BitterCon

[sallytuppence]

Remember BitterCon? That's the con you go to when everybody else is off having fun at World Fantasy or something, and you have to stay home and work and nurse your grudges and cultivate your jealousy until it acquires a critical mass and

Comments

[msisolak]

I'm off to the kindermines, where the kids are tough and only take one-minute naps.

To prepare, I am first downing a vat of coffee, because NO ONE can enter the kindermines unprepared.

And woo! Maybe I'll get dressed next.

[sallytuppence]

This sounds like way too much excitement.

So are the kids on coffee, too?

[msisolak]

Luckily, no. Because otherwise?

The horror!

And that would be the wrong con.

[sallytuppence]

Heh.

My six-year-old is a tea drinker. He has a little teapot and cup and saucer and has a few cups before school. Sets him up real well for his busy day wrangling teachers.

[msisolak]

Oh, yes, the teacher wrangling. Youbetcha.

My lovely bitter experience of the day:

All my kinders in lunch line see another kinder teacher approaching with his class and scream, "Mr. White! Mr. White! Hi, Mr. White!"

I stare at them all, and say (only with a little bitterness, mind you) "So is Mr. White your favorite teacher?

They ALL answer "YES!"

I tell them I am running away from school and never coming back, whereupon they all take pity on me and lie that really I am their favorite teacher. (Until Wednesdays when Mr. White takes them out for PE.)

I will have to wrestle him for the title, I can tell. But I'm waiting for the end of BitterCon.

[sallytuppence]

"The bitter. The bitter."

[buymeaclue]

Is it really possible to be prepared for the kindermines?

[msisolak]

No matter how much one prepares for the kindermines, there is always a cave-in right near you, and no one else will dig you out.

(Kinder Maxim: Carry a granola bar, oxygen tank, and facemask in your pocket. Don't forget the parakeet.)