ryan mumbles. Three AM phone calls are never his favorites, especially not when she’s being emotional and incoherent about some guy that isn’t him.
Keltie kisses his cheek appreciatively and lays her head back on his shoulder. “Besides, you already know I would rather you have a thing with Brendon than some skanky scene queen groupie.”
“I like the way you rationalize things, baby,” Ryan says, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Works in my favor, at least.”
“Is that a yes then?”
Ryan sighs and slowly laces their fingers together, a promise.
He carefully says, “I love you, you know. I never stopped.”
Keltie’s heart beats a bit faster. Ryan doesn’t say it much, so when he does say it, she knows he means it.
“I just hope you’re not trying to prove anything by asking for this, because it’s okay if you’re still not, you know, okay with Brendon and I- how we’re- doing whatever the fuck it is we’re doing.” Ryan frowns.
She squeezes his hand. “We’ve talked about this, Ryan.” She is okay with the Ryan and Brendon thing. Mostly. “I just, I don’t know okay? I guess I want to know how you are with each other, see how you are with someone who’s not me. Can’t it just be curiosity?”
Ryan rolls his eyes. Clearly not, but Keltie can’t really force herself to tell him the other reason, the one about it helping her move on by convincing herself that this thing between them is bigger than they admit to everyone, including themselves. Bigger than what her and Ryan have, and that’s okay. She tells herself that’s okay because she wants Ryan to have that, even if it isn’t with her.
And Ryan is still hers. He says it often enough that Keltie believes it, but she also knows that he was Brendon’s before she even knew who Ryan Ross was, before Keltie knew Brendon was Ryan’s too, and now, now it’s just a little more obvious, a little more visible. This is the part where she convinces herself to let them have that.
It’s not a big deal, she tells herself, don’t make it into something bigger before you know for sure.
“Ryan, you’re hot, Brendon’s hot, so the sex is automatically hot.” She shoves his shoulder, tries for a playful approach. “Probably unbelievably hot.” Ryan shoves back with his shoulder, fails at keeping the smile from his face.
“It would actually be more rational if you weren’t okay with this whole thing. You know that right?”
Keltie smiles and nods because it’s true. She knows that. “I love you, and I trust you. So trust me, okay? I want this. You’re they only one I would ever ask to do this for me.” She whispers, “Please. Please do this for me, Ryan.”
Ryan leans in and places a soft kiss across her lips. It isn’t exactly an answer yet, but she’s getting closer.
Then Brendon’s rushing into the lounge, stupid oversized sunglasses covering his face, sweat and sunshine clinging to his skin.
“Dude, Alex just bought this kick ass mandolin from some shop downtown. I’m going and you’re coming with me,” Brendon smiles, all teeth. “Can’t let me go buying shitty instruments, right?” Ryan makes a face at Brendon, one that says he clearly doesn’t buy it. “Okay, okay,” Brendon sighs dramatically. “Really you’re coming because Zack’s being a hard ass and won’t let me go by myself. Happy now?”
Brendon waits, drums his fingers on the door frame impatiently.
Keltie blushes and bites her lip because a sudden and particularly vivid image of Brendon flashes thorough her mind, jeans around his ankles, pressed against the door he’s currently leaning against, Ryan pounding into him from behind, making the most obscene noises as he just takes it, and that would be- Okay, apparently she really does think it would be hot, and she’s deciding if that’s completely bizarre when she looks over and Ryan’s staring at her like he can read her thoughts, knows what she’s thinking about. Oh God.
“Oh what? Am I interrupting the sexy times or something?” Brendon jokes. He has no idea.
“Keltie wants to watch us fuck,” Ryan says evenly, like it’s a perfectly rational thing to throw out there and discuss.
Brendon raises his eyebrows, surprise quickly turning to intrigue. “Huh,” he says thoughtfully.
“He’s in,” Ryan sighs. Convincing Brendon was never going to be the issue, Keltie knew that already.
“What? Oh, you mean like right now?” Brendon goes for the belt buckle on his jeans, completely serious. “I think that store closes in an hour, but that’s still plenty of time, unless-”
Ryan rolls his eyes and gets up from the couch.
“Keep your pants on, Brendon.” Ryan shoves him down the hall in the direction of the bus door.
“But I don’t need pants if we’re fucking, Ryan Ross.”
“Later,” Ryan promises sternly with another shove, then smiles at Keltie over his shoulder.
She smiles back, watches them go, stomach fluttering a bit in anticipation.
Yeah, that’s about the reaction she expected.
From both of them.
***
Later that night, Keltie catches them whispering in an abandoned Hush Sound dressing room right before they go on. Brendon’s sitting on the make-up counter and Ryan’s facing him, standing between his legs. Brendon’s fingers are sweeping through the hair at the back of Ryan’s neck and his face is uncharacteristically calm and intent while he talks. She can’t hear them, but the sight of them huddled together is enough to make her heart speed up, mostly anticipation now, only a tiny bit of residual jealousy clinging, but she pushes that last thing away. It’s petty and silly to keep doing that.
