Maybe
Downtrodden would be a good way to put it. I have just had alot of weird thoughts going in and out of my mind at the speed of light! I suppose you could say that I am just tired of being tired. I've thought of death a few times, thought about ending my own life on a few occasions. Yes, I know thats a shitty way to think. Rest assured I have no intention of taking my own life by no means.. like i stated its just been a reoccurring thought. I have become distant around just about everyone. Some days I feel cast aside and misplaced, yet I know I haven't been.. I am gonna assume that it's the side effects of my hep c treatment meds.
Honestly, i am worried and a triffle scared of these side effects. I have been really hateful for about the last week.or two. I don't have hardly any mojo to get much done or even the want to do anything. I noticed that my hair isn't growing like it was . ( most of the time I shave every two to three days, currently its been five days and its not even half and long as it normally is, Curious is all ) Mostly, my sex drive has went into hiding, I mean I enjoy sex, almost addicted too it, yet all i want to do is sleep and be held, Cuddle if you will. Sometimes I feel dishevelved, loathsome, and out of place; Yet I know that is not the case. I have people that love me and care for me, still this is all in my frame of mind. How am i suppose to cope with this for the next six months. Am I literally going to loose my mind?? How much longer till I start to feel better and have the engery i was promised to have. The question to myself is: Can I handle this??? Am I going to loose my mind before all is said and done?
I just have so much going on right now I am unsure if I am emotionally stable enough to handle it ?