Leave my fandoms alone!
Do you know how it feels to wish that your eyes would just fall out of their sockets and that your brain would just suddenly set itself on fire? Reading this fic reminded me of what that feeling is ACTUALLY like. Not only is the story plain horrible and WTF material, the ficcer also manages to mangle two of my fandoms. I did not want to do this but seeming as the suethor did the unforgivable - I can’t let it pass now.
Title of The abomination of nature Fanfic: Reunited Uh-oh. Here’s trouble.
Name of The culprit Author: Anime-fanatic19
How the abomination of nature fic goes: The Sanzo party come across a strange girl... a celestial maiden! What does she have to do with Sanzo? And will she stay as just a friend a certain man with green eyes? I suck at summaries! Please give this fic a chance! -headslams- That’s TWO fics in a row mangling two of my fandoms. Will you. Just. Stop?!
Your fic makes me want to say:
Name of Sue: Tamaya Shiey
Age: 20
Classification: Celestial maiden - cursed to be a demon. Again. -headdesks-
Vibrant Orbs: One blue eye and one brown.
Luxuriant Tresses: Long beautiful golden blonde hair which keeps getting described every fucking paragraph of the first chapter.
Mary Sue Powers: The ability to annoy the crap out of me, The ability to make the Sanzo-ikkou unable to fight so she can be ZOMGmorepowerful! Than they are. Basically, like Yuu Watase said - chi blasts, the power of flight, barriers. Because she’s a fucking celestial maiden stuck in the wrong series. The ability to mangle two of my fandoms. She can do all of this because she’s fucking speshul that way.
Annoying Wangsty Past and Origin: Let’s see if I get this straight. She was Kouryuu’s younger sister (because Kouryuu, was apparently, Sanzo’s real name as a child) but because of their ebil stepfather, Kazama. He wanted to kill Kouryu so he… smashed a rock over the boy’s head… made him drink medicine which will make him forget everything, his memories as a child (wow! Looks like someone’s dragged a bit of the Fushigi Yuugi fandom in, too!) Then he convinced Shiey to run away because he would kill her and her mother if she didn’t. So, her mother helped her escape and then while she was busy crying her whiny ass off in the woods a Ceres clone approaches her and just decides to give her Tennyo powerz. And as the universe wants to kill my soul, they suddenly found her wounded one day.
Reasons For Sporking
1. Wherever shall I start with this pathetic excuse for a fic? Besides this fic having a good candidate for MOST ANNOYING MARY SUE OF THE YEAR, let’s start with the bad formatting. I have no idea if this suethor knows how to use paragraph breaks properly since all of the sentences and dialogues in the fic are all bunched up and clustered together. How many times do us non-fantwits have to repeat ourselves. Paragraph breaks are your friends, damn it. Use them before I clobber you with a stick.
2. Look, suethor. I know you’re in a rush to make Shiey Hakkai’s one twu wub - but please, for the sake of every non-fantwit’s sanity, do NOT skimp on the detail. It makes your story lamer than it already is. Everything from the descriptions to the dialogue is so mechanical and boring that it’s not funny. We also have pronoun mistakes (like Shiey being referred to as a ‘he’) once in a while. Not to mention the usual tense errors. But nothing a few editing can fix.
3. Now that we’ve gone past the basic stuff let’s get to the ugly part. Shiey is one of the biggest honking Mary Sues I’ve ever met. As I said, I’d make her a contestant of most annoying sue of the year. The sad part is, the suethor is actually proud of herself for this. Shiey is your basic speshul powerful and yet weak/fragile sue spawn. Why is she one of the biggest Mary Sue’s I’ve met? She is portrayed as this perfect person with no flaws but is long suffering and loved by everyone in the ikkou. But she turns out to be this bland, non-descript person that most readers would be unable to relate to and end up hating.
4. The Sanzo-ikkou, in the cannon series have handled and fought a dozen youkai armies who are trying to kill them. If you actually watched the damned series, you can see that the youkai armies Kougaiji send are frustrated because they can’t seem to kill or corner the Sanzo-ikkou. Why? Because they’re damned strong. For the last time, they do not need your sue spawn in order to win a fight. Your sue spawn is NOT and CANNOT be more powerful than any of the four main cannon characters. For one thing, Goku always gets to strike a youkai down, he may have a little trouble with the above average ones, but he always manages to HIT them. He will NOT be incapable of striking a youkai just so your speshul sue can come in and save the day.
