Writing Meme... Stargate SG1 Ficlet
For watervole, who suggested Stargate SG-1 - humour, preferably involving Teal'c. With the requisite (and all too common for me, I know) warning for silliness...
Shanap
"The General is not going to like this, sir."
"I know, Carter. I know."
"The General is not going to even understand this, sir."
"I know that, Carter. One more word, and you can be the one to explain it to him."
There was a silence, then Teal'c spoke imperturbably.
"I will be pleased to offer any explanations needed, O'Neill. I believe the situation was amply covered in part of my previous research into Tauri domestic customs."
"Something Daniel gave you? Daniel, why the hell didn't you stop him?"
"Oh, don't try to blame this on me, Jack, I wasn't even there. You three left me to deal with the alien-customs-and-alliances work while you went off and played space tourists with the local children."
"Yeah... yeah well, it seemed like a good -"
"And I have no idea what 'Tauri custom' Teal'c is talking about. I'm as in the dark as you are."
"No, it was not part of the material DanielJackson supplied."
"Then someone else -? Who in the whole damn program said anything to make you think this is a good idea and why did you listen to them?"
"The psychologist who replaced Doctor Mackenzie -" Teal'c paused for the expected, and immediate, chorus of groans at the name, "was kind enough to supply me with less purely academic, but true to Tauri life, reading material to help with assimilating your culture. I believe the piece in question was was what you call... an advice column." Teal'c allowed a small, smug smile to touch his lips. "One of the stories I recall will prove extremely apt to the situation, and I do recall what was said by the human returning home in the account. I will simply repeat it, and all will be well."
Ignoring the open-mouthed stares of his teammates, he swept up the steps to the Stargate. "Please follow me, all of you."
O'Neill closed his eyes. "An advice... he's going to defend this with Dear Abby?"
"Sir -"
"I know, Carter. The General is not gonna believe this."
On the other side of the 'Gate, watching anxiously, General Hammond had no idea what was about to happen, or that he was going to be expected to like, understand and believe any of it. Just another day at...
"What the -?"
Or not.
Teal'c strode into view first, followed by his sheepish teammates... and something that appeared to be a large alien bug. A large twenty-legged bug with the head of some sort of mutant mole, a mouth full of hideously human teeth and at least a dozen big, bulging eyes on stalks. Very large, very furry and very, very... purple.
It stopped on the ramp, staring at everything with all those waving eyes while it made a noise something like a bellowing hippo stuck in mud. Teal'c looked at it, seemingly fondly, then back at the General.
"General Hammond," he boomed, "this is a shanap, the equivalent, for a child on the world we have just come from, of what I believe you call dogs. And from what our prospective new allies said, it is a baby shanap that has lost its mother. Or," cocking his head to consider, "eaten its mother. Therefore, as I believe the custom for your world goes...
"It followed me home. Can I keep it?"
***