GRRR
Why does everyone and their mother feel the need to comment on my hair, usually to the tune of "Dear god what happened?!"
Yes, I shaved the back of my head. Yes, the clippers slipped and shaved the top of my head. Yes, I am aware that all I have left are the chin length hair of my bangs to about three inches back.
IT'S HAIR PEOPLE! In case you never got the memo, I don't really care much for it besides to die it. I slick it back, no big, can't even tell I had to shave the top part. And even then...I amazingly don't care.
What I do care about is having to hear about it every damn day.
Wonder what their going to say when I dye my hair red and green for the holidays. *rolls eyes*
In other, non ranty news, I have discovered I prefer the numbness of grief to the sadness. For the past week I've been having constant dreams about mum and it's driving me insane. I don't like waking up from a dream with her to have reality crash into me that she's gone. It's frustrating and annoying and makes me want to cry.
Except I can't cry, I don't know why, I just can't. Grr. Not to mention, the constant dreams and echoing sadness/depression is exhausting me and taking me away from my family that's here and I WANT to spend time with them, so then I get sadder and it's an on-going circle that's driving me insane.
And my grandmother cried at Thanksgiving (well, the day before, and she didn't stay for dinner because it made her too depressed), which I understand, but it just emphasised the point that I'm not 'allowed' to break down, because I have to support everyone else.
At least Dad understands, he lost his mom, dad and brother...he knows what grief is like.
Yes, I shaved the back of my head. Yes, the clippers slipped and shaved the top of my head. Yes, I am aware that all I have left are the chin length hair of my bangs to about three inches back.
IT'S HAIR PEOPLE! In case you never got the memo, I don't really care much for it besides to die it. I slick it back, no big, can't even tell I had to shave the top part. And even then...I amazingly don't care.
What I do care about is having to hear about it every damn day.
Wonder what their going to say when I dye my hair red and green for the holidays. *rolls eyes*
In other, non ranty news, I have discovered I prefer the numbness of grief to the sadness. For the past week I've been having constant dreams about mum and it's driving me insane. I don't like waking up from a dream with her to have reality crash into me that she's gone. It's frustrating and annoying and makes me want to cry.
Except I can't cry, I don't know why, I just can't. Grr. Not to mention, the constant dreams and echoing sadness/depression is exhausting me and taking me away from my family that's here and I WANT to spend time with them, so then I get sadder and it's an on-going circle that's driving me insane.
And my grandmother cried at Thanksgiving (well, the day before, and she didn't stay for dinner because it made her too depressed), which I understand, but it just emphasised the point that I'm not 'allowed' to break down, because I have to support everyone else.
At least Dad understands, he lost his mom, dad and brother...he knows what grief is like.