(no subject)
You can never say I didn't try. I don't give a damn anymore though. There's so many more things I could have better spent time on than this. All the worry wasn't worth it. It just comes down to nothing to show for it. My hands are empty. People say they can help me with it. The truth is I want to hold out on my own til it drags me down to the bottom. I always joke that I won't make it past 50. It just moved down to 30. My life is nothing but mediocre. I can't forsee any circumstance where I would need to exist for 10 more years. Face it, I'm 20 years old, with no real determined direction in life. I have no significance to my direct surroundings. I've got family and a few real friends. Theres no way I'm starting my own family though. Not that I don't want to... it's just not gonna happen though. I just want everyone to forget what they know about me. I want to run myself into the ground.