(no subject)
Gotta say how much I love Erin and it's been a treat to read the LAST EVER recap of Alias.
And since I'm finding it so amusing, I just thought I'd share a few things that really stuck out.
From TwoP:
After the break, we catch up with the Appleseed Gang as Jack briefs them on The Twelve. He says that their global influence is…well, global. Yes, he really says that. I certainly hope Victor Garber was heavily drunk during this scene because that's the only way I can see him getting through some of these lines without going, "Really? NO REALLY? 'Their global influence is GLOBAL'? Are you fucking kidding me with this shit? Thank GOD this is over. MORE MARTINIS."
******
Minutes later, Sloane gets off the phone and says that The Twelve are convening. Peyton says they should get going. Sark says that perhaps they should reconsider their plans for the prisoners. Aw! See? There's that kidney-bean-sized heart again! "Don't tell me you're getting sentimental," quips Peyton. "Or do you just have a thing for blondes?" Sark gets this awesome look on his face like, "I do. But I also have a thing for brunettes. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean I have a thing for you. And I never will. Don't cry. It's not personal. It's just business." Heh. Sark says it seems unnecessary and Sloane says it isn't open for discussion. Man, he really has turned fully to the dark side. "Eliminate them," he says, and walks off.
******
Mount Subasio. Syd and Vaughn hike up a "mountain" as "snow" "falls." They reach a summit and find a crevasse. Syd wants to go in, but Vaughn isn't sure about it. She is. He hooks her up and puts a tracker on her. They "kiss" and it's not "awkward" at all and finally Syd heads down into the crevasse. Once inside, she makes her way through the K-Mart version of Superman's Fortress of Solitude while all the kids in line for the Matterhorn wonder if that second Mickey pop was possibly a good idea. The set is bad, is what I'm saying. There's been talk on the boards that the team ran out of money by the time they got to this set, so that's why it looked so cheap. And to that I say, poo on you, ABC. You dropped the ball with this show so many times, but now, in its eleventh hour, you can't be arsed to throw a little extra coin at a damn snow set? Fuck you, ABC. And fuck the possibly imaginary polar bear you rode in on.
Syd treks through the "ice cavern" and comes across Sloane, standing over by some "icicles" with the amulet raised above his head. "Sydney, you came," he says calmly. "Oh, and how do you like the place? I made it myself out of Styrofoam peanuts and rubber cement. I'm so crafty!"
******
We fly over to what appears to be some military base where Sark, working a black turtleneck/tan leather jacket/aviator glasses combo that is doing him ALL kinds of favors, stands waiting by his car. Sloane arrives and tells him "good work" on the L.A. job. "I'm not sure 'good' is the proper word for it," snits Sark, "but thank you." Wow. That kidney-bean heart is growing by the second, y'all. Also? Loving David Anders' rather rock-n-roll hairdo he's sporting. It's all sticky-uppy and adorable. They need to give this man his own show, pronto. He's all kinds of cute.
(Note from Shelly: HELL YA! I'd lick the screen watch it every week!)
******
Random Warehouse of Bitches Who Really Have it Coming to Them. Peyton's strapped to a chair with a hood on her head. Dix rips it off, and she looks a wee bit scared. Syd walks up and tells her that they know she's working with Sloane and they know about the missiles. What they don't know is where they are or where they're headed. Peyton stares her down as Syd continues, "Now, I'm well aware that you're tough and that you've been conditioned to withstand torture. But I have something you don't have. I have your former best friend." Rachel walks up and simpers, "And I know what you're afraid of." That's when we hear the hiss of a snake and suddenly, Peyton starts gasping as a snake appears over her right shoulder. Syd tells her to stay extremely still as Peyton begins to panic. Heh. Awesome.
******
We hear an explosion and some rocks get tossed at the camera lens by a couple of production assistants. An entrance appears at the back and Sloane walks through with a lamp, followed closely by Sark. "Did it have to be so filthy?" he snits. "I mean, really, if Rambaldi can prophesize the future, he might have advised me not to wear $500 shoes." HEE! Who knew Sark was such a dandy? I mean, he always looks good, but he never TALKS about how good he looks. Also? This line is a prime example of how, when the writers are on, they are fucking ON. Yeah, the storylines may sometimes suck, but lines like this are precious gems.
******
"Thank you for five incredible years," reads a final placard.
