Blue Dong
I think one of the worst things that has happened to us as a society is the daily inclusion of psychoanalysis in our lives. I noticed that most everyone believes to be proficient in it and will apply what they’ve picked up liberally when giving you unsolicited advice. I sometime think this is because we’ve seen it too much on television, where so many writers are deep in their own heads they are constantly thinking about reasoning. In any case, we tend to analyze everything; what caused so-and-so to do this-and-that? “Was it their latent hatred for their mother that made them call me a bitch just now?” “Did his repressed disappointment of his childhood crush make him hurt me like that?” “Did the Pysch 101 he took in college cause him to become a script writer?” I know I do it too, which makes me feel that it’s a little, I don’t know, irresponsible? Hell, everyone who goes to college now has to take at least one course in it but I often wonder what its real contribution is to our society today.
Why this sudden irritation with the entire field of psychiatry and analysis? Mostly three media-inspired reasons that I viewed over the weekend, that’s why. First of all, I was watching old reruns of House and was just struck at how much better the old episodes were; reminded me of why I was a fan. Lately, I don’t care if I catch an episode as I feel the entire show has lost its charm. It used to be rather quirky with these fyn side stories provided with the clinic work, thankfully brief expositions on the main characters and their drama-riffic lives, and House being mean but mostly clever and for the most, right. Today, it’s all psycho-analysis on why House does anything (as he gets more and more immature and wrong) and soap-opera-like plots with barely any comic relief. The show seeks to answer the great question to “Why?” every episode, which grates on my nerves. I don’t like being preached to through that format--least of all from a cynic.
My second reason for bitter posting: Lifetime movies. Yeah, they’re embarrassing to admit to having seen at least one or two but I actually have a defense; I generally watch crap on Lifetime if I want to nap to the television. Unfortunately I forgot I tend to actually start paying attention when I start raging over what’s happening. It was one of those fluffy movies where the girl is getting married and everything goes wrong. I think what set me off is the groom-to-be, a bro of all people, psychoanalyzing his life while playing basketball. He leaves in a huff from the game with the comment to his bro friend, “stop vicariously living through me!” ::eyetwitch:: I’ll let you have your own commentary on that one. I think it’s too ridiculous to comment on.
I know, weak examples. I’m sure some people would come at me with stories of how this sort of stuff has helped them and I shouldn’t be so down on it. Perhaps I feel this way because I’ve never had to speak to a counselor about my problems or worked out my “issues” with a psychiatrist. I’m insensitive to the plight of those who do but notice that I don’t snap on it as a profession; just the irresponsible way society throws around terms without knowing much about it. It’s like using Wikipedia to diagnose cancer; who needs to study it when I can read the Cliff Notes version of medicine! It’s just tacky and I think is more ignorant than not doing it at all. Yet we all do it; we all have seen it so much that it makes us all philosophers and critics and analyzers. I think that leads me to my final point.
Yeah, I saw Watchmen on Friday. My motive for seeing it is part curiosity and part the fact that I like fantasy movies, which is how I classify comic book films. Let me preface this very early and explain my stance on comic books, lest I offend a real fan. There might have been a time in my youth where I might have pretended I liked comic books just to keep my geek cred (or to make guys take me seriously, which never worked) but thank goodness for growing up and understanding that honesty about this sort of thing is much better than pretending. I have probably cracked the spine of maybe one or two real comic books in my life; I think they were Spiderman or X-Men. I did watch the Batman Animated series religiously; the Spiderman cartoon unfaithfully, and the X-Men cartoon desperately because I could never catch it on television. Yet, those are generally considered baser than their novella originals and lumped together a lot like, well, this.