5. Where is the Sanzo-ikkou that actually have their own lives? Why does the whole world revolve around protecting Shiey and trying to get her attention? I appreciate the fact that you TRIED to keep Sanzo in character. But it’s not going to save this fic in anyway. For one thing, if Shiey can’t protect herself - then she doesn’t deserve to travel with the Sanzo-ikkou because Sanzo HATES people who slow them down. Shiey is NOT an exception. No matter how speshul she is and claims to be.
6. While we’re on that, may I just point out that almost half of the fic, Shiey seems to be in the following situations: a. Injured b. Collapsed or passed out from sickness/power drainage/being pathetic and trying to grab attention or c. wallowing in her ZOMGwangst and crying. It really gets tiring after - oh, I don’t know - the tenth time?. It’s grating, too. The Sanzo-ikkou have more important things to do rather than babysit your sue. Like - what was that again? Right! Go to the west and actually get some work done. They do NOT have time to accommodate Shiey and pity her every chance that she makes an spectacle out of herself. Sanzo would sooner shoot her and leave her rotting corpse behind.
7. Gojyo and Goku have disappeared. Or that’s what it seems like to me. All they ever do in the fic is argue, get shot and threatened by Sanzo - and then totally disappear in the background. Unless of course - they start to interact with Shiey. That’s the only time we actually see them doing something. It seems that the whole story is about her. I can’t STAND it. For the hundredth, fucking time we are here to read about the cannon characters. Not your stupid spawn! Hakkai of course is seen making googly eyes at her and Sanzo…? Is wangsting and in denial. This is just peachy.
8. Now, let’s go on about Shiey’s wangsty past. Okay, so she’s really Kouryu’s younger sister. But when Kazama, their ebil stepfather stepped in - he smashed Kouryu’s head with a stone and made him drink medicine to make him forget. Then, when she ran away -she met a celestial maiden who just suddenly decided to give her sparklypoo speshul powerz for no apparent reason except that she’s speshul that way. Am I the only one who think that the explanation she gave is half-assed? Suethor? Kouryuu was sent off as a BABY. Komyo Sanzo found him in a basket floating around in a river. That’s the real story - and we like it that way. Quit ruining it!
9. And if you think she isn’t speshul enough - suddenly, we find out the following things: a. Gyoukumen Koushu’s side wants her because they need her power to enter the fourth stage of the project. If I’m not mistaken, since Homura was able to take the Seiten Kyoumon from them, they had to start from zero. So, they’re still in the FIRST stage by the end of Gensoumaden which, I’m assuming, is the suethor’s timeline since b. Homura needs her power too for the creation of the New world that he had in mind. Oh, did I forget to mention that he also tried to have his way with her once, if you know what I mean. Yes, but she blasted him and ran away from him. Wait, there’s one last thing. No, it’s not over yet. Because she is also c. Nataku’s sister from five-hundred years ago, when she used to go by the name Reija. I know what you’re thinking - Does the specialness ever end?. Well - the answer is a whooping no. You have to headdesk through every single chapter.
10. The suethor is also accused of ripping off certain fandoms such as a. Ayashi No Ceres. The celestial maiden, who goes by the name of Ciara is obviously a Ceres clone. She sings scarlet, the opening theme for Ayashi No Ceres (yes, she inserted the song lyrics. I’m not kidding). There are also some things taken from the Fushigi Yuugi fandom. For example, the supposed ‘’medicine’’ that Kazama made Kouryuu drink to forget, might be the same concoction that Amiboshi/Kaika offered to Miaka to help her forget all her painful memories during that one episode after she thought she everything was over. And what about chapter fourteen? When the evil Shiey clone came and tried to kill the ikkou while the real Shiey was stuck in the world of mirrors? She had to break a piece of the mirror and stab herself through the chest to stop the evil clone. Sure, that’s fine, suethor. If it wasn’t done by Yuu Watase in episode five of Fushigi Yuugi. Try again when you’re a little more creative than that. Better yet, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FANDOM BEFORE I STAB YOU WITH SPORKS.
11. Suethor, okay - I’ll let you by. Your sue spawn is a celestial maiden. It can happen, why not? Sure. I’ll humor you. But I am not about to humor the overused plot device of a curse being placed upon her so she can transform into a demon. No. The previous sporking I did had the same idea with her sue spawn. It’s not funny. Will you STOP ripping each other off? If your sue is a goddess, human, demon, celestial maiden, unicorn - that’s fine. Half-breeds are acceptable. But you cannot be three halves of something at the same time. Make up your mind and stick with it - then GET OUT OF MY FANDOM.
12. One last thing. They do not celebrate Christmas in the URASAI they did, but URASAI’s are for humor. They never celebrated it in the cannon series because they’re in fucking Ancient China. Has that wrapped itself around your head yet, idiot suethor?
