Sep 14, 2011 22:56
So I spent the afternoon getting myself tested as to what sort of employment I am best suited for at this stage in the game.
Dian set it up. She knows a graduate student who needed volunteers for her thesis and, in that husbands are actually owned by wives, she volunteered me. When I gave her my best “What you talking about, Willis?” she explained that the testing would take all afternoon and, since it was this grad student’s own unique method (which she was trying to prove was superior to the current standard testing), would be comprised of equal parts tests and conversation. When she added that there would be free soda and cookies, I knew I was fighting a losing battle.
I turned up at the right time, right after lunch, and - after a brief explanation of what we were going to do - she commenced testing.
I can’t tell you her actual methodology, sorry to say, since I explained early on that I blogged incessantly and she made me swear to omit the actual methods she used. Fair, as they say, is fair and the cookies were pretty good, so …
Anyway, after four solid hours, she announced that I was done and that all my information was input into her proprietary software … and did I wish to know the results?
I admitted to some curiosity, so she brought up a file in her laptop and proceeded to tell me my employment strengths and weaknesses. I listened and had to admit that she pretty much had me pinned … so what does her results show me to be best qualified for?
She checked a notebook against her results, smiled, and said: ”Well, almost anything clerical or administrative, of course, but if you were willing to take a risk, try something unusual …”
I smiled, a little excited despite myself, and told her I was known to have the occasional flutter, so spill.
“Well, according to this, you’d make one hell of a writer or philosopher! Granted, neither is exactly what one might call a growth industry … I’m not really even sure what a philosopher would do for an actual living … but - since you blog - maybe you should really consider giving writing a try!”
Once, back in high school, I had a teacher tell us to come to his class “dressed for success.” He told us to “dress for the job you want” and to take that concept even farther, “to dress for the life you want, rather than the life you currently have.”
I made sure I entered the classroom last the next day.
I wore a Batman costume.
When he sputtered out an objection, I explained that I really did want to be a billionaire playboy who had a cave full of futuristic technology, drove the best cars, and was able to beat the holy ned out of anyone he felt like at night, dispensing justice willy-nilly.
Hell, who wouldn’t?
Imagine my disappointment in how it actually worked out … and then add some whiz-kid in her twenties telling me, at age fifty-four (wait … 2011 minus 1957 … yeah, 54) that I “should really consider giving writing a try!” Such a bright and cheerful voice, too.
Clerical, admin, philosophy, and writing.
Gad.
I mean … Gad!
day-to-day stuff,
rant