Believe Me
Title: Believe Me
Author: samdek95
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Romance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: In which Jongwoon decides that it is time and Kyuhyun is unwilling to let it happen.
♥규 성♥
To think that Jongwoon and Kyuhyun would ever be in a relationship was laughable. The idea was hilarious and probably the last thing anyone would think when it came to the idea of being in love with another member in the band. Everyone had placed bets on who would become the first real pairing of Super Junior and everyone had suspected the there was something big between Hyukjae and Donghae; not Jongwoon and Kyuhyun.
So when the pair told the rest of Super Junior that they loved each other with all their hearts, everyone laughed and said it would never last. But they knew they had each other and that was all that mattered.
They were the two lead voices of Super Junior; two dancing machines who loved to bust out their moves just to embarrass the rest of the band; two males hopelessly and embarrassingly in love.
At the end of the day, they didn’t mind too much that they had to keep their displays of affection behind closed doors and were not able to do the usual cheesy romantic dates that they had watched on romantic films, because at the end of the day they knew that they would be able to hold each other’s hands and just lie down in a comfortable silence satisfied merely by each other’s presence.
It was embarrassing how much they loved each other - they didn’t even know how it happened in the first place. Jongwoon suspected that he first started to think of Kyuhyun more than a dongsaeng when he received that dreaded phone call back in 2007 about the horrific crash that left Kyuhyun and three other Super Junior members hospitalized. The heartache he had to endure of not knowing about Kyuhyun’s wellbeing broke his heart further and so when Kyuhyun was discharged from hospital 78 days later, Jongwoon couldn’t help but shower him with extra love and looked after the maknae that little bit more than he did with his other dongsaengs. Kyuhyun suspected that he possibly liked Jongwoon that tiny bit more than a brotherly sense when he first stepped foot into the Super Junior dorm but only realised these feeling of emotions when they were up on stage touring around the world and found himself being jealous whenever he saw Siwon clinging off the side of Jongwoon’s neck - that neck should be his to hang off!
It wasn’t until Kyuhyun finally stormed into Jongwoon’s bedroom one night and proclaimed his words of affection knowing that it could have potentially ruined his friendship with Jongwoon that he could finally take a deep breath and release the tension that he had held in for years. Though now, he would gladly ruin his already ruined friendship for another one of those addictive kisses that he would always get subjected to before they went to bed each and every night.
They were aware of the hardships that they would have to face from being two males in a society where homosexual relationships were seen as sinful. They didn’t care - they had each other and that meant more to each other than anything else. They were two men, oblivious to the potential dangers of one mistaken action. Too oblivious.
♥규 성♥
“I think we should end this.” Kyuhyun couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had cut down on the amount of alcohol he drank. He had cut down on the amount of time he spent playing Starcraft and other various video games. He had cut down the amount of time he spent with his friends like Changmin just so that he could spend as much time with Jongwoon as possible.
“What did I do wrong?” Kyuhyun always tried to give Jongwoon enough space and freedom to keep their relationship strong. He could not understand how Jongwoon could suddenly just want to break up with him.
“It isn’t you, Kyu ah. I love you so much and I always will. But I am getting old and I am due to leave for the army soon. My letter has come and I will have to go sooner or later.” Tears were evidently welling up at the base of Jongwoon’s eyes as he explained his reasons to the younger male.
“Hyung, please don’t say this. I love you too much and I am not ready for this to be over. Please, hyung.”
“Kyu ah, it was a mistake on both our parts to even have had anything going on in the first place. Inevitably, the date of my enlistment would just come closer and closer and now it is just round the corner.”
“I can’t live without you, hyung. Please don’t end it like this.” Kyuhyun was a sobbing mess but he didn’t care. He would willingly lose all his dignity just to have the one person he loved to be next to him.
“Kyu ah, please don’t make it hard for us.”
“But I love you. Please, just one more night. Tomorrow, I will be your dongsaeng; but just tonight, please be there for me, hyung.”