She watches them from the doorway and thinks about how it’s always been like this. She’s always liked watching them be together from a distance, even when her and Ryan were a couple. But, it took Ryan on his knees, Brendon’s cock in his mouth after the show three nights ago for her to actually realize this. She only caught the very end, then Brendon sliding to the floor to push his hands through Ryan’s hair and bring their mouths together gently, soft and deep at the same time, and it was more intimate than she ever expected. It didn’t hit her until then that maybe there’s more going on here than what she thought.
She doesn’t regret it, deciding to take a break. There was still too much living to do, still is, for both of them. She’s living, she is.
And this is Ryan living, Keltie reminds herself. This is what they both decided was best.
“Keltie Colleen! My favorite voyeurist! Come here.” His smile is there again, wide and magnetic, and he beckons her over with wide arms.
She doesn’t hesitate in walking towards them. And maybe it’s weird that Brendon’s still one of her best friends despite the fact that he’s currently involved with the love of her life, but it never felt weird to her. Brendon and Ryan, they never kept this from her, never hid it, or pretended it was something else. Brendon came to her first, told her that he wouldn’t start anything with Ryan if she was against it, said that they both just wanted to try something they’d been inching towards since the beginning. No big deal. Sex without complication, and it felt right to let them have that.
Surprisingly, they’ve settled into an easy friendship since then, with a few unspoken agreements between the three of them. Brendon quietly steps aside when she’s around, lets them be Ryan and Keltie for as long as they need, but Keltie can’t ever seem to keep him away for very long, always drawing him in closer because she wants him there, wants him close.
They never throw it in her face either, or didn’t before she blatantly asked them to. Ryan’s always cautious about outward signs of affection with Brendon regardless of the situation, but he’s getting better at not being afraid to show it around Keltie. And she wants that. It’s important to her that they are genuine when they’re around her even if that means she can see it all clearer, the way they look at each other, the way they’re getting closer to something that’s more than casual.
“Move Ross, make room for my favorite.” Ryan sits on the counter next to Brendon, thighs and hips pressed together. Brendon pulls Keltie to stand between his legs and hugs her tightly to him, and Keltie hugs him back, lets his warmth sink into her. Brendon hugs like he wouldn’t want to be doing anything else in the world. “Where have you been all my life, gorgeous?”
“You saw her five minutes ago.” Ryan kicks Brendon’s ankle as he smiles and leans in to kiss her lightly. Brendon never complains about any affection they show each other, and Keltie’s grateful because she’s never been able to give it up completely, not yet anyway.
“Longest 5 minutes of my life. Hey. Hey.” He pokes Keltie in the side. “Where’s my love? You get to see me naked, don’t I at least get to kiss you first? I’d say that’s pretty fair.” Keltie smiles, combs her fingers through his hair affectionately.
“I’ll settle for an ass grab,” Brendon says, leaning into her touch. Keltie ignores him, places a soft kiss across his mouth instead.
“Thank you,” she whispers against his lips, and it feels like it’s for more than just what he’s currently giving her.
Brendon nods, he gets it.
“Anything. Just ask, okay?” he whispers sincerely, presses his lips more firmly to hers this time.
Brendon makes it easy to love him.
“Christ,” Ryan breathes. Keltie rests her head on Brendon’s shoulder, snuggles into him as she looks over at Ryan.
“Oh damn, Kel,” Brendon laughs, the vibrations from his body making her feel safe, warm. She fists his shirt tighter. “Ryan’s having a few issues over there. We might have to help him out-" Brendon reaches for Ryan’s shirt, pulls him closer.
“She wants a show, Ryan.” Brendon nuzzles along Ryan’s jaw, leaves opened mouthed kisses there.
“No, Brendon.” Ryan tries to dodge Brendon’s mouth, his hands. “Later. We have a show in an hour.”
“I can be quick. You know I can be quick.” God, if Brendon uses that tone anymore, the one where his voice bleeds sex, Keltie might just say yes, lets go right the fuck now. And Ryan wouldn’t say no, he wouldn’t, not if she wanted it too.
“Later,” Ryan warns.
Brendon pouts, lower lip pushed out, but he lets go and Ryan squeezes his thigh before he slides off the counter. Keltie holds onto Brendon though, and he lets her, cards his fingers through her hair and presses his lips to her skin.
***
Keltie gets a text during the concert that night. She’s not sure how Brendon manages to send it between songs during their set, but it’s there all the same.
BIG finale on ur last nite. <3 bden & ry
She closes her eyes, heart racing.
The last night she’s on the road with them is a hotel night. They’re making her wait.
***
Keltie decides she could listen to them argue about chord progressions until she’s old and can’t hear anymore, and even then she’d still be content to just watch.
