Short Story: Unshed Tears
This is a short story that features my old Cow Be RPG character Rage. Just to refresh, she's Vicious' sister, had a lover named Lex and he took a bullet meant for Spike Spiegel. I was listening to Alice in Chains and I got suddenly inspired by
Down In A Hole / Alice in Chains
and I saw in my head Rage, sitting at a bar with black wings that are hanging, much like her head is. Just from the weight of a sadness that she hadn't had much time to acknowledge. So I built a story around it, and...like to hear it? Here it goes.
"One more."
The woman with the dark hair and the sunglasses waited patiently as the bartender got her another double shot of Cuervo. He nodded his appreciation as she slid him 20 woolongs. It was far more than the worth of the drink, and the bartender could certainly appreciate the tip. She nodded back at him, licked the salt from the rim of the glass, knocked back the shot like a seasoned professional, and ate the lemon slice. The alcohol was warm as it entered her system, and it was always a good feeling when it went down.
There was only one problem, however.
It wasn't going down any easier than the others she had drank before this.
She knew why she was here. It was New Orleans, it was in the hotel bar and restaurant where she and Lex had dinner before...
...before...
Every so often, in the darker corners of her mind that she held closer to her than a pair of Aces in Texas Hold 'em, she saw Lex shoving Spike forward, out of the way of that soldier that was waiting to take him out. She saw the bloom of blood that exploded across his chest, and Spike dragging him behind the rocks to safety.
She had moved on physically from the incident - after all, time wasn't going to stop even [if] the love of your life had been gunned down. And that it certainly hadn't - it wasn't easy to chase Vicious and be the object of vengeance by Lex's sister Leticia.
Three steps up on the game, all day, every day.
Here, however, was a much needed moment of rest, but it was a moment filled with a rarely acknowledged sadness and pain and emptiness. The part of her world that had him in it lie barren and she had not had a chance to catch her breath and make peace with the darkness that was staring her in the face. She needed him in the worst way, but she had never given herself the chance to acknowledge her feelings about it all.
Until now.
She thought she would be brave enough to come here, to this hotel, and try to come to terms with the ghosts that lie like shadows in her heart, but it wasn't as easy to do as she had imagined. See, the way it was supposed to work was this: She'd drink a little, remember the good times, and then turn around and walk away and go back to the way things had been before she walked in here. But after that first drink, and even after the second, the thoughts and memories reached up to take hold of her and pull her. Any other day of the week, or even year, she would be strong enough to shake it off.
But not today.
She felt the muscles in her jaw clench and her eyes burn. She had to get out of there. She quickly shoved a 50 woolong note towards the bartender and raced out of the bar, full tilt, and right into someone. Her sunglasses came off, the red of her eyes visible even in the fading light of the day.
"That much of a hurry?"
Rage's blood ran cold as she recognized the slow and steady voice of the person she had bumped into. Spike Spiegel looked down at her, but for once, he didn't have that bemused half-smile plastered onto his face. He looked quite serious as he carefully set Rage straight on her feet.
"Come on. We're going for a drive." Rage was still in shock from having bumped into him, and her mind was still going in too many directions all at once for her to argue with him. He took her gently by the arm and led her to the black Porsche Carrera GT that conveniently enough sat across the street from the bar. They rode along in silence until Spike stopped the car at the end of a destroyed bridge that had a view of the city and of the water nearby. Rage kept her eyes in her lap, the buzz from the tequila shots beginning to wear off.
"You're not an easy person to get a hold of these days, Rage. But I knew you would be there tonight. And I don't say these things often, so I'd appreciate it if you just listened to me." Rage took a deep breath and looked up at Spike. It was almost as if she was in her teens and she had hung on Spike's every word as if it were gospel. "It's been four years since Lex has been gone, and a lot of things have gone down in your life and mine. But there was one thing that I had never gotten a chance to do. I wanted to tell you that...I owe you, and I owe his memory. I remember the fact that I owe him my life every day. And I know what it's like to lose someone you love more than almost life itself. I've been there. All you can do is keep going and live life as if you'll see them on the other side tomorrow. Honor their spirit and keep going."
"I..." Rage's jaw quivered, her eyes watered, rivulets of tears streaking down her face before slowly but surely her head fell over onto Spike's chest, and she started sobbing.
Four years of having lived with the pain and regret of losing Lex, and she had not shed a single tear.
Spike was expecting a lot of things, but a sobbing Rage was not one of them. Careful in intent but awkward in execution, he put his arms around her and just held her, marveling in the fact that while he seemed to be wise in his advice, it was inevitable that he would fail to take it for himself.
Now, back to the 6 other stories I'm working on. But I had to get that out there. Ta.