Samples From Hell
Oh, look! She can sing, too! -yawns- I’m bored now
This is too much for my HEAD. That’s what it’s too much for.
I checked her profile. She writes for AnC, too and she’s got another speshul sue spawn there. Go figure.
Title of The abomination of nature Fanfic: Reunited Uh-oh. Here’s trouble.
Name of The culprit Author: Anime-fanatic19
How the abomination of nature fic goes: The Sanzo party come across a strange girl... a celestial maiden! What does she have to do with Sanzo? And will she stay as just a friend a certain man with green eyes? I suck at summaries! Please give this fic a chance! -headslams- That’s TWO fics in a row mangling two of my fandoms. Will you. Just. Stop?!
Your fic makes me want to say:
Name of Sue: Tamaya Shiey
Age: 20
Classification: Celestial maiden - cursed to be a demon. Again. -headdesks-
Vibrant Orbs: One blue eye and one brown.
Luxuriant Tresses: Long beautiful golden blonde hair which keeps getting described every fucking paragraph of the first chapter.
Mary Sue Powers: The ability to annoy the crap out of me, The ability to make the Sanzo-ikkou unable to fight so she can be ZOMGmorepowerful! Than they are. Basically, like Yuu Watase said - chi blasts, the power of flight, barriers. Because she’s a fucking celestial maiden stuck in the wrong series. The ability to mangle two of my fandoms. She can do all of this because she’s fucking speshul that way.
Annoying Wangsty Past and Origin: Let’s see if I get this straight. She was Kouryuu’s younger sister (because Kouryuu, was apparently, Sanzo’s real name as a child) but because of their ebil stepfather, Kazama. He wanted to kill Kouryu so he… smashed a rock over the boy’s head… made him drink medicine which will make him forget everything, his memories as a child (wow! Looks like someone’s dragged a bit of the Fushigi Yuugi fandom in, too!) Then he convinced Shiey to run away because he would kill her and her mother if she didn’t. So, her mother helped her escape and then while she was busy crying her whiny ass off in the woods a Ceres clone approaches her and just decides to give her Tennyo powerz. And as the universe wants to kill my soul, they suddenly found her wounded one day.
Reasons For Sporking
1. Wherever shall I start with this pathetic excuse for a fic? Besides this fic having a good candidate for MOST ANNOYING MARY SUE OF THE YEAR, let’s start with the bad formatting. I have no idea if this suethor knows how to use paragraph breaks properly since all of the sentences and dialogues in the fic are all bunched up and clustered together. How many times do us non-fantwits have to repeat ourselves. Paragraph breaks are your friends, damn it. Use them before I clobber you with a stick.
2. Look, suethor. I know you’re in a rush to make Shiey Hakkai’s one twu wub - but please, for the sake of every non-fantwit’s sanity, do NOT skimp on the detail. It makes your story lamer than it already is. Everything from the descriptions to the dialogue is so mechanical and boring that it’s not funny. We also have pronoun mistakes (like Shiey being referred to as a ‘he’) once in a while. Not to mention the usual tense errors. But nothing a few editing can fix.
3. Now that we’ve gone past the basic stuff let’s get to the ugly part. Shiey is one of the biggest honking Mary Sues I’ve ever met. As I said, I’d make her a contestant of most annoying sue of the year. The sad part is, the suethor is actually proud of herself for this. Shiey is your basic speshul powerful and yet weak/fragile sue spawn. Why is she one of the biggest Mary Sue’s I’ve met? She is portrayed as this perfect person with no flaws but is long suffering and loved by everyone in the ikkou. But she turns out to be this bland, non-descript person that most readers would be unable to relate to and end up hating.
4. The Sanzo-ikkou, in the cannon series have handled and fought a dozen youkai armies who are trying to kill them. If you actually watched the damned series, you can see that the youkai armies Kougaiji send are frustrated because they can’t seem to kill or corner the Sanzo-ikkou. Why? Because they’re damned strong. For the last time, they do not need your sue spawn in order to win a fight. Your sue spawn is NOT and CANNOT be more powerful than any of the four main cannon characters. For one thing, Goku always gets to strike a youkai down, he may have a little trouble with the above average ones, but he always manages to HIT them. He will NOT be incapable of striking a youkai just so your speshul sue can come in and save the day.
5. Where is the Sanzo-ikkou that actually have their own lives? Why does the whole world revolve around protecting Shiey and trying to get her attention? I appreciate the fact that you TRIED to keep Sanzo in character. But it’s not going to save this fic in anyway. For one thing, if Shiey can’t protect herself - then she doesn’t deserve to travel with the Sanzo-ikkou because Sanzo HATES people who slow them down. Shiey is NOT an exception. No matter how speshul she is and claims to be.