She pulls at a few blades of grass absently. Unfortunately, this little revelation probably wont help her with that closure thing she was looking for. Life is not fair, not in the slightest. And it’s a funny thing to want really, but she’s surprising herself a lot lately, so this is just something else to add to the list.
She’s only mildly interested in the actual argument this time, but she props her head in her hand anyway so she can watch them. They’re facing each other, acoustics in their laps, sun glinting off steel and shiny wood.
“You know I hate that fucking chord, yet you still want to use it,” Brendon says, pick in his mouth, muffling his words.
“How can you hate specific chords? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. A three chord progression is a three chord progression, you can’t just fuck around with that because you feel like it, Brendon. It’s about the flow of the song,” Ryan says, bending over his guitar to scribble something down in a spiral notebook.
“No. Fuck that. Fuck the flow.” He takes the pick out of his mouth and points it at Ryan. “You’re just doing it to piss me off. And it’s not about the song, it’s about how I feel about the fucking song. I’m not singing something I hate.”
“Douche bag.”
“Asshole.”
“I want to hear it,” Keltie says.
They both pause mid insult and look over at her, probably forgot she was even listening, that she was close enough to hear.
When they’re writing together, they get into this weird headspace where the rest of the world falls away and nothing else matters except the music and each other. It’s amazing to see up close, the way the creativity sparks between them, the way their opposing personalities complement each other, balancing like nothing Keltie’s seen before.
The arguments can be pretty epic too. Keltie learned that about them pretty quickly.
Brendon says, “Okay.”
At the same time, Ryan says, “No.”
They look at each other in surprise and Keltie sighs, turns over on her back, grass prickling at her shoulders and lower back where her tank top is riding up. She squints up at the blue, blue sky. There aren’t any clouds today.
“It’s not done yet,” Ryan says to Brendon. He’s always more likely to be cautious about sharing.
“It doesn’t matter. We don’t seem to be getting anywhere, so maybe she can help,” Brendon argues, always the optimistic one of the two.
Ryan huffs, muttering something under his breath that Keltie can’t hear, but then starts playing softly.
Keltie, she knows next to nothing about music and chords and guitars but she knows what sounds good to her and she knows Brendon and Ryan. Sometimes that’s enough.
She closes her eyes, stretches her arms above her head, lets the soft hum of something beginning seep into her skin, tickle at her toes. The solo part starts soon after, Brendon’s playing now, a swirl of tangled notes that meld and mesh with Ryan’s steady chords. It’s pretty, in a morose and melancholy sort of way, reminds her more of their earlier music, of Tacks, and that throws her off, but it’s a good kind of surprise. It is rough in places, even she can tell, but it’s a good start, a good beginning.
Brendon starts singing softly and Keltie’s heart beats a bit faster. She can feel the emotion of it pouring out of him like it always does, but the feel of the song doesn’t truly hit her until Ryan starts singing too, until they’re both strumming and singing together. Ryan’s an octave below Brendon during the chorus, their voices sliding past each other, layering with the chords.
God, it’s breathtaking.
She decides in that moment that if she got to choose, the last thing she would ever want to hear in her life would be Brendon’s voice and Ryan’s guitar, together. Or maybe she’d choose the other way around, Ryan’s voice and Brendon’s guitar. As long as it was both of them, she thinks she probably wouldn’t care who did what.
She hopes they don’t ask her about the words, because she hears them, sure, but she doesn’t process them. That’s all they are after all, just words. When she listens to something the dancer in her takes over. She wants to feel the emotion in it, wants to hear it with her entire body. That way she gets at something that’s deeper than syllables and rhymes.
Then it stops, too abruptly, unresolved.
“That’s what we’ve got right now,” Brendon says, starts strumming again idly. “We need another verse, and to decide on this fucking chord. Hey, why don’t we just change the key?”
“Because I like the key,” Ryan says.
“Oh what, Ryan? You can attach emotions to keys, but I can’t do that with chords?”
Keltie cuts them off before they can get any further into another argument, “Play it again, just the part you’re arguing about.”
Ryan does. She hears it, the switch, the way it fits, but also how it doesn’t.
“It fits with the song, but I don’t like the chord.” She tilts her head back to smile at them upside down.
“Well that solves exactly nothing,” Ryan says.
“She didn’t like the chord, she agreed with me, didn’t you hear her?”
“She agreed with both of us, dumbass. You only chose to hear the last part.”
Keltie tunes them out again, they still have a good twenty minutes of arguing left in them before they make up, or make out, or both.
She closes her eyes and concentrates on the sun against her skin and the low rumble of their voices tumbling together. And that leads her to thinking about other things, how their voices would sound together during sex. She knows how Ryan is, how he isn’t vocal at all, not unless she catches him off guard, does something he isn’t expecting, but that’s fine though, because she can usually tell when she’s doing something right. She suspects Brendon wouldn’t be able to shut up during sex, mouth running faster than his brain can process. That might be okay too. God, it would be more than okay-
“Does it get you hot? Thinking about it?” Keltie doesn’t open her eyes, but she can feel Brendon hovering over her, shadowing the sun away from her skin, probably with a big stupid knowing grin across his face. She can’t remember if she fell asleep or not, or how he ended up so close. She’s still outside though, can smell the summer air, feel the grass at her shoulders and toes.
