A graceful drinking arm, disarming
Less than 3000 words to go in my Nanowrimo. I shall finish the story tomorrow. I've written about 2000 words of horror tonight. That's enough. 3000 words of heartbreak and coming of age tomorrow.
Since the row with my friend at the end of last week I have been vacillating between feeling as though I want to call him and apologise for making him feel bad, and then remembering that - doh! - he was terrible and unmercifully rude to me and if I upset him then it was only in self defence. So the anger comes back. This week has been peaks and troughs of guilt then anger then despair then self-righteous rage. My word count has been up and down as well. I'm two days ahead! I'm one day behind! I'm barely on track! I'm ahead again! Oh - whoops, now I'm behind! Shucks.
It's pretty hard to write every day. When I begin typing it can be a while before the rhythm takes over my mind. I think that maybe my eyes cloud over like in Heroes when they paint the future. I think my Mum came up with that comparison. The argument keeps standing between me and focus. I should definitely care less. I'm getting there, my hurt is grassing over.
The Australian says that I misunderstood; he doesn't care if I write about him on livejournal as he will just not read it. SO on that note: when the Aus lived in Melbourne he shopped in the same supermarket as Chopper! Pretty good eh? I thought so - imagine accidentally cutting in front of Chopper at the till? He'd smash you to a pulp. Scary!!
This Sunday is my roller derby team's first bout! I made the team! Last Sunday was our last chance to practice scrimmaging before the match. I was still raging about that dumb friend. I saw red for real in front of my eyes. I was booked for two major penalties. I almost yelled at the ref. If I had I would have faced expulsion! Eeek. I hope I can keep a lid on my rage this Sunday. I think I can. I was only so furious cos of that row, and that's all dying inside me now.
Friend love is the best tonic of all time. Believe. From going to a party in a salon where we were told about face peeling treatments by an odd looking man, through internet support, to long 'phone chats; friend love = two thumbs up.
Since the row with my friend at the end of last week I have been vacillating between feeling as though I want to call him and apologise for making him feel bad, and then remembering that - doh! - he was terrible and unmercifully rude to me and if I upset him then it was only in self defence. So the anger comes back. This week has been peaks and troughs of guilt then anger then despair then self-righteous rage. My word count has been up and down as well. I'm two days ahead! I'm one day behind! I'm barely on track! I'm ahead again! Oh - whoops, now I'm behind! Shucks.
It's pretty hard to write every day. When I begin typing it can be a while before the rhythm takes over my mind. I think that maybe my eyes cloud over like in Heroes when they paint the future. I think my Mum came up with that comparison. The argument keeps standing between me and focus. I should definitely care less. I'm getting there, my hurt is grassing over.
The Australian says that I misunderstood; he doesn't care if I write about him on livejournal as he will just not read it. SO on that note: when the Aus lived in Melbourne he shopped in the same supermarket as Chopper! Pretty good eh? I thought so - imagine accidentally cutting in front of Chopper at the till? He'd smash you to a pulp. Scary!!
This Sunday is my roller derby team's first bout! I made the team! Last Sunday was our last chance to practice scrimmaging before the match. I was still raging about that dumb friend. I saw red for real in front of my eyes. I was booked for two major penalties. I almost yelled at the ref. If I had I would have faced expulsion! Eeek. I hope I can keep a lid on my rage this Sunday. I think I can. I was only so furious cos of that row, and that's all dying inside me now.
Friend love is the best tonic of all time. Believe. From going to a party in a salon where we were told about face peeling treatments by an odd looking man, through internet support, to long 'phone chats; friend love = two thumbs up.