At my core, I’m a weeaboo; I have read lots of manga. The style and the stories appeal to me so much more. I have spoken of being seven or eight when we were first introduced to the manga style by Nintendo Power. Shotaro Ishinomori & Charlie Nozawa’s Legend of Zelda & Super Mario “comics” appealed to me; I couldn’t get enough of it. I remembered Liz and I would just giggle when we’d quote Link’s exasperated line, “[I have to collect]Three symbols of virtue!? ::falls over::” It was hilarious. Don’t even get me started on the Super Mario comic; hilarious! I agree that some of the more serious mangas are just as emo as any comic book (sometimes worse) but it’s the style I’m attracted to more.
Most comic books lately are too deep into their own philosophy, again, psychoanalyzing super heroes and masked avengers; trying to find some convoluted reason for their enemies and an impetus to their crime fighting (always ignoring the obvious ridiculousness of the fact that they, for instance, dress up like a animals in full bondage gear). When I look back at older issues of comic books I giggle because I think the modern equivalent of the comic book is rather (dare I say it? I dare) pretentious . . . even a little retarded. That’s how I felt about Watchmen.
I’m not saying this because I didn’t like the movie; it was visually stunning with one of the best opening sequences I’ve ever seen in a movie ever. When it was just a murder mystery, I was intrigued. I found myself liking a few quite complicated characters, Rorschach & The Comedian. I cannot believe I actually LOVED Rorschach who started out as this crazy masked blogger (“Rorschach’s LiveJournal, Monday. Everyone is pissing me off today; I’m going to kill them.”) Jokes aside, it reminded me of old film noirs. I loved the flashbacks on the Comedian, who, again, I was shocked that I ended up liking as a character. It was like what happens to me every time I watch “Clockwork Orange,” I always end up rooting for the most nasty, evil, and despicable character after they humanize them a bit. This is how women fall in love with mass murders on death row, I swear. :|
The biggest downfall of the film occurred when the plot behind everything comes out and effectively, the film slows to a halt when you realize this story is a commentary about war and human nature and the utter hopelessness of everything. Talk about bullshit! The hopeful and gallant ones are marked off as naïve and childish and the insane and bleak characters are somehow . . .heroes?
Other points of irritation, the trampy ways of Silk Spectre II. She dumps her blue Oscar-looking boyfriend and runs to the guy she’s sexually frustrated for years, rebound fucks him once, porno-esq humps him again out of pure nostalgia-passion in his flying sex machine, but then runs after her ex the moment he calls. Don’t even get me started on Silk Spectre I and her being in love with her rapist.
My biggest rage probably came in what we all came to know as the “blue dong.” Oh. Em. Gee. I know there’s some part of me that will always be twelve and giggle at fart jokes and point and laugh at naked guys however I at least was not the only one uncomfortable with the full frontal on Doctor Manhattan. Not only did his disconnected rhetoric and holier-than-thou attitude get on my nerves very fast, but the man doesn’t believe in underwear..or pants…or clothing. Sure, sure, he’s drawn like that in the comic yet I couldn’t help but exclaim in the theater near the end, “please, God, let him be wearing pants.” I don’t think people want to talk about this too much lest they be marked immature so take my comments as you will: the blue dong made me cringe. At least I was not alone; Liz, Tori, and Liz’s two guy friends who came with us all took issue with it-we were up until 3 am outside the theater talking about it. I suppose it’s mostly because we’re so used to seeing tits in films and not so much male genitalia. I expect we’ll see a lot more, now that Watchmen has seriously broken the ice on this comfort zone.
My final comments on the movie comes in this; I have never in my 25 years of life been carded for an R rated movie before until this one. It’s probably because it is so filthy through and through. The violence is over the top and the ethics are allover the place but ironically the language is rather controlled, which as South Park pointed out, is all you need to be close to a NC-17 rating. It’s close to porn in a few places (again, I’ll be called immature for thinking that). In light of all of this, the worst thing about it is that it is devoid of all hope or love, again, spouting that love is a weak thing. It’s childish, naïve, and base. Hope and love is foolish so you shouldn’t look for it in this story.
