you don't know how far you've come
its not that i am unappreciative of my life. i just happen to be absent minded. compile that with a wandering mind- a constant choose-your-own adventure if you will- and you have me, constantly analyzing my new position, knowing all to well that i will be starting my cycle all over again. one day aware and focused, the next searching for some personalized theory to hang on to.
i've had the most amazing dreams lately. not amazing in that sense of overwhelming fantasy that you are quite knowledgable about never acquiring in the real world, but amazing as in actually living out moral dilemmas and decisions. the detail and dynamics of experiences i have never had existed in my few moments of rem, playing out exactly in form to my personality. conclusions i know i would have come to while awake. i rarely have such lucid dreams, but always come out of them shocked.
i can't help but think, though, that perhaps we all get caught up in a lucid sobriety. we watch ourselves going through our lives, creating an everyday routine for ourselves because we know it is safe. and maybe that is the reason our subconscious provides mostly imaginative moments while we are asleep. or perhaps i am just rambling, yearning for yet another one of the aforementioned theories. i have depth of thought about this, and i am just out of reach of understanding it, of putting it in words. but its got me thinking, and quite deeply. which is more activity than i have had in a while. i jsut hate having to be patient enough to understand.
maybe if i just catch some zzz's....
i've had the most amazing dreams lately. not amazing in that sense of overwhelming fantasy that you are quite knowledgable about never acquiring in the real world, but amazing as in actually living out moral dilemmas and decisions. the detail and dynamics of experiences i have never had existed in my few moments of rem, playing out exactly in form to my personality. conclusions i know i would have come to while awake. i rarely have such lucid dreams, but always come out of them shocked.
i can't help but think, though, that perhaps we all get caught up in a lucid sobriety. we watch ourselves going through our lives, creating an everyday routine for ourselves because we know it is safe. and maybe that is the reason our subconscious provides mostly imaginative moments while we are asleep. or perhaps i am just rambling, yearning for yet another one of the aforementioned theories. i have depth of thought about this, and i am just out of reach of understanding it, of putting it in words. but its got me thinking, and quite deeply. which is more activity than i have had in a while. i jsut hate having to be patient enough to understand.
maybe if i just catch some zzz's....