“Gets you all hot, that’s why you want to watch. But is it boys fucking in general? Or is it the two of us specifically.” And he sounds genuinely curious.
Keltie whispers, “It’s you. Both of you together.” Apparently, she’s in the mood for confessions.
Brendon laughs softly and she’s glad he finds this all very amusing. It makes it easier for her to convince at least one of them that that’s the entire reason why she wants this, that it has nothing to do with digging herself out of this vortex of ryanrossandbrendonurie.
“That’s pretty fucking kinky you know. Wanting to watch someone you were with, fuck someone else.”
It’s true, she knows that, but she needs this. Needs a giant push, something to make her change the way she loves Ryan Ross. And this, this is what will do it.
Keltie reaches blindly, fingertips connecting with Brendon’s cheek first. She places her palm there and has the sudden urge to tell him that he’s the only person she would ever trust with Ryan, the only one she would give him up completely for. He should know that, she decides. She pulls off his sunglasses gently so she can trace his features with her hand, and Brendon’s still, lets her touch; forehead, brows, eyelids, bridge of his nose, lips.
He kisses the tip of her thumb, and it feels like he understands. For now, that’s enough. Then he settles down beside her, wraps an arm around her middle, and tucks his chin into her shoulder. She holds him close.
“I think,” He hums absently for a second or two. “I think you’re the only girl I’d ever consider proposing to, Keltie Colleen. If I asked you to marry me, would you say yes?”
“I would,” and she’s surprised by how sincere she is. He kisses her cheek softly and pulls her tighter against him, curling around her side, bare toes tickling against her calf.
“I’d buy you anything you wanted, a huge mansion on the French Rivera, sunsets and gardens full of roses and lilies. Ryan would be our pool boy. We would pay him well, but he’d have to work in the nude. It would be part of his contract, of course. Oh and we’d occasionally invite him to have wild threesome sexual adventures with us.” Brendon sighs, “It would be awesome.”
Keltie smiles and laughs easily. She laughs because she wouldn’t mind that scenario, as ridiculous as it sounds, at least they’d be together.
***
She’s falls asleep watching Gossip Girl in the back lounge with Jon that night after the show. Cassie tapes it for him, which should be odd, but knowing Jon, it really isn’t.
Jon’s safe and good at cuddling and she doesn’t necessarily have sexual fantasies about him, and she doesn’t think she’s in love with him, or falling in love with him, and he doesn’t usually ask questions, so it’s a nice break from the crazy her life has become.
She wakes randomly and the television is still glowing, volume on low, bus engine comforting and familiar.
“I don’t think I’m strong enough to walk away,” she whispers into the darkness. It really does feel safer to make confessions in the dark. She isn’t sure Jon’s still awake until he drapes his arm around her shoulder and she sinks into his solid warmth.
“Are you sure that’s what they want?” he whispers back. Keltie sighs. It’s not about that really. It’s about what she needs to do.
Because this isn’t about her. It was never about her.
***
When Keltie gets up later, it’s almost three in the morning. She finds them sleeping in Ryan’s bunk, both in t-shirts and boxers. Brendon has his body pressed firmly to Ryan’s back, hand splayed over his abdomen, lips barely brushing the back of his neck. Ryan shifts a bit in his sleep, hooks his toes back around one of Brendon’s ankles and Brendon flexes his fingers, holds tighter.
This is Brendon and Ryan without the stage show, without the dramatics, without the pressure of proving anything to anyone else, this is just them existing together. It isn’t anything other than what it is, and what it is makes Keltie’s heart ache, a steady pain that makes it hard to breathe, and harder to move.
This, it lets her finally see what she was looking for in the first place.
***
“You’re in love with him,” she says.
Brendon smiles at her, takes another bite of his cereal. “So are you,” he garbles, mouth full of food.
Keltie just stares at him because there isn’t anything else to say.
***
Brendon puts his brand new antique mandolin down on the table carefully and says, “So. Who gets to do what?” as he cracks his knuckles dramatically. Apparently, they’re letting her choose who tops. Keltie thinks it’s kind of silly, that it doesn’t really matter to her, that she isn’t even sure she still wants to do this anymore now that she knows what she needs to know, but Brendon insists, says it’s like really awesome interactive porn, or something.
She gets it, she does. By giving her choices, they’re trying to make her comfortable with this whole thing that she started in the first place, which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to her. She should be the one that needs to do the convincing, not the other way around.
“Are you going to plead your case?” Keltie smiles, playing along because Brendon’s always been hard to say no to. She pulls her knees up to her chest, but Brendon still has no problem leaning in close.
