(no subject)
My twenty-first birthday is in twelve days. I have that day off and probably the day following. I want to drive to either St. Louis or Chicago for a little shopping and to simply get away. You all know me and my love for travel and I haven't ventured out of this state in what seems like forever. Give me some input on what I should do. I'd love to drive but I also kind of don't want to put the miles on my car. Should I take the train to Chicago? Should I go alone somewhere? I just want to get away. I'm tired of working six days a week. I'm tired of what I'm doing. I'm tired of getting into dead end, get-out-after-three-or-four-months relationships. I'm tired of them being too "scared shitless" to want to be with me. What are you so fucking afraid of? I'm tired of my phobia of calling people and holding conversations. I'm tired of the jealousy that comes over me when I think I'm being replaced or the emotions that overwhelm me when one of my best friends has other best friends. I hate feeling left out. Am I that selfish, or is it just that my best friends are also friends with one another? All I know is that I'm tired, I'm weak, and I need a break.