family its good to have
I don't really know if you would call what I have a family or not. Yet, it counts to me!! I started taken these damn Hep c treatments and i feel like utter shit.. Honestly I haven't done anything , and I mean anything since last thursday. Yet, I have this wonderful women who hasn't said anything about my laying around and "sleeping all the time" Yeah it seems this Med cocktail keeps me tired as hell all the time. I bet I have been more than bitchy and whiny. Yet, she doesn't seem to mind too bad. I have tried to do a few things here and there but I am so damn tired, and get that way so quickly. I hate it, I am starting to feel useless and sollomnace if you will.. Beck has mentioned that I have become more distant and not as loving. I didnt notice i had become that way. So maybe i can swing things back around to normal before they get too far out of kilter. Yet, i know the love it there. she tends to me and makes sure i have everything i need. Its hard to say how many time I am looked upon inthe middle of the night. She'll never tell me, but i know she does. I feel like i have become i big ole sick kid, that needs mommies care... The quesiton is who is gonna take care of momma when i can't. I mean thats my JOB ,, to fix stufff and clean Stuff ,, even the occasinal pile of shit. I don't mind. What happen s if i feel this way the whole time.. like a cripple, to weak towork . to damn tired to make anything safely. so what am I suppose to do .. these meds are suppose to make me . loose my hair, and be all down in the dumps, and awhole lot more shit i dont feel lke listing.. its just damn it .. I dont like it and I am gonna loose everything i love ,, just becasue i can't be like I use to be ..
is that selfish ???