“I usually top,” Brendon volunteers, stares at Ryan who’s pressed in close to her other side, computer on his lap. “Which should be obvious because Ryan’s clearly the chick in this little situation.”
Spencer closes his computer and shoves his hands over his ears as he walks out of the room saying, “I can’t bleach my ear drums, assholes. I hate you all.”
Keltie can’t help it, a short burst of laughter pours out of her. Her hand flies to her mouth.
“But Brendon likes to bottom more than he admits. Has been known to beg for it on occasion,” Ryan smiles, completely unfazed by Spencer’s departure.
Brendon’s mouth opens wide in surprise. “Fucker,” he laughs. He shoves at Ryan, jostling Keltie a bit.
Then he’s climbing over her a bit clumsily, shoving the laptop away so he can sit on Ryan’s thighs, facing him. “Well Ryan here likes me to top because he’s a control freak, but gets off on losing that control.” Brendon sighs and shakes his head in mock disapproval. “It’s a whole weird power thing for him.”
Yeah, Keltie thinks, sounds just like Ryan.
Ryan pinches Brendon’s side and tries to shove him off. Brendon squeaks in protest and grabs Ryan’s arm, shoves back at him laughing. They’re so easy like this, playful even. She can see the closeness better from here, the way they know each other, the way she wishes she could be a part of that.
She bites her lip and watches helplessly. She should get up, she should leave before this thing happens tonight, but she still can’t let go, not yet. She isn’t quite strong enough, but she will be.
She will.
***
“You don’t have anything to prove to me,” Ryan wraps his arms around her from behind. She leans into him, can hear Brendon’s laughter from the adjoining dressing room.
“I know.” Keltie holds onto him, closes her eyes and says, “You’re in love with him.”
“Yeah, well. He’s easy to love.”
“He is,” she sighs.
***
Brendon finds a chair in the hotel room, arranges it carefully so it’s right next to one of the double beds, and pats the cushion, smiling. He calls it her front row seat to the boy sex theater or something. He’s trying to keep the mood light, trying to keep Keltie comfortable.
Brendon kisses her lightly, says, “love you” into her skin and she believes him.
He quickly yanks his thin t-shirt over his head, throws it, then starts to work at his belt as he moves in closer to Ryan. He reaches for him without hesitating and brings their mouths together, tongues following, and that’s okay. Keltie can handle that. She’s watched them make out before.
Brendon pulls back, says, “Jesus Ross, would you get naked already?” He starts to fumble with the buttons of Ryan’s vest muttering to himself about how stupid and pointless vests are. Ryan swats his hands away and warns him with a raised eyebrow. Insulting Ryan’s vests will get you nowhere, Keltie knows this. Brendon knows this too.
“Okay you do it, but I still think they’re fucking stupid. Vests are just not efficient items of clothing for getting naked.” Ryan rolls his eyes and sits down on the edge of the bed and Brendon turns to rummage through his bag on the desk. Ryan looks over at Keltie, waiting. She nods, encouraging, and he smiles back shyly before turning his attention back to the buttons on his vest. He carefully folds it after it’s off his shoulders and his shirt joins the neat pile next. Brendon leans over unsubtly while he searches, unbuttoned jeans falling a bit further down his hips, and Ryan smacks his ass indulgently.
“Hey!” Brendon yelps, laughing.
“Hurry up then,” Ryan says while he works his own pants and underwear down, cock half hard already. There’s a sudden wave of nostalgia floating around in her stomach as she thinks about the last time she saw Ryan naked, the last time she touched him, and it’s almost too much, all of this. She grips the arms of the chair and digs her toes into the fabric to keep the memories from crushing her.
Brendon looks over his shoulder, says to Ryan, “Jesus, usually I’m the impatient one.” He turns again and shakes his ass. “It’s going to be a good night. I can tell already.” Ryan groans and reaches for Brendon’s pants, pushes them down as quickly as he can. They’re tight though so Brendon has to help kick them off, but they manage.
Brendon turns and holds two items up in victory, lube in one hand, condoms in the other.
“I win!” he sing songs. “What’s my prize?” He raises his eyebrows suggestively.
“How about my cock up your ass?” Ryan challenges, completely straight faced like only he could. Keltie’s cheeks burn and she buries her face in her knee to hide her smile.
“Ryan Ross!” Brendon grabs his chest in mock offense, eyes shining bright. “I am so very offended by your excessively lewd comment.” She tries to stifle her giggles, she really tries, but they bubble over the surface anyway. Brendon’s performing for his audience of one, and Keltie’s just as mesmerized by his presence here as she is when he’s on stage.
“I’ll show you lewd,” Ryan murmurs before he shifts to the very edge of the bed and grabs Brendon by the hips, wasting no time in dragging Brendon’s underwear down his legs. Brendon steps out of them, and Keltie can’t help but stare a little. He’s beautiful, all pale skin and lean muscle, cock jutting out, full and hard, ready.