Even so, the movie is worth seeing at least once. Visually stunning, cool fights, some sweet lines and rather entertaining. Nevertheless, not entirely satisfying; like a big steak with no taste.
So, I’m a hypocrite for going overboard and bashing on the way we overanalyze everything, having overanalyzed the film but I hope you can see my points. And maybe you’ll go see Watchmen but just watch out, okay? The shiny shooped blue dong might start to haunt you, as it does me while “Ride of the Valkyries” plays in the background.
Why this sudden irritation with the entire field of psychiatry and analysis? Mostly three media-inspired reasons that I viewed over the weekend, that’s why. First of all, I was watching old reruns of House and was just struck at how much better the old episodes were; reminded me of why I was a fan. Lately, I don’t care if I catch an episode as I feel the entire show has lost its charm. It used to be rather quirky with these fyn side stories provided with the clinic work, thankfully brief expositions on the main characters and their drama-riffic lives, and House being mean but mostly clever and for the most, right. Today, it’s all psycho-analysis on why House does anything (as he gets more and more immature and wrong) and soap-opera-like plots with barely any comic relief. The show seeks to answer the great question to “Why?” every episode, which grates on my nerves. I don’t like being preached to through that format--least of all from a cynic.
My second reason for bitter posting: Lifetime movies. Yeah, they’re embarrassing to admit to having seen at least one or two but I actually have a defense; I generally watch crap on Lifetime if I want to nap to the television. Unfortunately I forgot I tend to actually start paying attention when I start raging over what’s happening. It was one of those fluffy movies where the girl is getting married and everything goes wrong. I think what set me off is the groom-to-be, a bro of all people, psychoanalyzing his life while playing basketball. He leaves in a huff from the game with the comment to his bro friend, “stop vicariously living through me!” ::eyetwitch:: I’ll let you have your own commentary on that one. I think it’s too ridiculous to comment on.
I know, weak examples. I’m sure some people would come at me with stories of how this sort of stuff has helped them and I shouldn’t be so down on it. Perhaps I feel this way because I’ve never had to speak to a counselor about my problems or worked out my “issues” with a psychiatrist. I’m insensitive to the plight of those who do but notice that I don’t snap on it as a profession; just the irresponsible way society throws around terms without knowing much about it. It’s like using Wikipedia to diagnose cancer; who needs to study it when I can read the Cliff Notes version of medicine! It’s just tacky and I think is more ignorant than not doing it at all. Yet we all do it; we all have seen it so much that it makes us all philosophers and critics and analyzers. I think that leads me to my final point.
Yeah, I saw Watchmen on Friday. My motive for seeing it is part curiosity and part the fact that I like fantasy movies, which is how I classify comic book films. Let me preface this very early and explain my stance on comic books, lest I offend a real fan. There might have been a time in my youth where I might have pretended I liked comic books just to keep my geek cred (or to make guys take me seriously, which never worked) but thank goodness for growing up and understanding that honesty about this sort of thing is much better than pretending. I have probably cracked the spine of maybe one or two real comic books in my life; I think they were Spiderman or X-Men. I did watch the Batman Animated series religiously; the Spiderman cartoon unfaithfully, and the X-Men cartoon desperately because I could never catch it on television. Yet, those are generally considered baser than their novella originals and lumped together a lot like, well, this.
At my core, I’m a weeaboo; I have read lots of manga. The style and the stories appeal to me so much more. I have spoken of being seven or eight when we were first introduced to the manga style by Nintendo Power. Shotaro Ishinomori & Charlie Nozawa’s Legend of Zelda & Super Mario “comics” appealed to me; I couldn’t get enough of it. I remembered Liz and I would just giggle when we’d quote Link’s exasperated line, “[I have to collect]Three symbols of virtue!? ::falls over::” It was hilarious. Don’t even get me started on the Super Mario comic; hilarious! I agree that some of the more serious mangas are just as emo as any comic book (sometimes worse) but it’s the style I’m attracted to more.