Next on Alias: Nothing.
And since I'm finding it so amusing, I just thought I'd share a few things that really stuck out.
From TwoP:
After the break, we catch up with the Appleseed Gang as Jack briefs them on The Twelve. He says that their global influence is…well, global. Yes, he really says that. I certainly hope Victor Garber was heavily drunk during this scene because that's the only way I can see him getting through some of these lines without going, "Really? NO REALLY? 'Their global influence is GLOBAL'? Are you fucking kidding me with this shit? Thank GOD this is over. MORE MARTINIS."
******
Minutes later, Sloane gets off the phone and says that The Twelve are convening. Peyton says they should get going. Sark says that perhaps they should reconsider their plans for the prisoners. Aw! See? There's that kidney-bean-sized heart again! "Don't tell me you're getting sentimental," quips Peyton. "Or do you just have a thing for blondes?" Sark gets this awesome look on his face like, "I do. But I also have a thing for brunettes. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean I have a thing for you. And I never will. Don't cry. It's not personal. It's just business." Heh. Sark says it seems unnecessary and Sloane says it isn't open for discussion. Man, he really has turned fully to the dark side. "Eliminate them," he says, and walks off.
******
Mount Subasio. Syd and Vaughn hike up a "mountain" as "snow" "falls." They reach a summit and find a crevasse. Syd wants to go in, but Vaughn isn't sure about it. She is. He hooks her up and puts a tracker on her. They "kiss" and it's not "awkward" at all and finally Syd heads down into the crevasse. Once inside, she makes her way through the K-Mart version of Superman's Fortress of Solitude while all the kids in line for the Matterhorn wonder if that second Mickey pop was possibly a good idea. The set is bad, is what I'm saying. There's been talk on the boards that the team ran out of money by the time they got to this set, so that's why it looked so cheap. And to that I say, poo on you, ABC. You dropped the ball with this show so many times, but now, in its eleventh hour, you can't be arsed to throw a little extra coin at a damn snow set? Fuck you, ABC. And fuck the possibly imaginary polar bear you rode in on.
Syd treks through the "ice cavern" and comes across Sloane, standing over by some "icicles" with the amulet raised above his head. "Sydney, you came," he says calmly. "Oh, and how do you like the place? I made it myself out of Styrofoam peanuts and rubber cement. I'm so crafty!"
******
We fly over to what appears to be some military base where Sark, working a black turtleneck/tan leather jacket/aviator glasses combo that is doing him ALL kinds of favors, stands waiting by his car. Sloane arrives and tells him "good work" on the L.A. job. "I'm not sure 'good' is the proper word for it," snits Sark, "but thank you." Wow. That kidney-bean heart is growing by the second, y'all. Also? Loving David Anders' rather rock-n-roll hairdo he's sporting. It's all sticky-uppy and adorable. They need to give this man his own show, pronto. He's all kinds of cute.
(Note from Shelly: HELL YA! I'd lick the screen watch it every week!)
******
Random Warehouse of Bitches Who Really Have it Coming to Them. Peyton's strapped to a chair with a hood on her head. Dix rips it off, and she looks a wee bit scared. Syd walks up and tells her that they know she's working with Sloane and they know about the missiles. What they don't know is where they are or where they're headed. Peyton stares her down as Syd continues, "Now, I'm well aware that you're tough and that you've been conditioned to withstand torture. But I have something you don't have. I have your former best friend." Rachel walks up and simpers, "And I know what you're afraid of." That's when we hear the hiss of a snake and suddenly, Peyton starts gasping as a snake appears over her right shoulder. Syd tells her to stay extremely still as Peyton begins to panic. Heh. Awesome.
******
We hear an explosion and some rocks get tossed at the camera lens by a couple of production assistants. An entrance appears at the back and Sloane walks through with a lamp, followed closely by Sark. "Did it have to be so filthy?" he snits. "I mean, really, if Rambaldi can prophesize the future, he might have advised me not to wear $500 shoes." HEE! Who knew Sark was such a dandy? I mean, he always looks good, but he never TALKS about how good he looks. Also? This line is a prime example of how, when the writers are on, they are fucking ON. Yeah, the storylines may sometimes suck, but lines like this are precious gems.
******
"Thank you for five incredible years," reads a final placard.
Next on Alias: Nothing.