Can't Find Me Love: sunday_reveries 5-17 #6
"Her life was a slow realization that the world was not for her, and that for whatever reason, she would never be happy and honest at the same time. She addressed the world honestly, searching for something deserving of the volumes of love she knew she had within her, but to each she would have to say, I don't love you."
-Jonathan Safran Foer
Soleil opened her eyes and immediately wished she hadn't. She was getting too old for the hangovers and "coyote ugly" bullshit. Granted, the guy in bed next to her wasn't that bad looking, but the pounding in her head wouldn't let her remember what the hell his name was. Mike? Matt?
She tried not to groan as she climbed out from between the cheap motel sheets, and grabbed up her stuff. She changed in the bathroom, just to make sure she wouldn't wake up what's-his-name. Soleil looked longingly at the shower, but couldn't risk it. She wanted to be a hundred miles away before he realized she was gone.
And then there was that dream. Most of it was vague and foggy, but from the few things that did make sense, it sounded like something huge was happening somewhere in Maryland. And it was bad. Apocalyptic bad. And she needed to get out there pronto.
Honesty came with a cup of coffee, a Pony and an open road. All her life, she'd felt that the world had never revolved around her. Everything that happened, everything she did, served some higher power. Her mother's institutionalization was a warning not to dabble in things half-way. Her going to Nana's taught her what she needed to know about things that went bump in the night. Her gift had taken her to places she never would have visited otherwise.
At the end of the day, she just wanted to be happy. She wanted the life she hadn't had. She wanted her kids to have a mama and daddy who loved them. But first, she'd have to find Mr. Right, and all she'd had were a bunch of Mr. Right-Nows. They didn't love her any more than she'd loved them. They were just a way to keep her from feeling lonely. She was all she had in this world. Mama had died in that asylum and Nana had been gone for fourteen years.
She didn't feel sorry for herself, not really, not when she'd helped so many others. To her, every time she vanquished another spirit or whatever, she felt a little bit closer to her mother. And every time she stopped, she found someone new. Someone she wanted to love. Someone she wanted to love her back. But then the dreams would start and she'd have to leave again, knowing with brutal honesty that love just wasn't in the cards for her.
{ Soleil Benoit }{ Supernatural OC }{ 408 Words (not incl. quote) }
Music: Highway Junkie ~ Gary Allan
-Jonathan Safran Foer
Soleil opened her eyes and immediately wished she hadn't. She was getting too old for the hangovers and "coyote ugly" bullshit. Granted, the guy in bed next to her wasn't that bad looking, but the pounding in her head wouldn't let her remember what the hell his name was. Mike? Matt?
She tried not to groan as she climbed out from between the cheap motel sheets, and grabbed up her stuff. She changed in the bathroom, just to make sure she wouldn't wake up what's-his-name. Soleil looked longingly at the shower, but couldn't risk it. She wanted to be a hundred miles away before he realized she was gone.
And then there was that dream. Most of it was vague and foggy, but from the few things that did make sense, it sounded like something huge was happening somewhere in Maryland. And it was bad. Apocalyptic bad. And she needed to get out there pronto.
Honesty came with a cup of coffee, a Pony and an open road. All her life, she'd felt that the world had never revolved around her. Everything that happened, everything she did, served some higher power. Her mother's institutionalization was a warning not to dabble in things half-way. Her going to Nana's taught her what she needed to know about things that went bump in the night. Her gift had taken her to places she never would have visited otherwise.
At the end of the day, she just wanted to be happy. She wanted the life she hadn't had. She wanted her kids to have a mama and daddy who loved them. But first, she'd have to find Mr. Right, and all she'd had were a bunch of Mr. Right-Nows. They didn't love her any more than she'd loved them. They were just a way to keep her from feeling lonely. She was all she had in this world. Mama had died in that asylum and Nana had been gone for fourteen years.
She didn't feel sorry for herself, not really, not when she'd helped so many others. To her, every time she vanquished another spirit or whatever, she felt a little bit closer to her mother. And every time she stopped, she found someone new. Someone she wanted to love. Someone she wanted to love her back. But then the dreams would start and she'd have to leave again, knowing with brutal honesty that love just wasn't in the cards for her.
{ Soleil Benoit }{ Supernatural OC }{ 408 Words (not incl. quote) }
Music: Highway Junkie ~ Gary Allan