(no subject)
wow i really let time lapse in between my last post. well let's see, nothing too momentous has occurred. however i am receiving my last of the UC transfer admission notifications. i went down to LA to visit my brother and my gay uncle and my antie and cousin flew in from new jersey. and while i was down there i stopped by uc santa barbara. i don't quite know how i feel about it yet. especially when all i hear are my bias friends who keep telling me it's a toxic place with lots of toxic white folks, whatever that means. after all, any place would be a step up from boston. it looks more and more that's where i'll end up too. got rejected from ucla and ucb which i initially didn't care to get into, but now i kinda think it would be a really nice set up -i'd know the area and my friends and stuff wouldn't need to change drastically, and i'd get the name credibility. but now as i talk...err write it out, those are kinda bad, or rather empty reasons. i should be getting a fresh start somewhere. especially since i've been metaphorically been forcing myself to look at my situation with my mom and how unhealthy it is living here. it breaks my heart.
in other news, i've been having a gang load of "blasts from the pasts". people from high school are coming back into my life. which is so weird, considering i worked so hard in high school not to be social (for personal reasons, you might know if you're close, you might not), but yeah lol. me and jetta are doing our thursday thing which is so full of love and rejouvenating energy. i saw my friend from my malcolm x middle school who was mad i never told her i was gay. i saw my other homegirl at my students' talent show (go figgure) and i talked with cori about our life updates and how i could give him some back-seat support if he wants to get involved with queer youth resources again. but yeah, it just keeps on going. oh and my other homegirl who i was hella tight with in high school, alane, told me that one of my old teachers was asking about me.
um the dating thing is out of the emotional rut. but not very much for the better. which i'm also thinking might be related to needing a fresh start (in an L.A. setting perhaps). wow that's so exciting to think i could finally familiarize myself with SoCal culture, being the little berkeley/oakland hybrid hoodrat for most of my life. i'm even thinking i would want to look up davis, see what's the dillio with that place. i really never wanted to be in such a desolate location, but i know too many fucking awesome people that come from there to deny it as a viable option at this point.
i need to buy albums. leona lewis, dollhouse, and ashly simpson. i never thought i'd be buying those, but they're good and it would be such the first switch to soCal mentality. haha
but yeah. a lot of this is surreal. whether i go somewhere or stay, i absolutely NEED to make my life more healthy and be more attuned to my inner dialogue. something that's been dead for almost a decade.
in other news, i've been having a gang load of "blasts from the pasts". people from high school are coming back into my life. which is so weird, considering i worked so hard in high school not to be social (for personal reasons, you might know if you're close, you might not), but yeah lol. me and jetta are doing our thursday thing which is so full of love and rejouvenating energy. i saw my friend from my malcolm x middle school who was mad i never told her i was gay. i saw my other homegirl at my students' talent show (go figgure) and i talked with cori about our life updates and how i could give him some back-seat support if he wants to get involved with queer youth resources again. but yeah, it just keeps on going. oh and my other homegirl who i was hella tight with in high school, alane, told me that one of my old teachers was asking about me.
um the dating thing is out of the emotional rut. but not very much for the better. which i'm also thinking might be related to needing a fresh start (in an L.A. setting perhaps). wow that's so exciting to think i could finally familiarize myself with SoCal culture, being the little berkeley/oakland hybrid hoodrat for most of my life. i'm even thinking i would want to look up davis, see what's the dillio with that place. i really never wanted to be in such a desolate location, but i know too many fucking awesome people that come from there to deny it as a viable option at this point.
i need to buy albums. leona lewis, dollhouse, and ashly simpson. i never thought i'd be buying those, but they're good and it would be such the first switch to soCal mentality. haha
but yeah. a lot of this is surreal. whether i go somewhere or stay, i absolutely NEED to make my life more healthy and be more attuned to my inner dialogue. something that's been dead for almost a decade.