Keltie forgets to breath for a second, because the mood seems to shift and bend with the way Brendon’s looking at Ryan like he’s absolutely everything. It makes her stomach flutter, her fingers tingle.
Then he moves to straddle Ryan’s thighs, dropping the condoms and lube on the bed beside them. He shifts to get comfortable, or maybe just to line up their cocks better. That must be it, because Brendon rocks just a bit and they both gasp. Ryan pulls Brendon by the neck and their mouths meet in the middle. The muscles in Brendon’s back shift and bunch gorgeously as he leans forward, arms wrapped around Ryan’s shoulders.
Keltie squirms a bit in her seat because oh god, she almost forgot that this would be excruciatingly hot, and it isn’t anything like she expected, but it’s real and it’s happening.
Ryan licks his palm and wraps his long fingers around Brendon’s dick, moves his hand along the length lazily. Brendon moans softly against Ryan’s lips, hips pushing forward to match the rhythm of Ryan’s hand.
“Do you hear that Keltie?” Ryan turns to look straight at her, hand still moving. “It gets even better when he’s being fucked.”
Oh.
Brendon’s eyes slip closed and he pants against Ryan’s cheek, losing himself in it. “He’ll say he likes it best on his back so he can watch me come, see my face when it happens. But what he really likes is to take it on his hands and knees because that way I can fuck him harder, deeper.”
“Jesus, Ryan," Brendon moans. ”Cheating. You’re cheating.”
“Yes,” Keltie blurts out, hands inching to the top of her sweat pants.
“Yes what, baby?” Ryan teases, sucking a bruise into Brendon’s shoulder, hand still working him, and his eyes never leave hers because he’s still checking to make sure she’s okay, that this is actually what she wants, and she’s never loved him more.
“Yes, I want to see.” She gasps softly, because she didn’t actually say that out loud did she? Ryan smiles and bites at Brendon’s shoulder. She did, she said all of that. Brendon moans low and pushes up on his knees spreading his legs wider, grabs onto Ryan’s shoulders to anchor himself.
“Yes. C’mon, Ryan. C’mon.” Brendon chants as he watches Ryan hesitate for a second, obviously thrown off by gaining Brendon’s permission too. He doesn’t usually top, Keltie definitely remembers that part.
But she thinks it’s probably all the same to Brendon, who’s doing the fucking and who’s getting fucked, as long as something’s happening, as long as it feels good. He plays into the power dynamics because Ryan likes it, but she can also see that Brendon, he likes to throw out the rules too, make up his own as he goes along, maybe just to spite Ryan half the time, or just force him to think outside of his immediate expectations.
Brendon grabs the lube from the bed and swings it in front of Ryan’s face, “This would be good right about now.” Ryan snatches it from him, mumbles, “fucker” under his breath as he quickly uncaps it and lubes up his fingers.
Then he reaches behind Brendon to spread his cheeks, rubbing without pushing in yet, challenging. “Don’t fuck around, asshole. I’ll change my mind, and then Keltie can watch you beg for it. You want that?” Ryan bites at his bottom lip but his chin is up defiantly, maybe he does.
Brendon’s pushing back into it, and Ryan finally lets one finger press in while Brendon’s rutting just a bit into Ryan’s stomach like he can’t help it. And Keltie can hardly stand it herself, can hardly stand to watch Ryan’s long fingers push in and pull out again, first one then two at the same time, then three, disappearing inside Brendon’s body as he groans through it.
She wants someone to touch her, oh god, wants fingers in her, on her.
Then Brendon starts talking, and Keltie just listens, helpless against the pull of his voice. “Kel, Keltie, do you know what this feels like? His hands, Keltie. Ever let Ryan stretch you, tear you apart like this? Nothing. Nothing compares to the burn of it, but it’s so good. So fucking good.”
She has. She wants that now, Ryan’s hands on her, in her. Wants Brendon’s voice rumbling low right against her ear. Wants Brendon’s hands too and his mouth, oh god, his mouth.
Brendon quickly reaches for the condoms and tears one packet open with his teeth. Keltie doesn’t have a clear view, but she can tell by the way Ryan’s mouth opens and his eyes close, the way his body tenses, that Brendon’s touching him, rolling the condom on.
She knows what Ryan looks like when he’s being touched.
Brendon whispers something to Ryan, close to his ear so she can’t hear, and Ryan nods, eyes flicking over to her just once. Ryan pulls his fingers out and Brendon twists away, gets on his hands and knees without hesitating. Ryan gets up behind Brendon, pushes his fingers back in immediately.
“Fuck. I’m ready, asshole. C’mon,” Brendon growls impatiently, but then his whole body tenses and trembles. “Jesus. Ryan,” Brendon pants desperately, sweaty from exertion, from anticipation. Keltie watches Ryan pull his fingers out slowly and Brendon whines at the loss but braces himself for what’s coming, head bowed, fingers fisting the coarse hotel sheets. Ryan lines himself up and pushes forward a little at a time, breathing in sharp intakes.
