It may just be hormones....
but right now, I really have an "I don't care about my husband or his well being." This morning when I went to move his pants, that he has no clue how to put in the laundry, his underwear fell out. I picked it up and it was stiff on part of it. I didn't know what it was so I smelled it. Lone and behold it smelled like semen. So, did he jack off and not clean it all up? Did he go get a BJ and not clean up? I don't know. Didn't smell like condoms or sex just semen. So him and I need to have a talk. Also I'm going to bring up him going to AFF again and see if he lies to me again. If so I think it will be time to start to putting into action the alternative solution.
Here is the thing, I want to trust my husband, I want to say without a doubt that I love him... but I can't. I seriously can't trust someone who can out right lie to me and still look me in the eye. So, something has got to give, something has got to change. I can care for my kids without him or his family around. Justin and Raven are okay in small doses. His mother I can live without her in my life or my kids life. I really don't like her and when Jon is out at sea she is not welcome at my home. Only when Jon is home and in port can she visit and even then she isn't staying under my roof. I MUST have my own place to relax without the bitch there. I blame here for the way he acts. Because of her fucking around on her second husband, I believe that Jon thinks that this behavior is okay and normal. We all not its not normal unless it is a clear understanding that is an open relationship/marriage... which in this case it is far from it and is very much a closed relationship.
I want a loving relationship with a man who is open and honest with me. That must be just too much to ask of the men of this world.
Here is the thing, I want to trust my husband, I want to say without a doubt that I love him... but I can't. I seriously can't trust someone who can out right lie to me and still look me in the eye. So, something has got to give, something has got to change. I can care for my kids without him or his family around. Justin and Raven are okay in small doses. His mother I can live without her in my life or my kids life. I really don't like her and when Jon is out at sea she is not welcome at my home. Only when Jon is home and in port can she visit and even then she isn't staying under my roof. I MUST have my own place to relax without the bitch there. I blame here for the way he acts. Because of her fucking around on her second husband, I believe that Jon thinks that this behavior is okay and normal. We all not its not normal unless it is a clear understanding that is an open relationship/marriage... which in this case it is far from it and is very much a closed relationship.
I want a loving relationship with a man who is open and honest with me. That must be just too much to ask of the men of this world.