BitterCon
Remember BitterCon? That's the con you go to when everybody else is off having fun at World Fantasy or something, and you have to stay home and work and nurse your grudges and cultivate your jealousy until it acquires a critical mass and...
Well, I don't know what happens, but something explosive, probably.
So here we are at BitterCon. But we'll show them! Surely you're doing something more fun than flying into Austin today!
As for me, I'm drinking a turbo-charged cup of coffee! And I'm at work! And later, I might drink another cup of coffee!!
Update: Okay, so far we've got hairbells, plumbing, academic conferences, windshield scraping, shaolin something-or-other, working, kinder wrangling, and lots of coffee drinking.
Beat that, World Fantasy-goers!
(that hairbells is not a typo for hairballs.)
Update II: secritcrush just bid living at home with parents for a month. Beat that!
Update III: clarkesworld has just posed an interesting question. Who would be GOH at BitterCon. And what would they sell in the dealer's room? Hmmmm.
Update IV: We have a bid for bitterest: squirrel_monkey just had oral surgery. Nobody at WFC is having as much fun! Also, we have a bid for BitterCon GOH: Harlan Ellison. Though we might have to nominate somebody else to squeeze his boob.
Update V: At BitterCon, everybody gets to squeeze Harlan Ellison's boobs! Also, velourmane has brought a bottle of vodka to BitterCon. It's after 4:00 on the east coast, so we can start drinking, right?
Update VI: The sun is waaaay past the yardarm here in Iowa, so we've got a good start on the bottle of vodka, the official alcoholic beverage of BitterCon. We also have a BitterCon banner! Go visit clarkesworld to see (thanks for the update, livia_llewellyn). Also, we here at BitterCon are home getting lots of writing done while others are frolicking at WFC. Hell, if I hadn't partaken of the vodka, I'd have finished my novel by now...
Update Whatever: It's BitterCon all weekend here at BitterCon. The bitterness was alleviated for a while today by writers group, to which velourmane brought actual BitterCon vodka. We (charmingbillie, velourmane, Lisa Bradley, and Chris East) bitterly critiqued each others' stories, and then in the car ride back to Iowa City bitterly dissed every single editor we know (of), except for Chris, who is an actual editor and a member of our group so doesn't count. We also felt sorry for all those poor people in Austin at WFC, who are probably nursing hangovers and developing whopping cases of con crud.
There is no con crud at BitterCon.
Sunday Morning Update We are not hung over here at BitterCon. We don't have a plane to catch. We have had plenty of sleep and are not hoarse from talking too much and are ready to head for the coffeeshop to write all day and drink pumpkin spice lattes. Some recent arrivals to BitterCon worry that they are late, but they should not worry, for no-one is ever late to BitterCon and everyone, everywhere, is always welcome to share in the bitterness.
Well, I don't know what happens, but something explosive, probably.
So here we are at BitterCon. But we'll show them! Surely you're doing something more fun than flying into Austin today!
As for me, I'm drinking a turbo-charged cup of coffee! And I'm at work! And later, I might drink another cup of coffee!!
Update: Okay, so far we've got hairbells, plumbing, academic conferences, windshield scraping, shaolin something-or-other, working, kinder wrangling, and lots of coffee drinking.
Beat that, World Fantasy-goers!
(that hairbells is not a typo for hairballs.)
Update II: secritcrush just bid living at home with parents for a month. Beat that!
Update III: clarkesworld has just posed an interesting question. Who would be GOH at BitterCon. And what would they sell in the dealer's room? Hmmmm.
Update IV: We have a bid for bitterest: squirrel_monkey just had oral surgery. Nobody at WFC is having as much fun! Also, we have a bid for BitterCon GOH: Harlan Ellison. Though we might have to nominate somebody else to squeeze his boob.
Update V: At BitterCon, everybody gets to squeeze Harlan Ellison's boobs! Also, velourmane has brought a bottle of vodka to BitterCon. It's after 4:00 on the east coast, so we can start drinking, right?
Update VI: The sun is waaaay past the yardarm here in Iowa, so we've got a good start on the bottle of vodka, the official alcoholic beverage of BitterCon. We also have a BitterCon banner! Go visit clarkesworld to see (thanks for the update, livia_llewellyn). Also, we here at BitterCon are home getting lots of writing done while others are frolicking at WFC. Hell, if I hadn't partaken of the vodka, I'd have finished my novel by now...
Update Whatever: It's BitterCon all weekend here at BitterCon. The bitterness was alleviated for a while today by writers group, to which velourmane brought actual BitterCon vodka. We (charmingbillie, velourmane, Lisa Bradley, and Chris East) bitterly critiqued each others' stories, and then in the car ride back to Iowa City bitterly dissed every single editor we know (of), except for Chris, who is an actual editor and a member of our group so doesn't count. We also felt sorry for all those poor people in Austin at WFC, who are probably nursing hangovers and developing whopping cases of con crud.
There is no con crud at BitterCon.
Sunday Morning Update We are not hung over here at BitterCon. We don't have a plane to catch. We have had plenty of sleep and are not hoarse from talking too much and are ready to head for the coffeeshop to write all day and drink pumpkin spice lattes. Some recent arrivals to BitterCon worry that they are late, but they should not worry, for no-one is ever late to BitterCon and everyone, everywhere, is always welcome to share in the bitterness.