*sigh*
So here I go questioning myself again. Sometimes I feel like my passion is too much for people around me to handle, because no one around me shares those passions, at least not to the degree that I do. Like my feminism, for example. Or my disgust of wasteful spending. Or wasting food. Or immigrant rights. For many of my friends, I can be too intense when it comes to those things.
I've been ranting a lot lately, and I can tell the people around me don't really know how to deal with it. Maybe it is pointless whining and bitching, and sure, they listen because they're my friends, but I can tell that they're sort of shocked sometimes at the level I oppose things. I know bitching about work is kind of pointless and ineffectual, but I need to blow off steam because it stresses me out. No one likes a whiner, I know. I need my therapist.
But for other things, I need some sort of platform in which I can freely express my opinions without annoying people. It's not to say that my friends don't respect my opinions, but I can understand that if they don't feel strongly about a subject, they're not going to want to hear me rant about it all the time. And I certainly am not going to suppress these feelings because they will explode. I need to direct them elsewhere, where someone will listen and care, and where something can come out of them.
To illustrate:
Yesterday when I came home I told my roommates about the latest office dilemna with the same woman who has been breathing down my neck about this project I'm doing for her during the past several weeks. They were just chilling in the room, watching TV. Then as I was walking out I noticed that they were watching "My Super Sweet Sixteen" or whatever it's called and I just said that nothing annoyed me more than rich spoiled brat girls. They just responded, sort of taken aback, "damn, woman!" and "do you want us to change the channel?"
I guess I was worked up from the whole work thing, but then I explained to them that it was not a criticism of their watching the show, just of rich spoiled brat girls in general. I know Steph and Stace were poking fun at those girls anyway. I just have no respect for those girls in the show.
Today I mentioned to one of my coworkers about maybe marching for immigrant rights on Sunday which led to an hour-long discussion/debate on illegal immigration. While it did force me to think deeper about my views to strengthen my points, I still got really worked up because I was so angry at the whole situation of poor, starving Latinos having nowhere to turn, Mexico's government and economy being fucked up, and the status quo. I didn't say anything offensive or anything, but she could sense my being upset. I don't really have experience with debate so it's not my strong point, but I do retain a lot of knowledge and I analyze things a lot, so at least I can argue on an intellectual level, somewhat. It's frustrating sometimes when I argue by myself and I feel that I didn't get my point across. I'm definitely not cut out for politics. On the other hand, she has plenty of experience with political science.
Anyhoo.
So after that, I told my coworker about some event planning issue I had had earlier in the week with one of the Honors Program administrators and she said, "Man, you're on a roll today!" She was polite and cool with me but her withdrawal from dialogue clued me in to her discomfort, or at least that is what I interpreted.
At one point during one of our conversations she said, "I'm not a feminist, but..." and I had to bite my tongue. She is a feminist in my mind because she believes in egalitarianism. Feminism needs to be redefined.
I totally respect the fact that we all have different opinions. I certainly don't expect nor want all my friends to agree with me on everything. But at the same time, with some of the things that I'm really passionate about, I wish I had someone who felt the same way so I didn't feel like a sore thumb. Someone to rant with, to protest with. Someone who could fill up the gaps in my arguments.
I've been ranting a lot lately, and I can tell the people around me don't really know how to deal with it. Maybe it is pointless whining and bitching, and sure, they listen because they're my friends, but I can tell that they're sort of shocked sometimes at the level I oppose things. I know bitching about work is kind of pointless and ineffectual, but I need to blow off steam because it stresses me out. No one likes a whiner, I know. I need my therapist.
But for other things, I need some sort of platform in which I can freely express my opinions without annoying people. It's not to say that my friends don't respect my opinions, but I can understand that if they don't feel strongly about a subject, they're not going to want to hear me rant about it all the time. And I certainly am not going to suppress these feelings because they will explode. I need to direct them elsewhere, where someone will listen and care, and where something can come out of them.
To illustrate:
Yesterday when I came home I told my roommates about the latest office dilemna with the same woman who has been breathing down my neck about this project I'm doing for her during the past several weeks. They were just chilling in the room, watching TV. Then as I was walking out I noticed that they were watching "My Super Sweet Sixteen" or whatever it's called and I just said that nothing annoyed me more than rich spoiled brat girls. They just responded, sort of taken aback, "damn, woman!" and "do you want us to change the channel?"
I guess I was worked up from the whole work thing, but then I explained to them that it was not a criticism of their watching the show, just of rich spoiled brat girls in general. I know Steph and Stace were poking fun at those girls anyway. I just have no respect for those girls in the show.
Today I mentioned to one of my coworkers about maybe marching for immigrant rights on Sunday which led to an hour-long discussion/debate on illegal immigration. While it did force me to think deeper about my views to strengthen my points, I still got really worked up because I was so angry at the whole situation of poor, starving Latinos having nowhere to turn, Mexico's government and economy being fucked up, and the status quo. I didn't say anything offensive or anything, but she could sense my being upset. I don't really have experience with debate so it's not my strong point, but I do retain a lot of knowledge and I analyze things a lot, so at least I can argue on an intellectual level, somewhat. It's frustrating sometimes when I argue by myself and I feel that I didn't get my point across. I'm definitely not cut out for politics. On the other hand, she has plenty of experience with political science.
Anyhoo.
So after that, I told my coworker about some event planning issue I had had earlier in the week with one of the Honors Program administrators and she said, "Man, you're on a roll today!" She was polite and cool with me but her withdrawal from dialogue clued me in to her discomfort, or at least that is what I interpreted.
At one point during one of our conversations she said, "I'm not a feminist, but..." and I had to bite my tongue. She is a feminist in my mind because she believes in egalitarianism. Feminism needs to be redefined.
I totally respect the fact that we all have different opinions. I certainly don't expect nor want all my friends to agree with me on everything. But at the same time, with some of the things that I'm really passionate about, I wish I had someone who felt the same way so I didn't feel like a sore thumb. Someone to rant with, to protest with. Someone who could fill up the gaps in my arguments.