spinning round, pinning you down....

[salparadise87]

and perhaps this is merely an occupational hazard, but i have become a caricature. the joke that my features and mannerisms played on my parents is over. the moment of me as isntrument of the divine geneological comedy is over. time laughs forever and never grows hoarse. (and maybe i could tell you that he laughs as he slipps along a silver spiral floating in an inky void, down, and around and around his laugh will come, growing smaller, growing longer, till he passes the spot where you lie sleeping, you lie dreaming, you lay half listening, and he'll just keep on goin till the cackles get stretched shorter and shorter and lower and lower untill he has totally passed you bye...(and i shall not close this parenthesis, no i shall not close it because i too am between things, and between things things shall be untill my feet are upon that other shore...untill my fingers find it smooth, untill it yeilds to the coarse breathing of the surf against it...o how the sand is smooth like you, smooth where the lip of the last wave finally fell and kissed the shore...

and one day, perhaps i too shall be made a mockery of. perhaps i shall se my own smile laugh back at me, my own eyes tear at something i denied them.

but the pull, the current, to say to all of this, that you do not exist, waxes with the spring.

this might just be the first summer free from tyranny.

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on a different note, how odd.

i am and always have been ready to change. now. to get on with it, now.

and my one complaint is that the moment never comes.