Most comic books lately are too deep into their own philosophy, again, psychoanalyzing super heroes and masked avengers; trying to find some convoluted reason for their enemies and an impetus to their crime fighting (always ignoring the obvious ridiculousness of the fact that they, for instance, dress up like a animals in full bondage gear). When I look back at older issues of comic books I giggle because I think the modern equivalent of the comic book is rather (dare I say it? I dare) pretentious . . . even a little retarded. That’s how I felt about Watchmen.
I’m not saying this because I didn’t like the movie; it was visually stunning with one of the best opening sequences I’ve ever seen in a movie ever. When it was just a murder mystery, I was intrigued. I found myself liking a few quite complicated characters, Rorschach & The Comedian. I cannot believe I actually LOVED Rorschach who started out as this crazy masked blogger (“Rorschach’s LiveJournal, Monday. Everyone is pissing me off today; I’m going to kill them.”) Jokes aside, it reminded me of old film noirs. I loved the flashbacks on the Comedian, who, again, I was shocked that I ended up liking as a character. It was like what happens to me every time I watch “Clockwork Orange,” I always end up rooting for the most nasty, evil, and despicable character after they humanize them a bit. This is how women fall in love with mass murders on death row, I swear. :|
The biggest downfall of the film occurred when the plot behind everything comes out and effectively, the film slows to a halt when you realize this story is a commentary about war and human nature and the utter hopelessness of everything. Talk about bullshit! The hopeful and gallant ones are marked off as naïve and childish and the insane and bleak characters are somehow . . .heroes?
Other points of irritation, the trampy ways of Silk Spectre II. She dumps her blue Oscar-looking boyfriend and runs to the guy she’s sexually frustrated for years, rebound fucks him once, porno-esq humps him again out of pure nostalgia-passion in his flying sex machine, but then runs after her ex the moment he calls. Don’t even get me started on Silk Spectre I and her being in love with her rapist.
My biggest rage probably came in what we all came to know as the “blue dong.” Oh. Em. Gee. I know there’s some part of me that will always be twelve and giggle at fart jokes and point and laugh at naked guys however I at least was not the only one uncomfortable with the full frontal on Doctor Manhattan. Not only did his disconnected rhetoric and holier-than-thou attitude get on my nerves very fast, but the man doesn’t believe in underwear..or pants…or clothing. Sure, sure, he’s drawn like that in the comic yet I couldn’t help but exclaim in the theater near the end, “please, God, let him be wearing pants.” I don’t think people want to talk about this too much lest they be marked immature so take my comments as you will: the blue dong made me cringe. At least I was not alone; Liz, Tori, and Liz’s two guy friends who came with us all took issue with it-we were up until 3 am outside the theater talking about it. I suppose it’s mostly because we’re so used to seeing tits in films and not so much male genitalia. I expect we’ll see a lot more, now that Watchmen has seriously broken the ice on this comfort zone.
My final comments on the movie comes in this; I have never in my 25 years of life been carded for an R rated movie before until this one. It’s probably because it is so filthy through and through. The violence is over the top and the ethics are allover the place but ironically the language is rather controlled, which as South Park pointed out, is all you need to be close to a NC-17 rating. It’s close to porn in a few places (again, I’ll be called immature for thinking that). In light of all of this, the worst thing about it is that it is devoid of all hope or love, again, spouting that love is a weak thing. It’s childish, naïve, and base. Hope and love is foolish so you shouldn’t look for it in this story.
Even so, the movie is worth seeing at least once. Visually stunning, cool fights, some sweet lines and rather entertaining. Nevertheless, not entirely satisfying; like a big steak with no taste.
So, I’m a hypocrite for going overboard and bashing on the way we overanalyze everything, having overanalyzed the film but I hope you can see my points. And maybe you’ll go see Watchmen but just watch out, okay? The shiny shooped blue dong might start to haunt you, as it does me while “Ride of the Valkyries” plays in the background.