The Adventures of Hurty Feet Woman and ImpatientMan
Busy day! We ran errands today, and my dad decided he would assume his not-so-secret identity, ImpatientMan (so impatient he can't even put a space between the words!). And you have to say it really fast. Anyway, we started at the post office, where there was a long line. He didn't bitch so much there, but when I came out, one of the back tires was flat. Someone had told my dad about it while I was in the PO. So, we took a side trip to get the tire taken off, the spare put on, and left the tire there to be fixed. We picked up a nail somewhere. Because of that, we couldn't go by his doctor's and get a prescription (they had closed), so we're doing that tomorrow.
After this, we went to the bank, and then I needed to make some copies. It's been many years since I put out any issues of "Demented," my zine. There are many reasons why, but the main reason is because making web pages is so much easier. But, someone sent me $2 for a back issue. I didn't have any copies of this issue made up (sold them all years ago), so I needed to make some new copies so I could send her one. I thought 5 copies would be cool, how long could that take? Well, it took nearly an hour, and I don't really know why, except maybe that I just had lots of pages to copy? Copy machines have come a long way since I last made copies like this (which was probably 1996?). I made 2 sided copies with far less effort; the machine was sort of like a scanner. I put the first side on there, it scanned it, then I turned the paper over and it scanned the back side. Once I pressed the Start button, it printed both sides at once and spit them out. Pretty cool! In the past, I had to manually turn the paper over, make sure it was positioned right so all the pages would be going the right way, and copy a second time to do the back side of each sheet. Took much longer, especially when I was doing 50 copies of each page. It took me about 10 minutes to get the hang of this new machine and get the pages positioned properly. This is sort of hard to explain if you've never done a digest-sized zine. But the first few copies I made had upsidedown pages, so I had to do those again.
Once I got the hang of it, it was easy, but it still took nearly an hour. I think I had about 15 sheets of paper, with stuff to copy on both sides. I liked the machine so much I wish I had one at home!
Anyway, this is when my dad turned into ImpatientMan. He was like, "That took nearly an hour, why'd it take so long, blah blah blah." I tried to explain about the new machine and how I didn't know how to use it. "Oh. So there was a long line?" Um, nnnnnno, that's not what I said... "Then why'd it take so long?" WHY DO YOU ASK QUESTIONS IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO THE ANSWERS?!?! I'm like I don't know, I just copied each sheet, and they're double-sided, and that's how long it took. I didn't dawdle, really, it just took that long. "Well that took nearly an hour if I'd known it was going to take that long I would have said let's do it tomorrow butittooksolongandwhy'dittakesolongblaaaaaah."
I shudder to think how long the copying would have taken if I'd been using the old type of machine.
Next, we went to the store, did some shopping, got lots of yummy food for me to stuff my face with, and came home. Do you have Pizza Combos? I do. ^_^ Numnumnum. And Rolos. And Guacamole Doritos. And Vanilla Coke. EVERYONE LOVES VANILLA COKE. >:P Or they do if they're SANE. >:)
We get home, and my feet hurt so much from all the running around that I just wanted a minute to sit down. I go in my dad's room and sit down on the couch, and we've been home maybe two minutes so there's no way I could have unloaded the car already. He's already like, "Since you're done with the groceries, make my double-meat sandwich." Uh yeah, I'm Superwoman! I flew the groceries upstairs and put them away at lightning speed! Let's allow the ice cream to melt while I make your sandwich! (Yes, our kitchen is upstairs. :P A major source of bitching since 1978.) Yes ImpatientMan, right away! :P No, really, I told him to wait so I could get the dang groceries upstairs before everything spoils. Everytime I came in there to bring him something he had bought just for himself (like Mr. Goodbars, soup, bananas, stuff like that), he's like, "Bring me the receipt." I heard you the first 10,000 times you said it, I haven't found it yet. I won't forget in twenty seconds, no need to remind me so often. "Oh, you're going to make my sandwich now." NO, I'm still unloading groceries. Just bringing in your nanners so I have less to carry upstairs and then back downstairs when I realize it's yours. I swear, he's the most impatient person I know some days. :P
After this, we went to the bank, and then I needed to make some copies. It's been many years since I put out any issues of "Demented," my zine. There are many reasons why, but the main reason is because making web pages is so much easier. But, someone sent me $2 for a back issue. I didn't have any copies of this issue made up (sold them all years ago), so I needed to make some new copies so I could send her one. I thought 5 copies would be cool, how long could that take? Well, it took nearly an hour, and I don't really know why, except maybe that I just had lots of pages to copy? Copy machines have come a long way since I last made copies like this (which was probably 1996?). I made 2 sided copies with far less effort; the machine was sort of like a scanner. I put the first side on there, it scanned it, then I turned the paper over and it scanned the back side. Once I pressed the Start button, it printed both sides at once and spit them out. Pretty cool! In the past, I had to manually turn the paper over, make sure it was positioned right so all the pages would be going the right way, and copy a second time to do the back side of each sheet. Took much longer, especially when I was doing 50 copies of each page. It took me about 10 minutes to get the hang of this new machine and get the pages positioned properly. This is sort of hard to explain if you've never done a digest-sized zine. But the first few copies I made had upsidedown pages, so I had to do those again.
Once I got the hang of it, it was easy, but it still took nearly an hour. I think I had about 15 sheets of paper, with stuff to copy on both sides. I liked the machine so much I wish I had one at home!
Anyway, this is when my dad turned into ImpatientMan. He was like, "That took nearly an hour, why'd it take so long, blah blah blah." I tried to explain about the new machine and how I didn't know how to use it. "Oh. So there was a long line?" Um, nnnnnno, that's not what I said... "Then why'd it take so long?" WHY DO YOU ASK QUESTIONS IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO THE ANSWERS?!?! I'm like I don't know, I just copied each sheet, and they're double-sided, and that's how long it took. I didn't dawdle, really, it just took that long. "Well that took nearly an hour if I'd known it was going to take that long I would have said let's do it tomorrow butittooksolongandwhy'dittakesolongblaaaaaah."
I shudder to think how long the copying would have taken if I'd been using the old type of machine.
Next, we went to the store, did some shopping, got lots of yummy food for me to stuff my face with, and came home. Do you have Pizza Combos? I do. ^_^ Numnumnum. And Rolos. And Guacamole Doritos. And Vanilla Coke. EVERYONE LOVES VANILLA COKE. >:P Or they do if they're SANE. >:)
We get home, and my feet hurt so much from all the running around that I just wanted a minute to sit down. I go in my dad's room and sit down on the couch, and we've been home maybe two minutes so there's no way I could have unloaded the car already. He's already like, "Since you're done with the groceries, make my double-meat sandwich." Uh yeah, I'm Superwoman! I flew the groceries upstairs and put them away at lightning speed! Let's allow the ice cream to melt while I make your sandwich! (Yes, our kitchen is upstairs. :P A major source of bitching since 1978.) Yes ImpatientMan, right away! :P No, really, I told him to wait so I could get the dang groceries upstairs before everything spoils. Everytime I came in there to bring him something he had bought just for himself (like Mr. Goodbars, soup, bananas, stuff like that), he's like, "Bring me the receipt." I heard you the first 10,000 times you said it, I haven't found it yet. I won't forget in twenty seconds, no need to remind me so often. "Oh, you're going to make my sandwich now." NO, I'm still unloading groceries. Just bringing in your nanners so I have less to carry upstairs and then back downstairs when I realize it's yours. I swear, he's the most impatient person I know some days. :P