The remainder of that night was a smother of kisses and hugs; sleeping together in each other’s arms whilst not willing to let each other go because at the end of the day, they were still the same two men hopelessly in love with each other that would have to part and start a new chapter of their lives on two separate paths.
♥규 성♥
Kyuhyun distanced himself from that day onwards, knowing that if he had any form of contact with Jongwoon, his emotions would become a mess and he would end up begging for the elder to accept him again.
At the end of the day, he knew that he would never be able to let Jongwoon go. His feelings for the turtle lover were too strong and he would never be able to find someone else to replace him. Jongwoon was his first and only real love. There was no other way to describe how embarrassingly in love Kyuhyun was with Jongwoon.
It was heartbreaking to see that Jongwoon was coping just fine without him, being surrounded by Siwon and Donghae to keep him company. He wished so much that it was him keeping the elder company in the form of hugs and kisses. He couldn’t understand how he had managed to fall so hard for this one guy. He was certain that he was straight until he stepped foot into the Super Junior dorm all those years back and found a certain black haired male staring at him sheepishly. It wasn’t love at first sight, but there was definitely something going on right from the very beginning.
He couldn’t handle watching the people keenest on skinship hugging and kissing what was his, yet he couldn’t go up to stop them because Jongwoon wasn’t his. Jongwoon was so close and yet so far and he hated it.
Jongwoon watched as Kyuhyun stormed out of the living room. Kyuhyun hadn’t taken their break up as well as he had hoped for but he had to put on a brave face as well because at the bottom of his heart, he still loved Kyuhyun too much for his own good. He had to stay away because soon he would have to leave for two years and being separated for that long would probably kill him internally.
“You shouldn’t just sit there, Jongwoon. See if he is alright.” Jongwoon turned to look at Siwon with sad eyes.
“I can’t. It will make it much harder for him and me.”
“They say that if you love something you should set it free; if it comes back, it’s yours. It is obvious both you two love each other so much. He wants to be yours forever, Jongwoon. Don’t you see it?”
♥규 성♥
Jongwoon quietly opened the door to Kyuhyun’s bedroom to find the male tense and crying into his pillow.
“Go away! I don’t want to see anyone.” Kyuhyun threw one of his side pillows in the direction of the door without looking up once. He was always self-conscious when it came to people finding him in a pool of tears. It was embarrassing because he was the snarky maknae who doesn’t get affect by anything - well except by Jongwoon.
“Kyu ah.” Kyuhyun broke into another fresh set of tears after hearing Jongwoon’s voice. It was easier said than done to refrain from getting out of bed and press Jongwoon against the wall into another one of those heated kisses they had every now and then.
“I said go away! Jongwoon, please just go away. I can’t handle the fact that I love you so much but you refuse to accept it. Please, Jongwoon. Please accept me again. I will change everything there is about me just for you. I love you so much. Please…” Jongwoon sat down on top of the bed, hugging the crying male in his arms.
“I love you so much too, Kyuhyun. I was too scared to keep our relationship going when I know that I will have to go very soon.”
“I know, hyung, and I will miss you loads; but knowing that you aren’t mine will be the thing that breaks me over the next two years.” Kyuhyun’s tears subsided as he took deep breaths, inhaling the sweet scent of cinnamon and coffee that he loved so much. “Please, hyung…”
“Kyuhyunnie…” Jongwoon looked down to see the sincere eyes before him staring up at him lovingly.
If you love something you should set it free; if it comes back, it’s yours.
“I am forever yours.” Jongwoon slowly closed the gap between his face and Kyuhyun’s, connecting their lips together in perfect synchronisation. The taste of saltiness from Kyuhyun’s wet face touching their taste buds as they continued their sweet kiss. They pulled apart, smiling at each other with cheeky grins; Jongwoon’s cheek sprinkled with a light shade of crimson.
“Don’t ever say things like that again, hyung. I will wait for you while you are in the army and think about you everyday because I love you and you only, believe me.”
And Jongwoon did.
-Fin
Word Count: 1,704