Once he’s all the way in, Brendon pushes back, encouraging Ryan to move. Silent communication that comes with knowing each other. Ryan grips Brendon’s hips and pulls out and pushes back in, just once, but it’s forceful and deliberate, makes Brendon cry out and shudder, mouth wide.
“Yes,” he hisses. And Ryan moans too before he starts a brutal but steady rhythm, building up to something deeper with every thrust. And Keltie’s never seen him like this, a bit darker and forceful, more reckless, and she thinks maybe he’s always been holding back on her because he thought that’s what she wanted. Brendon, he never wants Ryan to hold back on him, and Ryan believes him, gives him everything.
Or maybe she just never knew what she really wanted. Keltie knows what she wants now, and it has nothing to do with soft or delicate or easy.
She wants them to crush her between them, she wants hard and rough and she wants slow and torturous. She wants it all.
“Tell me, Brendon,” and she doesn’t even recognize her own voice, the way it’s demanding yet shaking, still unsure of this ache tearing at her insides.
Brendon smiles wide, panting, eyes closed, like he’s especially pleased that she’s asking, like he was waiting for it. “It’s-God Keltie. I’m- full, so full and stretched, ripped apart. Good, so good. Like I want more but I don’t because, fuck, it’s almost. Almost too much but not enough and-ah, everything.” Keltie can’t stop the moan from escaping her throat, thighs squeezing together because her clit is throbbing now, aching for some kind of contact.
Brendon’s watching her now, watching her squirm in the chair, hand inching between her thighs.
“Oh baby. You want to touch yourself? Wanna get off while you watch us fuck?” Brendon says in that bleeding sex voice of his. The same one that could convince Keltie to do anything, anything at all. All he would have to do is ask.
Brendon pushes up on his knees, kneeling, and leans into Ryan, back flush against Ryan’s front. Ryan holds him close with an arm across his chest, still deep inside, but he grunts in disapproval because he can’t do much besides rock gently in this position with nothing to push against, but Brendon doesn’t seem to be in any hurry. He rocks back in tiny motions, hips tilting forward, and nuzzles back along Ryan’s jaw says, “Look at how pretty she is all flushed and hot like that, Ryan. She wants to get off, should we let her?”
Ryan looks at her, eyes half closed, says, “C’mere, Keltie. C’mere.”
No, oh no. That’s not.
Keltie feels like crying, because god she wants too, wants to throw herself in the middle of this because she can’t stand being so far away anymore, but this isn’t what was supposed to happen.
She didn’t plan for wanting this.
“Want you, baby. C’mere,” Brendon purrs.
She stands on shaky legs, still unsure but willing to do anything right now, even if that means this is the only time she’ll ever be a part of it all. When she gets close enough, Brendon takes her hand and pulls her towards him so she’s kneeling on the bed facing them, flush against Brendon, cock pressing hot and solid into her thigh, skin sweat slick against her hands where they’re gripping his shoulders, so tight.
Brendon presses his lips to her neck while Ryan kisses her knuckles. She shivers as Brendon’s fingertips brush under her shirt over her lower stomach, pushing her sweat pants further down her hips. “Is this okay? You have to tell me, us, if it isn’t.” Sincerity drips from his voice, curling into her, soothing. She looks over his shoulder at Ryan and Ryan nods, whispers, “It’s okay, we both want this.”
Keltie pulls Brendon to look at her, threads her fingers through his damp hair, and brings their lips together softly. He opens almost immediately, tongue playing against her own. It’s different, the way he kisses is different compared to Ryan. Ryan’s methodical about it, careful and deliberate. Brendon, he’s everywhere at once, and not as gentle, like he would kiss her the same if she were anyone, but he still makes her feel like she’s the only one he ever wants to be kissing.
His hands fist her t-shirt, bringing it up and over her breasts. Brendon pulls it over her head quickly before kissing her again. She’s distracted by Brendon’s mouth, so very distracted, but eventually she feels the push of his body coming harder and harder into her own.
Oh god, Ryan’s still fucking him, still in him. That’s just-god.
“Fuck. I can’t,” she hears Ryan plead, breathing heavy.
Brendon pushes forward so Keltie is lying on her back, so he’s back on his hands and knees above her, and Ryan takes that as his chance to start pounding into him from behind. She does her best to kick off her sweat pants without getting them in the way of the tangled boys above her and Brendon tries to help, but he’s mostly a writhing moaning mess with other things on his mind, especially when Ryan reaches down and fists his cock.
Keltie knows when Ryan’s getting close, he’s been close for a while now, so it doesn’t take long before he’s coming hard and fast, gritting his teeth and moaning through it. Brendon follows shortly after, arches into it, spilling come over her stomach and Ryan’s hand.
Brendon collapses heavy on top of her after Ryan pulls out, and she holds him there, slides her fingers through his wet hair, mostly not caring about the come drying sticky between them. She spreads her legs wide so he can rest against her, softening cock rubbing wetly against her thigh and panties.
