Adventures in Novocaine

May 18, 2007 14:20

My dentist, who is an excellent dentist and a really nice guy, is crazy. I'm having a few dental issues all at once, including two cavities, a broken filling, and a chipped crown. Instead of scheduling a series of appointments to fix each situation one at a time, he decides to tackle three of them at once. I just got back from getting three fillings at once.

The fillings themselves were easy. It's the needles and the freezing I hate. And since I was getting three fillings, he decided that I should be really, really frozen. REALLY frozen. Six needles' worth of frozen.

Since I don't remember the last time my face was this numb, I've decided to track it over the course of the day to see how long it takes to go away. Right now, I'm predicting that I'll regain all feeling by 1:00 p.m.. That's 5 hours after the first needle went in. Should be plenty of time.



9:30 a.m. -- Leave the dentists office. Afraid to unclench teeth for fear I will accidentally eat the inside of my mouth. And not find out about it until this afternoon.

9:40 a.m. -- Arrive at work, 40 minutes later than I was expecting to. Feel guilty for being so late. Also hope I can make it to my desk without seeing anyone I'll have to say hello to, since I sound like a stroke victim. Only drooled on myself once so far.

10:00 a.m. -- Reach up to scratch my ear, and realize that most of it is numb. My EAR is numb. Apparently, I'm lucky I can still blink.

10:30 a.m. -- Make lunch plans with Becky. She believes I will have feeling back by noon. I am less confident. Try rubbing my face to increase circulation and speed recovery. The feeling of dead, rubbery skin moving on my face makes me want to throw up. Stop rubbing my face.

11:00 a.m. -- Really thirsty. Decide to try drinking some water. Go the water fountain outside my office area to fill my mug, but forget my security card to get back in. Have to knock on the door to be let in, which means having to say "Sorry. Forgot my card. Thanks," to a colleague. It comes out "Suri. Figgt migh cot. Thngkx." Drink my water. I remember to use a straw, because I am smart. No drooling.

11:30 a.m. -- Still SO VERY NUMB. I've got my ear back, though. That's a good sign.

12:00 noon -- Leaving to meet Becky for lunch. Tongue is almost back to normal. Cheek still numb, but somehow really sore at the same time. It appears to be wearing off from the inside out, which is the least comfortable situation I can imagine. I'm starting to feel the effects of holding my mouth as wide open as possible for over an hour. I realize I could never be a prostitute. Not for moral reasons, but for lack of facial endurance. (I had already suspected as much.)

12:30 p.m. -- Having lunch. Chewing on the un-numb side. (What word means the opposite of "numb?" "Feeling?" "Sensate?" Am I allowed to use the word "sensate" in a sentence?) Starting to feel most of my mouth again, which is well-timed, because lunch is delicious. Not that my taste buds were affected, but I would hate to lose any of this tasty lunch by dribbling it down my chin. Becky comforts my fears by offering to ask for a bib for me. Then she accidentally drops some food out of her mouth. It is awesome.

1:00 p.m. -- All feeling has returned... except for my bottom lip. Temptation to stick out my lip is strong. Somehow, I think it should look as exaggerated as it feels. I resist.

1:30 p.m. -- And I'm back. Mouth is back to 100% sensation. Which is especially wonderful, because now it feels like a mouth that got stabbed with six needles, and an electric drill. And I forgot to bring any painkillers to work. I start to reminisce about 10:00 a.m.. I was so numb then. Good times, good times.
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