She'll let you in her mind if the words you say are right.
If you pay the price, she'll let you deep inside. There's a secret garden she hides.
How far can you go until you burn yourself out? I have reached the point of exhaustion. I am sure that everyone I know can tell. I feel delirious. But it seems there is always something I have to do. Even if it doesn’t concern school, I always need to talk to someone or go somewhere or handle something new. Life is keeping me busy to the point where I don’t even want to go anywhere on the weekends because all I want to do is sleep. But then there is a part of me that is yearning to go out. I never want to miss a beat and I always want to be out on the town at night. Even during the day. I wish I had a car because you can be sure that I would either drive to the beach every week, or go to parks or places like Fort Myers and West Palm Beach whenever I got bored. I need a car and I need to get out of here. I am going to New York over spring break to check the scenery and visit family. This trip is long since overdue. I have been dying to go there since the last time I was there, when I was five years old. Damn. I miss my extended family and I want to be a part of my cousins’ lives forever. I want us to be close and be there for each other. Family is all you’ve got in the end.
So I’m going to be the Nurse in R&J for opening night. This is good. I like the Nurse’s part. The amount of lines doesn’t even matter to me anymore. I have a lot of lines now but I’ve realized that it’s not even about that. For me it’s all about the part and how much I can actually become that character. It’s really a fun experience. Last year was great. I WAS Mary. I became her. I found myself acting like her outside of rehearsal, which may not have been a good thing because she was a bitch, but I become the characters unintentionally.
Well, I am at the point where I am so tired that I don’t even any to talk to anybody anymore. Don’t take that personally, people at school, because you know I still love you. I am just so fed up with this lack of rest and relaxation. Not to mention the drama outside of school. I need some real answers. I am tired of indirect signals and fighting over stupid bullshit. I know that one must suffer sometimes to get what they really want, but since I have never experienced this before, it all just seems so pointless to me after a while. Nevertheless, though, I am a fighter, and a persistent one at that. However, if I don’t some concrete results quick, I might just have to let this go. See, to me it is worth the stress and fighting, but there is a point where I draw the line.
So I am in a dilemma right now and all I want to do is crawl under my sheets like a little girl, like the old days when that was an acceptable move, and forget about all of this. It’s good to know though, that I am not the only person who is sometimes utterly and completely lost when it comes to dealing with relationships. I am not the only confused one out here. Relationships are difficult, they are confusing. Two people coming from different lives out of the blue, showing interest in each other, trying to work toward one goal. I don’t think any two people, or lovers, are ever going to come together without some problems arising. People have things in common but all in all, we’ve all been written by different authors. Trying to get people to understand and accept your opinions for what they are worth is enough of a task, not to mention trying to adjust your daily schedules to each other in order to make time. In the end, I have come to the conclusion that it can be a beautiful thing when it works out for the best. It is something I really look forward to, in all sincerity.
“I love him for the man he wants to be and I love him for the man that he almost is.”
Guys, you don’t understand how much I love that line. Oh, not to mention Cuba Gooding Junior. Wow, now that guy is gorgeous and what an actor. I tell yah.
“She’ll let you in her heart if you’ve got a hammer and a vice. But into the secret garden don’t think twice.”
La La La La La La La. That is yours truly being delirious over here. Yes. Well. Goodbye Now = )
<3the kennster
How far can you go until you burn yourself out? I have reached the point of exhaustion. I am sure that everyone I know can tell. I feel delirious. But it seems there is always something I have to do. Even if it doesn’t concern school, I always need to talk to someone or go somewhere or handle something new. Life is keeping me busy to the point where I don’t even want to go anywhere on the weekends because all I want to do is sleep. But then there is a part of me that is yearning to go out. I never want to miss a beat and I always want to be out on the town at night. Even during the day. I wish I had a car because you can be sure that I would either drive to the beach every week, or go to parks or places like Fort Myers and West Palm Beach whenever I got bored. I need a car and I need to get out of here. I am going to New York over spring break to check the scenery and visit family. This trip is long since overdue. I have been dying to go there since the last time I was there, when I was five years old. Damn. I miss my extended family and I want to be a part of my cousins’ lives forever. I want us to be close and be there for each other. Family is all you’ve got in the end.
So I’m going to be the Nurse in R&J for opening night. This is good. I like the Nurse’s part. The amount of lines doesn’t even matter to me anymore. I have a lot of lines now but I’ve realized that it’s not even about that. For me it’s all about the part and how much I can actually become that character. It’s really a fun experience. Last year was great. I WAS Mary. I became her. I found myself acting like her outside of rehearsal, which may not have been a good thing because she was a bitch, but I become the characters unintentionally.
Well, I am at the point where I am so tired that I don’t even any to talk to anybody anymore. Don’t take that personally, people at school, because you know I still love you. I am just so fed up with this lack of rest and relaxation. Not to mention the drama outside of school. I need some real answers. I am tired of indirect signals and fighting over stupid bullshit. I know that one must suffer sometimes to get what they really want, but since I have never experienced this before, it all just seems so pointless to me after a while. Nevertheless, though, I am a fighter, and a persistent one at that. However, if I don’t some concrete results quick, I might just have to let this go. See, to me it is worth the stress and fighting, but there is a point where I draw the line.
So I am in a dilemma right now and all I want to do is crawl under my sheets like a little girl, like the old days when that was an acceptable move, and forget about all of this. It’s good to know though, that I am not the only person who is sometimes utterly and completely lost when it comes to dealing with relationships. I am not the only confused one out here. Relationships are difficult, they are confusing. Two people coming from different lives out of the blue, showing interest in each other, trying to work toward one goal. I don’t think any two people, or lovers, are ever going to come together without some problems arising. People have things in common but all in all, we’ve all been written by different authors. Trying to get people to understand and accept your opinions for what they are worth is enough of a task, not to mention trying to adjust your daily schedules to each other in order to make time. In the end, I have come to the conclusion that it can be a beautiful thing when it works out for the best. It is something I really look forward to, in all sincerity.
“I love him for the man he wants to be and I love him for the man that he almost is.”
Guys, you don’t understand how much I love that line. Oh, not to mention Cuba Gooding Junior. Wow, now that guy is gorgeous and what an actor. I tell yah.
“She’ll let you in her heart if you’ve got a hammer and a vice. But into the secret garden don’t think twice.”
La La La La La La La. That is yours truly being delirious over here. Yes. Well. Goodbye Now = )
<3the kennster