Feeling really down in the dumps.
And, as usual, it's all about money.
I finally caved and bought new glasses because I've been seeing double late in the afternoon from working on the computer all day. I thought it was because my glasses prescription was over five years old and once I got new glasses it would go away. A week and a half later and I'm still seeing double in the afternoon. But I really like the frames better, and I got them for $30 after my insurance covered their share ($120.) But, because of the lenses (about another $120 discount there), the glasses actually cost me: $444. Trifocal progressives with a non-glare coating (an extra $80 right there) that was supposed to help with using the computer. AHAHAHAHAHA. Not. But still--cute!
I bought my plane ticket for the trip to Pasadena, finally: $440. It was $100 more than I was hoping for, but I am taking a goddamn vacation if it's the last thing I do.
My microwave crapped out on me this week. Actually, it was my daughter's old microwave she gave me when my old-old microwave crapped out. Still, it lasted quite a while and was about 12-years-old when it gave up the ghost, so I'm not complaining! Good deal for a free microwave. But after five days of reheating leftovers on the stove or in the toaster oven and, in the meanwhile, checking places like Target and JCPenney for something at a reasonable price, I broke and went to American TV and Appliance. The salesman was really nice and eager to make a sale and gave me $30 off on the microwave I wanted, yay! I told him I couldn't live without sensor reheat and they only had one model with that function that was close to my price range. But it was still over the price I was willing to pay. And I would have settled for something without! But he said the one I wanted was going on sale tomorrow and he'd give me that price today, hence $30 off. Cost of new microwave: $142 (after tax.)
My garbage disposal jammed over a month ago and I still haven't called in someone to look at it. Most of these repair guys charge $75 just to make a house call, without the cost of the actual repair. So, I'm living with using just one side of my kitchen sink. Good thing it's a double sink. It's something I can put off for a while, but I hate the thought that my condo is falling apart around me and I can't afford to get it fixed. I'm a rotten home-owner.
And the last money-related bitch is about raises at work. Under dear Governor Walker's budget repair bill of 2011, he reduced the amount of state funding for the university system by $118 million. The employees of the system haven't had a raise in over four years. I want to bash every single person out there that voted for him, because I'm goddamned sure they got at least a 3-5% pay raise every fucking year, while state employees have seen their purchasing power constantly eroded. Anyway, the UW system has gained more autonomy under some fancy footwork between the past chancellor and Walker's administration that I don't understand. Everyone got an e-mail last week saying that 1/3 of the UW employees would get a 5% (or $1500, whichever was higher) raise this year. But how they were going to choose them wasn't described very clearly except that they would take into consideration things like awards won, etc. I have a feeling there's going to be a lot of resentment on the part of people who don't get raises. I'm pretty damn sure I'm going to be in the pool of resentful people. I've only been there 2-1/2 years and I'm willing to bet most of the raises are going to go those people who haven't had a raise in four years despite the fact they are probably making $10k more than me because they've been there longer and remember the days of 5-7% pay raises.
It doesn't help I received a rejection letter for one of the internal job posting I applied for and still haven't heard about the other one. How the fuck is one supposed to move up in the world if even the division you work for isn't willing to look deeper. Either one of those jobs would boost my pay by 50%. Fifty percent! And I'm fucking qualified for them. But every position that they say bachelor's degree required, they hire someone with a master's. Just like my position doesn't say a bachelor's is required, but over 75% of the program associates have one.
It all makes me feel like a fucking failure. I'm tired of having to pinch pennies. I'm tired of being overlooked. Especially when the people I work for directly sing my praises. But no one's listening. Because I'm a program associate and everyone knows we aren't capable of anything more. We're the civilian equivalent of what the military call "cannon fodder." Frontline grunts, totally expendable and easily replaced. Obviously, we must not know much because we're so easily replaced. The last program associate hired used to be a middle school teacher. She's fooling herself if she thinks taking this job will lead anywhere for her. I was a fool, too.
So, that's the state of me. But, hey, 29 pounds down since January! I'm succeeding at something! (Don't mind the ticker in the sidebar, I started using that program after I'd already lost seven pounds.)