6. While we’re on that, may I just point out that almost half of the fic, Shiey seems to be in the following situations: a. Injured b. Collapsed or passed out from sickness/power drainage/being pathetic and trying to grab attention or c. wallowing in her ZOMGwangst and crying. It really gets tiring after - oh, I don’t know - the tenth time?. It’s grating, too. The Sanzo-ikkou have more important things to do rather than babysit your sue. Like - what was that again? Right! Go to the west and actually get some work done. They do NOT have time to accommodate Shiey and pity her every chance that she makes an spectacle out of herself. Sanzo would sooner shoot her and leave her rotting corpse behind.
7. Gojyo and Goku have disappeared. Or that’s what it seems like to me. All they ever do in the fic is argue, get shot and threatened by Sanzo - and then totally disappear in the background. Unless of course - they start to interact with Shiey. That’s the only time we actually see them doing something. It seems that the whole story is about her. I can’t STAND it. For the hundredth, fucking time we are here to read about the cannon characters. Not your stupid spawn! Hakkai of course is seen making googly eyes at her and Sanzo…? Is wangsting and in denial. This is just peachy.
8. Now, let’s go on about Shiey’s wangsty past. Okay, so she’s really Kouryu’s younger sister. But when Kazama, their ebil stepfather stepped in - he smashed Kouryu’s head with a stone and made him drink medicine to make him forget. Then, when she ran away -she met a celestial maiden who just suddenly decided to give her sparklypoo speshul powerz for no apparent reason except that she’s speshul that way. Am I the only one who think that the explanation she gave is half-assed? Suethor? Kouryuu was sent off as a BABY. Komyo Sanzo found him in a basket floating around in a river. That’s the real story - and we like it that way. Quit ruining it!
9. And if you think she isn’t speshul enough - suddenly, we find out the following things: a. Gyoukumen Koushu’s side wants her because they need her power to enter the fourth stage of the project. If I’m not mistaken, since Homura was able to take the Seiten Kyoumon from them, they had to start from zero. So, they’re still in the FIRST stage by the end of Gensoumaden which, I’m assuming, is the suethor’s timeline since b. Homura needs her power too for the creation of the New world that he had in mind. Oh, did I forget to mention that he also tried to have his way with her once, if you know what I mean. Yes, but she blasted him and ran away from him. Wait, there’s one last thing. No, it’s not over yet. Because she is also c. Nataku’s sister from five-hundred years ago, when she used to go by the name Reija. I know what you’re thinking - Does the specialness ever end?. Well - the answer is a whooping no. You have to headdesk through every single chapter.
10. The suethor is also accused of ripping off certain fandoms such as a. Ayashi No Ceres. The celestial maiden, who goes by the name of Ciara is obviously a Ceres clone. She sings scarlet, the opening theme for Ayashi No Ceres (yes, she inserted the song lyrics. I’m not kidding). There are also some things taken from the Fushigi Yuugi fandom. For example, the supposed ‘’medicine’’ that Kazama made Kouryuu drink to forget, might be the same concoction that Amiboshi/Kaika offered to Miaka to help her forget all her painful memories during that one episode after she thought she everything was over. And what about chapter fourteen? When the evil Shiey clone came and tried to kill the ikkou while the real Shiey was stuck in the world of mirrors? She had to break a piece of the mirror and stab herself through the chest to stop the evil clone. Sure, that’s fine, suethor. If it wasn’t done by Yuu Watase in episode five of Fushigi Yuugi. Try again when you’re a little more creative than that. Better yet, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FANDOM BEFORE I STAB YOU WITH SPORKS.
11. Suethor, okay - I’ll let you by. Your sue spawn is a celestial maiden. It can happen, why not? Sure. I’ll humor you. But I am not about to humor the overused plot device of a curse being placed upon her so she can transform into a demon. No. The previous sporking I did had the same idea with her sue spawn. It’s not funny. Will you STOP ripping each other off? If your sue is a goddess, human, demon, celestial maiden, unicorn - that’s fine. Half-breeds are acceptable. But you cannot be three halves of something at the same time. Make up your mind and stick with it - then GET OUT OF MY FANDOM.
12. One last thing. They do not celebrate Christmas in the URASAI they did, but URASAI’s are for humor. They never celebrated it in the cannon series because they’re in fucking Ancient China. Has that wrapped itself around your head yet, idiot suethor?
Samples From Hell
Oh, look! She can sing, too! -yawns- I’m bored now
This is too much for my HEAD. That’s what it’s too much for.
I checked her profile. She writes for AnC, too and she’s got another speshul sue spawn there. Go figure.