The End is Near
I don't remember how much detail I've shared about this situation but I think it was Monday I was carrying a 50 lb bag of chicken feed to the shed when he tried to start a conversation.
He says, "I really think I should give you some money"
"For what?" I say
"Well, if I stay a month I think I should give you something" he mumbles
"Umm...don't you think if you are going to be with her for that long you should find another place to stay?!"
I am staring at him with my sternest motherly eyes! I've had four years practice!
He has no real response and kind of wanders off.
I'm telling you he is weird. I have no real problem with weird except when said weird is living in my house and I had no say in the decision. I tried to talk to CJ about it and she said she had no idea he planned to stay that long. I try stern eyes on her but she is immune....I think its a woman thing.
So...after maybe two short simple conversations with CJ about my mom wanting someone to take care of her house and another about me not being ok with you know who staying here for a freaking month, CJ and that other person have moved out tonight to my mom's place. Well, they moved all their sleeping and working stuff. She'll come back for the rest, plus the cats on Friday. I'm sure its the best for us, well everyone really, but I'm reeling a little from it. I know, I wanted it to happen but I never really adjust quickly to change. It takes me a while. I am very glad they are moving out. I already feel so much lighter internally, but I feel guilt. Guilt for wanting it this way, guilt for not saying anything sooner, guilt for saying something now and then seeing results, guilt for feeling this happy about it. So basically I am one big guilty shitball! YAY! Its just how I operate. I'm getting used to the feeling. Problem is, if I get used to it how do I know when the guilt is valid? See, its just this horrible hole I get sucked into!!
Anyways, we are now making plans for the room. We're thinking it would make a good home office. If we can get a signal back there. I might make it into my winter garden room. Its got a wonderful southern window that is perfect for seed starting if February. I couldn't use it last February...see above paragraph.....
On the knitting front I have started two new projects this week. Yeah, I know. I started the Clementine Shawl from IK and then last night I started Nob Hill. I love it! Clementine is hard to keep track and requires my attention and we all know how fleeting that is...But Nob Hill is easy, bulky and I might be done by this weekend. WooHoo! I haven't finished anything since the Frontier Jacket mostly cause I've been doing a lot of planting and stressing..and school...oh and itching from the mangoes which is getting better finally!!
He says, "I really think I should give you some money"
"For what?" I say
"Well, if I stay a month I think I should give you something" he mumbles
"Umm...don't you think if you are going to be with her for that long you should find another place to stay?!"
I am staring at him with my sternest motherly eyes! I've had four years practice!
He has no real response and kind of wanders off.
I'm telling you he is weird. I have no real problem with weird except when said weird is living in my house and I had no say in the decision. I tried to talk to CJ about it and she said she had no idea he planned to stay that long. I try stern eyes on her but she is immune....I think its a woman thing.
So...after maybe two short simple conversations with CJ about my mom wanting someone to take care of her house and another about me not being ok with you know who staying here for a freaking month, CJ and that other person have moved out tonight to my mom's place. Well, they moved all their sleeping and working stuff. She'll come back for the rest, plus the cats on Friday. I'm sure its the best for us, well everyone really, but I'm reeling a little from it. I know, I wanted it to happen but I never really adjust quickly to change. It takes me a while. I am very glad they are moving out. I already feel so much lighter internally, but I feel guilt. Guilt for wanting it this way, guilt for not saying anything sooner, guilt for saying something now and then seeing results, guilt for feeling this happy about it. So basically I am one big guilty shitball! YAY! Its just how I operate. I'm getting used to the feeling. Problem is, if I get used to it how do I know when the guilt is valid? See, its just this horrible hole I get sucked into!!
Anyways, we are now making plans for the room. We're thinking it would make a good home office. If we can get a signal back there. I might make it into my winter garden room. Its got a wonderful southern window that is perfect for seed starting if February. I couldn't use it last February...see above paragraph.....
On the knitting front I have started two new projects this week. Yeah, I know. I started the Clementine Shawl from IK and then last night I started Nob Hill. I love it! Clementine is hard to keep track and requires my attention and we all know how fleeting that is...But Nob Hill is easy, bulky and I might be done by this weekend. WooHoo! I haven't finished anything since the Frontier Jacket mostly cause I've been doing a lot of planting and stressing..and school...oh and itching from the mangoes which is getting better finally!!