urp
Me no feels too good. Haven't felt 100% for a couple days now, had sinus and period-related lousy feelings. Then last night I got virtually nothing done. I hate that. Spent a lot of time online brainstorming with Snow (online pal, SM Dark people will be familiar with her) because she got a spark of an idea from the (fan)senshi based on birds and we went 'round and 'round about that for a while. That was cool, but once I got offline it was pretty late. I decided to try a different vcr with my video capture card to see if I could eliminate lines in the stills (8 hour tapes do it :P) and was successful with that, except this vcr pauses lousy, so I had to keep rewinding and trying to catch people without pausing them. Some of them looked really funny. XD Biiig time waster, but at least I got some nice pics from "Ride with the Devil" (yes, THAT movie again). I didn't even have any sound for the big death scene and it still got me all weepy. XD I guess that was something to get done, though not really what I was shooting for.
Once I got sick of that, I went to do some other stuff and something triggered a panic attack. Does anyone else have these things? They used to be isolated to just certain stimuli, but they've gotten worse over the years and they make me feel so incredibly lousy, like I'm going to die or something. It's just total panic; can't breathe, shaking, heart racing, stomach starts churning, can't calm down... the not being able to breathe is the worst part. I got that calmed down after a while but another one started right around 6a.m. I had to force myself to eat something (just 'cause I hadn't) and then to work on an essay just to get my mind off the panic. That worked, thankfully.
Then tonight, I had another for no good freakin' reason. Nothing to panic about, no bad thoughts, just sitting here and BAM. It's still sort of here, though it's calmed down a little. I may cut out the caffiene for tonight and see if that helps at all. But I'm feeling like a tangle of neuroses tonight. :P I hope I can actually get something done. It'd be nice to be able to breathe. :P
Once I got sick of that, I went to do some other stuff and something triggered a panic attack. Does anyone else have these things? They used to be isolated to just certain stimuli, but they've gotten worse over the years and they make me feel so incredibly lousy, like I'm going to die or something. It's just total panic; can't breathe, shaking, heart racing, stomach starts churning, can't calm down... the not being able to breathe is the worst part. I got that calmed down after a while but another one started right around 6a.m. I had to force myself to eat something (just 'cause I hadn't) and then to work on an essay just to get my mind off the panic. That worked, thankfully.
Then tonight, I had another for no good freakin' reason. Nothing to panic about, no bad thoughts, just sitting here and BAM. It's still sort of here, though it's calmed down a little. I may cut out the caffiene for tonight and see if that helps at all. But I'm feeling like a tangle of neuroses tonight. :P I hope I can actually get something done. It'd be nice to be able to breathe. :P