this is not the first time i've had these thoughts

[sallyssong]

when i sneezed, she didn't say "bless you" because we were in a fight.

which is understandable.
i wouldn't expect her to.

but why is this all that i can understand?

it's not MY body so why do i feel like it is?
it's not MY life so why does mine feel so different?

does one heart really end where another begins?

or is it because this is my sex
because we are both women who owe something to our race

or in calling ourselves "friend"
such a sacred word to me,
we owe the best of ourselves to the title...

i sit here in silence
not because i'm stubborn
but because i am so full of words.
i know that if i speak
i will either pounce or melt

i'd LIKE to believe i'm hard
but i'm soft,i'm maternal

but i REFUSE to believe
that life is only about yours truly

one should love herself, no doubt
but how is it that the line
between loving oneself
and abusing oneself
is so blurred

i don't know about the heart
but i do know about the fist
and this is certain,
the rights of your own
end just before the tip of another.

this should at least be considered.

and was "I" not put on earth
with so many other "I"s?

by God, or nature or some other essence...

isn't there a unity somewhere?

can't this be justified?
it is not me, so why should i care
but how can i not?
and how does one handle this?

sipping on orange apologies
and wanting badly to swallow them
but knowing they are not mine to drink
because this IS NOT my life.

she should keep them
drink them herself

for I am not unforgiving or angry
just rather disappointed and, god, so tired.

....and why is it i write so much better inside my head?