3 am

Dec 17, 2006 04:09

i don't know what it is about this time, but the feeling of waking up, looking at the clock, and feeling queasy has become too familiar ( Read more... )

relationships holidays

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technomage December 17 2006, 15:49:20 UTC
Owwie (hugs). You're travails of dating are so scarey to me, which may surprised you. I made the decision that ended my own marriage, just as certainly as if I'd said "I want a divorce." That doesn't eliminate the fear of dating and being alone.
Special K and I had the closest thing we've had to a fight last night. I swear she makes some decisions I don't understand with her son. I should have said something in advance, but don't know what my place is yet and I was handed the decisions as a completed package. In the "I think this was a mistake" discussion she was very forthright that she makes mistakes. I'm concerned... her son could be the only thing to blow us apart.
You keep getting very close to people, and it seems to be a very quick thing. How long were you seeing this guy? It may be time to look for patterns in the recent relationships and see if you're either attracting the wrong men, or perhaps your putting on a mask you can't maintain in the initial stages of dating. We all put on our best face for first dates... but its important that face be a reflection of our everyday game face.
BTW, these aren't critiques... I would love to help. You're a wonderful woman, L, and I want you to be happy.

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saltymargarita December 17 2006, 16:15:36 UTC
thank you, Ric. i was seeing him almost 3 months. things were good...relaxed...not pressured. i don't think i'm putting on a mask..in fact that's why it was important to me that he want to read my blog...to know more of the real me. i'm trying to look at each relationship as a learning experience--both of me and what i want in a mate--both these men had qualities i really admire. sometimes things are not going to turn out. it's scary. i feel very lonely right now and want to be held. but i won't go back on match.

let me know if you're anywhere in the neighborhood over the holidays. i hope that you and k work through these things--but i know how kids can put a huge divider...and moms are protective...even when they're wrong.

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