“Fuck, how are you not naked yet?” Brendon says smiling wide, body still trembling and heaving as he starts to trace his tongue along the top edge of her bra. “Want you naked. Want you trembling and moaning. Want you.” She pushes up a bit and unclasps her bra, letting it fall off her shoulders. Brendon stares for a second, mouth open.
“Oh. Oh Ryan Ross has been holding out on me. I haven’t seen a good pair of breasts in so long.” He palms both, then licks and sucks at her nipples enthusiastically.
“Fuck.” Ryan. Keltie looks over at him standing at the foot of the bed, condom disposed of, eyes lust heavy.
Brendon laughs, looks at Ryan over his shoulder, says to Keltie, “He likes watching too.”
Brendon’s eyes are shining again, and Keltie forgets to breathe.
“Can I?” he asks and Keltie sighs and nods. Don’t ask, she thinks, you don’t need to ask. She feels the pads of his calloused fingertips inch closer to her center, then finally, finally he pushes her panties aside and strokes between her wet folds. He finds her clit quickly and she moans at the contact.
“Yeah?” He says pressing his fingers there, right there.
“Yeah. God yes,” she hisses, spreading her legs even wider, lower back arching with the feel of it. She feels the bed dip, and Ryan’s hand wraps around her ankle.
“Mmm. That’s what you wanted while you were watching Ryan fuck me, isn’t it? Someone to touch you there, someone to make you come. Did you want my hands? Ryan’s hands?” He licks across her ear. “My mouth?”
“Everything,” she gasps.
He looks at her then, and she feels torn open from the inside. Like he gets it, understands what she means by everything. He kisses her deep for a few second then pulls back.
His stubble tickles against her skin as he rubs his cheek down her torso pressing opened mouth kisses there, licking at the come on her stomach, her abs, making them quiver. He eases her panties down her legs and Keltie kicks them off quickly.
Then she’s opening her thighs wide and Brendon’s right there, spreading her open so he can rub at her clit hard and fast now. She closes her eyes, pants through the building heat in her pelvis, body shaking, and just when she’s about to crash over the edge Brendon stops and circles around her clit instead of touching it directly. Keltie pants and whimpers, and Brendon smiles up at her as he arranges her so one knee is over his shoulder. In the next moment she forgives him though, because his mouth is there with his fingers and he’s licking and sucking her now, hard and relentless.
“He’s good with his mouth,” Ryan smiles knowingly. Keltie moans in agreement, because oh yes. Yes, he is.
Then they’re both there. Ryan presses kisses to her knee, the inside of her thigh, hands sinking into Brendon’s hair. Brendon pulls Ryan to him when he comes up to breathe, lips swollen and shiny wet. Ryan goes for his mouth immediately, kisses him sloppily, all tongues and teeth and soft breathy moans.
Fuck. They can’t keep doing this to her.
“Stop teasing me, oh my god, you’re fucking hot together, I get it okay, but I need-" They both look at her in surprise. Okay, that was louder than she intended, but whatever. It isn’t fair. What they’re doing to her isn’t fair. Don’t they know?
“Get her off. Stop being a dick,” Ryan says, shoving Brendon’s shoulder. Brendon laughs easily as he presses his mouth against Ryan’s once more and tugs at his bottom lip with his teeth before settling back down to driving her crazy with his mouth. Ryan moves up to kiss her and she holds him to her lips as her body tenses and her thighs tremble.
Then she’s coming, the word finally repeating over and over again in her mind as she cries out, but she probably says it out loud too, because Ryan’s smiling against her lips. Brendon doesn’t let up, keeps licking her through it and she hasn’t come that hard or that long in well- ever.
And this is it, this is the part where she spills her insides all over the floor and watches everything crumble down around her.
“I don’t care, Ryan. Brendon, I don’t care if it’s stupid or selfish or if it falls apart tomorrow,” she pleads through her orgasmic haze, fingers digging into the back of Ryan’s neck as she watches Brendon lick at his lips after he raises up. And she hauls Brendon to her, kisses him hard, tasting herself on his tongue. “Want you both so much.” Then she’s dragging her tongue across Ryan’s mouth, kissing him too.
“That’s the plan, baby,” Ryan whispers right against her ear and it makes her shiver. Brendon smiles wickedly, that genius plan smile of his that means trouble. Those fuckers planned all of this, all of it. Keltie laughs, feels lighter and ready to cry and achingly warm and hysterical all at the same time. Brendon twists away, grabbing two condoms from the floor where they fell off the bed, and the lube too. God, if he needs all of those things, that means-
“You decide who goes where,” Ryan says. And Keltie, she doesn’t much care who goes where, as long as they’re both there, both with her and in her, god, even in each other. As long as it feels good and right, and as long as they keep giving her everything because this, this is them, this is how she fits with them, how she always wants to fit with them.
End.
The Sequel to this is: The Inevitable Catch (Completed September 08)