I finally caved and bought new glasses because I've been seeing double late in the afternoon from working on the computer all day. I thought it was because my glasses prescription was over five years old and once I got new glasses it would go away. A week and a half later and I'm still seeing double in the afternoon. But I really like the frames better, and I got them for $30 after my insurance covered their share ($120.) But, because of the lenses (about another $120 discount there), the glasses actually cost me: $444. Trifocal progressives with a non-glare coating (an extra $80 right there) that was supposed to help with using the computer. AHAHAHAHAHA. Not. But still--cute!
I bought my plane ticket for the trip to Pasadena, finally: $440. It was $100 more than I was hoping for, but I am taking a goddamn vacation if it's the last thing I do.
My microwave crapped out on me this week. Actually, it was my daughter's old microwave she gave me when my old-old microwave crapped out. Still, it lasted quite a while and was about 12-years-old when it gave up the ghost, so I'm not complaining! Good deal for a free microwave. But after five days of reheating leftovers on the stove or in the toaster oven and, in the meanwhile, checking places like Target and JCPenney for something at a reasonable price, I broke and went to American TV and Appliance. The salesman was really nice and eager to make a sale and gave me $30 off on the microwave I wanted, yay! I told him I couldn't live without sensor reheat and they only had one model with that function that was close to my price range. But it was still over the price I was willing to pay. And I would have settled for something without! But he said the one I wanted was going on sale tomorrow and he'd give me that price today, hence $30 off. Cost of new microwave: $142 (after tax.)
My garbage disposal jammed over a month ago and I still haven't called in someone to look at it. Most of these repair guys charge $75 just to make a house call, without the cost of the actual repair. So, I'm living with using just one side of my kitchen sink. Good thing it's a double sink. It's something I can put off for a while, but I hate the thought that my condo is falling apart around me and I can't afford to get it fixed. I'm a rotten home-owner.
And the last money-related bitch is about raises at work. Under dear Governor Walker's budget repair bill of 2011, he reduced the amount of state funding for the university system by $118 million. The employees of the system haven't had a raise in over four years. I want to bash every single person out there that voted for him, because I'm goddamned sure they got at least a 3-5% pay raise every fucking year, while state employees have seen their purchasing power constantly eroded. Anyway, the UW system has gained more autonomy under some fancy footwork between the past chancellor and Walker's administration that I don't understand. Everyone got an e-mail last week saying that 1/3 of the UW employees would get a 5% (or $1500, whichever was higher) raise this year. But how they were going to choose them wasn't described very clearly except that they would take into consideration things like awards won, etc. I have a feeling there's going to be a lot of resentment on the part of people who don't get raises. I'm pretty damn sure I'm going to be in the pool of resentful people. I've only been there 2-1/2 years and I'm willing to bet most of the raises are going to go those people who haven't had a raise in four years despite the fact they are probably making $10k more than me because they've been there longer and remember the days of 5-7% pay raises.
It doesn't help I received a rejection letter for one of the internal job posting I applied for and still haven't heard about the other one. How the fuck is one supposed to move up in the world if even the division you work for isn't willing to look deeper. Either one of those jobs would boost my pay by 50%. Fifty percent! And I'm fucking qualified for them. But every position that they say bachelor's degree required, they hire someone with a master's. Just like my position doesn't say a bachelor's is required, but over 75% of the program associates have one.
It all makes me feel like a fucking failure. I'm tired of having to pinch pennies. I'm tired of being overlooked. Especially when the people I work for directly sing my praises. But no one's listening. Because I'm a program associate and everyone knows we aren't capable of anything more. We're the civilian equivalent of what the military call "cannon fodder." Frontline grunts, totally expendable and easily replaced. Obviously, we must not know much because we're so easily replaced. The last program associate hired used to be a middle school teacher. She's fooling herself if she thinks taking this job will lead anywhere for her. I was a fool, too.
So, that's the state of me. But, hey, 29 pounds down since January! I'm succeeding at something! (Don't mind the ticker in the sidebar, I started using that program after I'd already lost seven pounds.)